A Minute is LIke a Day When You’re Falling in Love

 

D G

Well I saw her on a Monday on the 5:00 Train

And by the time we got to Winnemucca, my life was not the same

CG

I dreamed us eating dinner, and of meeting mom and dad

DG

As we rode along through Reno, think about all the good times we had

 

DG

Because a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

Yes, a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

 

D G

There’s the show we saw in Branson, there’s the clams we ate in Maine

And the children that we’d raise were all a-dancing in my brain

CG

Sure there’d be some times I lied and a few times that she cried

DG

But they’d pale compared to the Sunday afternoons when we would ride

 

DG

Because a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

Yes, a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

 

D G

I reality, well, she and me, we never shared a word

But I’m not much for the real world, though the doctor says I’m cured

CG

I’m happy to keep dreaming and to slow each minute down

DG

When she’s gone there’ll be another I can build a world around

 

DG

Because a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

Yes, a minute is like a day when you’re falling in love

Keep Being Awesome

 

Bass:  A A A C D C G G G E D E C C C D E D B B B C D C

 

I’m gonna keep being awesome.  I’m gonna keep on threatening to punch.

Keep being awesome.  I didn’t like the food that they served at lunch.

Rehabbing from exhaustion

So out myself was checked

Gonna keep being awesome.  You know the game’s no fun if you use a full deck.

 

Oh oh ahh!

 

I’m gonna keep being awesome.  Come on give me a list and I’ll give you some songs.

Gonna keep being awesome.  They sent me away, but not for long.

Women, women, women, women, women, women, women treat me bad.

They make me sad, too.

 

Oh ahh ahh!

 

I’m gonna keep being awesome.  I’m gonna keep on punching people in the face.

Went to rehab for exhaustion.  But I checked myself out. Got back in the race.

 

 

Thirsty Killer

 

Treb:  D  A    G

Bass:  D D A A A B  G G G A

What does it cost to be a well dressed flapper?

I hopped on the train and met the ghost of Frank Zappa

Let’s be friend again.  Let’s be friends forever.

Let’s bring the prohibition party back together.

Wash out!

Wash out!

 

Treb:   Em7  A   Bm7

Bass:  E E E   B A B A B A  F# G

You could be better.  You could stifle your laughter.

You could pitch inside and just a-graze that batter.

The thirsty killer is who I am

I walk across the country, followed by a van

 

Treb:  D  A    G

Bass:  D D A A A B  G G G A

Polite! Polite!  Used and abused!

Blug blug blurple!  Look at my shoes!

I don’t get death or why we try

I just like being known as the underwear guy

 

Treb:   Em7  A   Bm7

Bass:  E E E   B A B A B A  F# G

You could be better.  You could stifle your laughter.

You could pitch inside and just a-graze that batter.

The thirsty killer is who I am

I walk across the country, followed by a van

 

Treb:  D  A    G

Bass:  D D A A A B  G G G A

Wash out!   Wash out!

Wash out!   Wash out!

 

Treb:   Em7  A   Bm7

Bass:  E E E   B A B A B A  F# G

Blug blug blurple.  Stifle your laughter

Pitch inside and just a-graze that batter

I’m the thirsty killer!  Polite polite!

I’m coming to your party tonight!End on D

Cuddle Couch

 

E  / / / / / / / / / B7 / / / / A / / / /

My lady and me have had a nice, sweet day

We wanna end it right, and there’s just one way

It’s on my favorite piece of furniture

Wrapped up in a blanket, just me and her

On the cuddle couch  Ooh la la

Just me and my woman, me and my girl

On the cuddle couch  uh huh!

On the cuddle couch baby, the cuddle couch, honey

 

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby on the cuddle couch honey

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby on the cuddle couch honey

 

D / / / / / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

We get our arms and our legs tangled

At precisely the perfect angle

Such a wonderful sensation

Until it cuts off circulation

 

E  / / / / / / / / / B7 / / / / A / / / /

(Organ Solo!)

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby, on the cuddle couch honey

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby, on the cuddle couch honey

 

D / / / / / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

Cuddling is nice.  Cuddling is sweet.

Head to head and feet to feet

It’s cold outside but we make heat

All I need is my woman to feel complete

I love the smell of her hair, I love the feel of her skin

Until I start feeling those needles and pins

But that’s no big deal, it just means that we must

Take a moment to adjust

 

E  / / / / / / / / / B7 / / / / A / / / /

ON THE CUDDLE COUCH!!!!!!

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby, on the cuddle couch honey

I can’t wait to get you on the cuddle couch baby, on the cuddle couch honey

 

 

Rattletrap

G / / / / Bm(add G) / / / / C2 / / / / D / / / /

What a weekend, trying to decide what to eat for dinner

I wish I was a little bit thinner

But, heck, who doesn’t?

Our boy, he wastes his days playing with his friends up on the internet

But, heck, he’s got all As, and he’s a great, great kid.

I guess I can’t complain

Even when I hear the rattle of this rattletrap

Of course, we’ve got our problems, but I’m alright with that.

 

Babe, you’re beautiful.  Think of how far we’ve come in just a year

When I think about it, can’t believe we’re here

No longer working in the factory

Sure, we’ve got our problems.  That’s alright with me

And i kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap

I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap

It’s kinda beautiful

It’s just like everybody and it’s beautiful   I write it down on paper cause it’s beautiful

I send it off to strangers cause it’s beautiful  

And maybe they’ll agree with me it’s beautiful

Maybe send me a stamp

 

No, I can’t complain cause I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap

I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap

I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap

Because it’s beautiful

It’s just like everybody and it’s beautiful

I write it down on paper cause it’s beautiful

I send it off to strangers cause it’s beautiful

And maybe they’ll agree with me it’s beautiful Maybe they’ll agree with me it’s beautiful

Maybe they’ll agree with me it’s beautiful   Maybe they’ll agree with me it’s beautiful

Maybe send me a stamp

 

And I kinda like the rattle of this rattletrap (repeat til end)

 

 

Baby I’m Alone Now

 

E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Baby I’m alone now and I’d rather be with you

A / / / / / / / /        E / / / / / / / /

Baby I’m alone now and I’d rather be with you

D / / / /                       A / / / / D / / / /              A / / / /

Well I walk out on the street        With no shoes on my feet

D / / / /                             A / / / / E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

And I don’t know what to do I need to be with you

 

E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Baby I’ve been watching you with some other man

A / / / / / / / /        E / / / / / / / /

Baby I’ve been watching you with some other man

D / / / /                 A / / / / D / / / /            A / / / /

Well I try to look away            Then I try to pray

D / / / /                             A / / / / E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

But I saw you holding his hand I need to understand

 

E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Baby I know something you will never know

A / / / / / / / /        E / / / / / / / /

Baby I know something you will never know

D / / / /           A / / / / D / / / /                       A / / / /

I will be the one                 who will not up and run

D / / / /                                    A / / / / E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

When the cold wind starts to blow       Why’d you let me go?

 

E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Baby I’m alone now and I’d rather be with you

A / / / / / / / /        E / / / / / / / /

Baby I’m alone now and I’d rather be with you

D / / / /                       A / / / / D / / / /              A / / / /

Well I walk out on the street        With no shoes on my feet

D / / / /                             A / / / / E / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

And I don’t know what to do I need to be with you

 

 

Land of Falling Stars

F / / / /    C / / / / G / / / / / / / /

 

F  / / / /   C / / / /                G / / / / / / / /

No emotions.  No tears to cry.  Only madness and a fear to fly.

The monotony of life is holding me down.  It’s hard to move around this town

Am                        Em  F    G

My legs are sore.  My eyes are blind. My arms are weak.  The sun’s killed my mind

I”ve slipped somewhere.  I’ve driven far. I’m in the land of falling stars

F / / / /    C / / / / G / / / / / / / /

F / / / /            C / / / /   G / / / / / / / /

I’m all alone.  I’m in my bed. Computer’s on.  Nothing’s in my head.

My pen in hand.  Write some words.  To a song I’ve never ever heard

Am                        Em  F    G

My legs are sore.  My eyes are blind. My arms are weak.  The sun’s killed my mind

I”ve slipped somewhere.  I’ve driven far. I’m in the land of falling stars

F / / / /    C / / / / G / / / / / / / /

F / / / /    C / / / / G / / / / / / / /

Am                        Em  F    G

My legs are sore.  My eyes are blind. My arms are weak.  The sun’s killed my mind

I”ve slipped somewhere.  I’ve driven far. I’m in the land of falling stars

End on Am

 

 

Postcards and Memories

intro:

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

 

E                                   A

In the truck stop by the convenient store

I didn’t think my heart would break

I promised you I’d send you a postcard but I never said

G                                    D

I would remember your name

 

E                                    A

I’m a farmhand, baby, don’t forget it

I”m tied to this god-awful land

It’s been six months since I saw the sea I wanna

G                                    D

Feel my toes in the sand

 

E                                   A

And you don’t know how much I wanna be

Wrapped up in your arms along the sea

Quoting Proust and avoiding misery

G                                    D

I’m picking you up at midnight

In my 2-seat Mercedes Benz

Sorry baby but there won’t be any room for none of your friends

 

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

 

E                                   A

In the express lane of the check aisle

I didn’t think my belly would ache

I promised you a life filled with no regrets

G                                    D

I didn’t know how much work that would take

 

 

E                                     A

I’m a war vet baby, don’t forget it

I’ve already bested my foe

It’s been six weeks since you said to me

G                                      D

You’re sorry to see me go

 

E                                   A

And you don’t know how much I wanna be

Wrapped up in your arms along the sea

Quoting Proust and avoiding misery

G                                    D

I’m picking you up at midnight

In my 2-seat Mercedes Benz

Sorry baby but there won’t be any room for none of your friends

 

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /i

E / / / / A / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

END ON:   E

 

 

Red Eye Flight

 

G

Working hard.  I’m tired. But it will not do.

To spend any extra time away from you

D                                            Em

So I’m hopping on a red eye flight

C                                         Em

I’ll get some sleep in the sky

D                                           Em

Hopping on a red eye flight

C                                      D

I’m gonna see you in the sunrise

 

G

If I stay here, I’ll wake up sad tomorr

So I’ll scrounge the money.  I have to beg and borrow.

D                                            Em

So I’m hopping on a red eye flight

C                                         Em

I’ll get some sleep in the sky

D                                           Em

Hopping on a red eye flight

C                                      D

I’m gonna see you in the sunrise

 

G

It hurts when the girl you love the most

Is so far away on the opposite coast

D                                            Em

So I’m hopping on a red eye flight

C                                         Em

I’ll get some sleep in the sky

D                                           Em

Hopping on a red eye flight

C                                      D

I’m gonna see you in the sunrise

 

G

I’m gonna see you in the sunrise!

 

 

WALKING BACK FROM LINCOLN

 

G                              C2 G                     G

Walking back from lincoln on a bed of railroad ties  sitting down to watch the river

G                             C2 G                   G

walking back from lincoln swatting at the flies     trying to make it last forever

 

Am7                                 G/B

And the city lights are still so far away

C                                               G

stay on the tracks no time to rome

Am                                                     G

a hundred miles doesn’t seem so long today

Em     D                        G

these tracks will lead us home

 

G                           C2 G                    G

walking from lincoln our feet are hurting bad    wondering what time is dinner

G                             C2 G                             G

walking back from lincoln the rain’s soaked all we had   home run derby crown a winner

 

Am7                                 G/B

and the city lights are still so far away

C                                                   G

countless miles into the great unknown

Am                                          G

hoping for rest and a better day

 

Em      D                       G

these tracks will lead us home

These tracks will lead us home

These tracks will lead us home

 

 

Running Away From My Problem

 

Am7 / / / / G / / / / Dm7 / / / / C / / / /

Running away from my problems.  I could not solve them.

So I’m gonna move on and try again

Just running away from my problems.  I could not solve them.

Gonna move on and just pretend

 

F / / / / C/E / / / / Dm7 / / / / G / / / /

That I don’t keep on recreating the same old situation

I have no explanation, except that I’m just the worst

And I think it’s pathological

How I keep on doing what I do

Causing things to heat up ‘til they’re about ready to burst

Then I disperse

That’s when I disperse

 

Am7 / / / / G / / / / Dm7 / / / / C / / / /

Running away from my problems.  I could not solve them.

So I’m gonna move on and try again

Just running away from my problems.  I could not solve them.

Gonna move on and just pretend

 

 

The Aliens Built The Pyramids

 

Treb:  play F, Bb, and C whenever any of those notes are on bass

 

                    F F

F F        Eb F F  Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C

 

                    F F

F F        Eb F F   Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C    

        Who built           the pyramids?

Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C C C C C

The aliens the aliens the aliens did

 

         F         F

F F        Eb F F   Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C    

       That’s right.  I agree they did.

Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C C C C C

The aliens built the pyramids.

 

         F         F

F F        Eb F F  Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C

It’s a face that few are able to face

Those aliens were made by a superior race

Who came to earth from outer space

Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C C C C C

And built those giant structures at a very fast pace

 

        F          F

F F        Eb F F   Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C    

        Who built           the pyramids?

Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C

The aliens the aliens the aliens did

 

         F         F

F F        Eb F F  Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb C C C C

It’s so obvious.  Can’t you see?

Human beings were lacking the technology

They could never have built it.  They could never have planned it.

They had to have help from another planet

C C C C C C C C

F

It’s the only logical explanation

 

Don’t Worry

 

A / / / /            D / / / /

Don’t Worry    (Don’t worry)

Don’t worry    (Don’t Worry)

Don’t worry     (Don’t worry)

E

Nothing matters and life is meaningless!

 

A / / / /            D / / / /

Don’t Worry    (Don’t worry)

Don’t worry    (Don’t Worry)

Don’t worry     (Don’t worry)

E

Things are gonna happen, regardless.  And we’re all gonna

 

D / / / /  A / / / / D / / / / A / / / / D / / / / A / / / / E / / / /

Die!           Die! Die!          Die! Die!

D / / / /                     A / / / / D / / / /                         A / / / /

Evereybody knows how it ends.  On a death bed surrounded by friends.  

D / / / /                 A / / / /        E / / / /

Unless you outlive them in which case you’ll be all alone.

 

A / / / /            D / / / /

Don’t Worry    (Don’t worry)

Don’t worry    (Don’t Worry)

Don’t worry     (Don’t worry)

E

LIfe is meaningless and miserable!

 

A / / / /            D / / / /

Don’t Worry    (Don’t worry)

Don’t worry    (Don’t Worry)

Don’t worry     (Don’t worry)

E

Everybody’s lost and confused and waiting to die!

 

D / / / /  A / / / / D / / / / A / / / / D / / / / A / / / / E / / / /

Die!        Die! Die!        Die! Die! And wondering what’s gonna happen after that.

 

So don’t worry about it.

 

Hotwire My Heart

 

Treb:  G / / / /              Am7 / / / /

                    B

Bass: G  D Bb         A E A

 

Baby, you’ve lost the key to my heart

I’m stranded in your driveway and I can’t start

Heading down the highway of anohter love

You were the best compartment for my wayward glove

 

Em7/C

So hotwire my heart

Hotwire my heart

 

Treb:  G / / / /              Am7 / / / /

                    B

Bass: G  D Bb         A E A

I caught your head up under some other man’s hood

Don’t need no mechanic to tell me that ain’t good

So I’m leaving you baby.  But before I’ve departed

Baby Baby Baby Baby come and get me started

 

Em7/C

So hotwire my heart

Hotwire my heart

 

Treb:  G / / / /              Am7 / / / /

                    B

Bass: G  D Bb         A E A

 

Em7/C

 

 

The Bleach Song (I Use Bleach!)

F / / / / C / / / / G / / / / Dm / / / /

 

My whites get dirty.  And I want them to be clean.

Very very very very clean

Do you know what I mean?  (Oh Yeah!)

 

I’m not just talking clean.  I’m talking disinfection.

And, when it comes to that, there’s only one selection.

I use bleach!  I use bleach!

I use bla bla bla bla bla bla lba lba lba bleach bleach bleach bleach

I use bleach!  I use bleach!

I use bla bla bla bla bla bla lba lba lba bleach bleach bleach bleach

 

I was my clothes in bleach.  Hot water, not cool.

And they always come out smelling like a public swimming pool

No organism can survive that sodium hypochlorite

I almost feel bad for them cause it’s not really a fair fight

 

I use bleach!  I use bleach!

I use bla bla bla bla bla bla lba lba lba bleach bleach bleach bleach

 

 

Existential Crisis

 

          Am7 / / Am7/D / /

Bass:  AACA  DDCD

 

I got this existential crisis, got this existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis uh huh oh yeah

I got this existential crisis, got this existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis uh huh oh yeah

Well, I’ve been questioning the very foundation of life

Does it have any meaning or purpose of value?

Existential Crisis, it’s my existential crisis, got this existential crisis, uh huh oh yeah

 

Bm7 / / / / / / / / Cmaj7 / / / / / / / / Bm7 / / / / / / / / Cmaj / / / / D / / / /

Feeling so dissatisfied, misplaced the meaning of life

My sense of reality is shattered

La la la la everything’s the matter

 

          Am7 / / Am7/D / /

Bass:  AACA  DDCD

 

Existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis, it’s this existential crisis, uh huh oh yeah

Existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis, it’s this existential crisis, uh huh oh yeah

I saw behind the curtain

And now I’m uncertain

If there’s any reason

Need acetaminophen

Existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis, it’s this existential crisis, uh huh oh yeah

Existential crisis, it’s my existential crisis, it’s this existential crisis, uh huh oh yeah

Well, I’m in need of a brand new and accurate world view

Not just a distraction that puts me in action

 

Bm7 / / / / / / / / Cmaj7 / / / / / / / / Bm7 / / / / / / / / Cmaj / / / / D / / / /

Feeling so dissatisfied, misplaced the meaning of life

My sense of reality is shattered

La la la la everything’s the matter

 

 

Symphony Sid

 

D / /    G / / A / /  G / /

 

Symphony Sid, I won’t let you treat me this way

Symphony Sid, I’m not gonna take it.  Not today

Symphony Sid, I’m only coming back for my pencil

 

You stand before your crowd and you tell us what to do

So selfish and so proud about what your neighbors do

You don’t know love when it’s right before you

Get out of my life, sid, I implore you

 

Symphony Sid, I won’t let you treat me this way

Symphony Sid, I’m not gonna take it.  Not today

Symphony Sid, I’m only coming back for my pencil

 

Can’t hold a love fest when we’re in your presence

Hold the door once again, no circumstance

We know your rules

But I won’t take it!

 

Symphony Sid, I won’t let you treat me this way

Symphony Sid, I’m not gonna take it.  Not today

Symphony Sid, I’m only coming back for my pencil

 

 

Antarctic Rages

 

G

S T U P I D is how I spell pop-psychology

I incinerated that book you gave me the other night

Employing strict Babylonian funereal rights

C

And I don’t know what you’re looking for.  But you’re not gonna find it in Darfur.

Or on these pages

G

D           

Because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

C                                                             G

Is all you’re ever gonna find on these pages

 

G

Antarctic rages midst the Weddle Sea / Is the best you’re ever gonna get from me

I remember the time when I was 8 or 9

My mama was pancked on the telephone line

C

And the doctor opined that it was best to ram that needle through my chest.

G

D           

And the adrenaline coursed through my veins and I was

C                                                             G

Never never never never never never ever the same (ain’t no chapter on that baby)

 

Am

And I believe there is a job for me, maybe it’s out in Tennessee

G / / / / / / / /                                              D / / / / / / / /

But I don’t live there, and i don’t feel like moving

Am

And you think you’re gonna find yourself.  But honey you’re not up on that shelf.

G / / / / / / / /                                              D / / / / / / / /

There’s no changing.  And certainly no improving.

 

 

G

You got me feeling like I’m in a cage when you tell me how to act my age.

If you had half as much adrenaline as me

You’d recognize the virtues of anarchy

C

And just like Jimmy Boswell probably said, if your heart’s not thumping you’re probably dead

G

D           

And if the line stays flat don’t let ‘em quit

C                                                                      G

It’s probably just another one of my cataleptic fits   (I’m prone to them...I’m prone to them)

 

Am

And I believe there is a job for me, maybe it’s out in Tennessee

G / / / / / / / /                                              D / / / / / / / /

But I don’t live there, and i don’t feel like moving

Am

And you think you’re gonna find yourself.  But honey you’re not up on that shelf.

G / / / / / / / /                                              D / / / / / / / /

There’s no changing.  And certainly no improving.

 

G

I read the Secret of the Killer Mountain Inn and was astounded by the sound advice within

If your luck holds up you won’t get too far

You won’t fall asleep in a dead-end bar

C

Meet me at the river by the power plant with the inner tube that you got from your uncle’s aunt

G

D          C

And the water’s warm though the air is cold and we can float float flot

D                                                                            C

We don’t have to die before we get old we can just float float float   

                               G

Float away into the sea of anarachy

 

 

I Wanna Run Away

A2maj7 / / / / D / / / /

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

Until there’s nothing around me but the ocean and the sky

Until there’s nothing around me but the ocean and the sky

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

Piano Solo

 

I just wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right

 

Until there’s nothing around me but the ocean and sky and sand

Until there’s nothing around me bu the ocean and sky and sand

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

 

I wanna run away

I just wanna run away

I wanna run away right now

Right now

Dig In!

A         Asus4 Asus2  A

Bass:  AAAAAAAA  C#DEDC#AA

I’ll be so emotional that you’ll just wanna puke

And you’re so cute, so confident, so unfamiliar too

I coulda sworn I knew you years ago at the carnival by the tracks

Remember Dunk The Clown, rotten teeth, and undercooked flapjacks?

 

C#m7                           F#m7 D       A

When you were stuck at 2am, I wish you woulda called

I’d have been there in an instant, we coulda rented Annie Hall

And I’d be your Woody Allen with my witty, subtle quips

And you’d be my Diane Keaton til you gave me the slip

 

A          Asus4    Asus2 A

And I’d search and search forever for my flighty, flawless lass

I’d drive to California, despite the price of gas

You haunt me and deceive me and relieve my aching soul

You implant in me false memories with a jar that holds a troll

 

C#m7                       F#m7 D        A

If you were in an accident, a fire or raging flood

I’d save you from the wreckage and I’d share my Type A blood

Let’s go swinging on a rope in your 2-piece by the river

I know the water’s cold, babe, but I’m here in case you shiver

 

A             Asus4    Asus2 A

And you can’t hide your broken heart

Listen to the sparrow’s art

When you’re, when you’re, when you’re out of doors

Lonely engine puffing steam

Everybody has a dream

Baby baby baby baby baby can I be in yours?

 

 

Slanted Sun in Exeter, NH

 

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

The slanted sun, it rests upon

The windy river that’s flowing on

And on and on until it hits the sea

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

 

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

A train’s horn, through the city, blows

Scaring away the geese and crows

And bouncing through the halls of the factory

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

 

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

An old man sits to ease the gout

A young girl opts to go without

The tattered kite that’s lodged up in a tree

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

 

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

 

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

 

Dmaj7 / / / / / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

The slanted sun, it rests upon

The windy river that’s flowing on

And on and on until it hits the sea

Fmaj7 / / / / G / / / / Amaj7 / / / / / / / /

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

Drop your cares and troubles and go there with me

 

Hold On To What We’ve Got

A / / / / E / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

 

Baby, sweet baby, we’re the salt of the earth

They say that we ain’t even worth

Nothing, baby.  And what we’ve got

Is all in the way of this parking lot.

 

So won’t you pack up your suitcase?  They’re throwing us out

Fire up the T-Bird hot

The settlement’s a scam.  I know what that’s about

Hold on tight, babe to what you’ve got

 

PA’s passing our lone headling.  

We’ll cross the border, maybe, tonight

If the gas holds up it’ll be alright

Gotta wash some dishes if you wanna get a bite

 

So won’t you pack up your suitcase?  They’re throwing us out

Fire up the T-Bird hot

The settlement’s a scam.  I know what that’s about

Hold on tight, babe to what we’ve got

 

We’re gonna see Lake Michigan if all goes well

My buddy tells me they got crabs to sell

But the transmission’s shaky and the oil’s low

We gotta keep going cause there’s no place else to go

 

So won’t you pack up your suitcase?  They’re throwing us out

Fire up the T-Bird hot

The settlement’s a scam.  I know what that’s about

Hold on tight, babe to what we’ve got

 

So won’t you pack up your suitcase?  They’re throwing us out

Fire up the T-Bird hot

The settlement’s a scam.  I know what that’s about

Hold on tight, babe to what you’ve got…

 

 

Tin Roof Tap Dance

 

G / / / / G/F# / / / / G/E / / / / G/C / / / /

Love doesn’t sparkle when the sun is bright

It’s made for rainy days, it’s made for foggy nights

Backyard porches and burned-out Fords

Out-of-tune Fenders playing jangly chords

Em / / / / D / / / / C / / / / / / / /

I know I promised that I’d take you to France

Em / / / / G / / / / C / / / / / / / /

But in the meantime, listen to this Tin Roof Tap Dance

 

G / / / / G/F# / / / / G/E / / / / G/C / / / /

The air is still but the western skies

Are gonna turn our lows back into highs

When the lights go out and we come in

There’ll be nothing but the sounds of the drops on tin

Em / / / / D / / / / C / / / / / / / /

Give Mother Nature a nice big glance

Em / / / / G / / / / C / / / / / / / /

And listen up close to this Tin Roof Tap Dance

 

G / / / / G/F# / / / / G/E / / / / G/C / / / /

You got your dreams, babe, and that’s just fine

Go ahead and dream, babe, but take your time

You got white sand and a castle in Spain

I got you and me and the sound of the rain

Em / / / / D / / / / C / / / / / / / /

Make a little time for sweet romance

Em / / / / G / / / / C / / / / / / / /

And listen up close, baby, to this Tin Roof Tap Dance

 

G / / / / G/F# / / / / G/E / / / / G/C / / / /

 

 

I Wanna See You With Your Boots Back On

 

A6 / / A / /

NYC is too far from me     You ought not be in that big city

C13

I wanna see you with your boots back on!

A6 / / A / /

La la lo, I can’t sleep for sorrow        La la le, perhaps you’ll come back tomorrow

C13

I wanna see you with your boots back on!

A6 / / A / /

 

F#m / / / / F / / / /                          A6 / / A / / A6 / / A / /

I miss you baby so bad it hurts.  You gotta come back to the outskirts

I miss you baby so bad it hurts.  Come back home to the outskirts

 

A6 / / A / /

Last time, I sat, head in hand        All my tender loving not in demand

C13

I wanna see you with your boots back on!

A6 / / A / /

La la lo, you came back then        La la le, you’re gonna come back again

C13

I wanna see you with your boots back on!

A6 / / A / /

 

F#m / / / / F / / / /                          A6 / / A / / A6 / / A / /

I miss you baby so bad it hurts.  You gotta come back to the outskirts

I miss you baby so bad it hurts.  Come back home to the outskirts

 

A6 / / A / / A6 / / A / /

I wanna see you with your boots back on

I wanna see you with your boots back on

Boots back on...boots back on…

C 13

A6 / / A / / A6 / / A / /

 

 

Dartmouth Girl

 

A / / F#m / / B7 / / E7 / /

She’s my Dartmouth Girl, I’ve been around this great big world

And I’ve never seen a girl like her

I’ve been looking for a girl all my life and she knocked on my door

Knocked on my door

She’s my Dartmouth Girl and she comes from Seattle

She’s a senior at Dartmouth and she’s taking a survey

And she knocked on my knocked on my knocked on my door

And she said, “Would you like to fill out this survey?”

I was like, “Hey, pretty Dartmouth Girl, I’ll do anything for you.

I’ll do anything for you you you any any anything for you

I’d do anything for you.”

 

So I filled out the survey and I talked to her

And I fell in love with the Dartmouth Girl

Even though she’s from Seattle, when New England secedes from the union

Dartmouth Girl can stay right here, she can stay right here

She can stay right

If she has to go back to Seattle

To visit her mom and her dad and her brother

Well, that’s ok.  We can just get her a green car, or whatever.

 

She’s my Dartmouth Girl. I’ve been all around the world

But I didn’t even have to leave my apartment

Cause she knocked on my door, she knocked on my door

And I’m never ever ever gonna be the same

She’s my Dartmouth Girl, A A A A

Dartmouth Girl, O O O o o

Dartmouth Girl, A A a A A A A A plus

 

 

Let’s Open a Deli

 

Cmaj7 / / Em7 / / F / / / / Dm7 / / Am7 / / G / / / /

Let’s get out on that open road before you dangerously repressed emotions

Erupt in a torrent of furious anger...in a torrent of furious anger

Nine-to-five is breaking up the man in me

Oh, pretty baby, that’s not how you need me to be

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

 

We can make our own bread.  We can make our own time

Not taking any numbers.  Not waiting there in line.

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

 

D7 / / / Eb7 / E7 / / / Eb7 /

 

Cmaj7 / / Em7 / / F / / / / Dm7 / / Am7 / / G / / / /

Gretchen started preaching all about Thomas Aquinas

In the coronation dinner, she was dubbed the finest

She’s a blackjack dealer, she’s a bottle of hope

She’s got a good head for numbers and a good mouth for soap

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

Gotta find me a little hole in the wall

 

D7 / / / Eb7 / E7 / / / Eb7 /

Repeat several times.  End on E7

 

 

Swimming at the Lake

D  Eb E

 

A / / / / /     D / /    A / / D / / / / / /                                       A / /

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

            D / / / / / /                                       A / / D / / / /  D / Eb / E

We go swimming at the lake next Saturday? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday

 

A / / / / /                           D / / A / / D / / / / / /                                      A / /

Too much working in the factory.                Jerkface foreman’s lashing out at me

He’d be mad if’n’          he could see Sitting by the lake is where I’ll be

  D / / / / / /                           A / / D / / / /       D / Eb / E

I called in sick and I feel so free           I called in sick and I feel so free!

 

A / / / / /     D / /    A / / D / / / / / /                                       A / /

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

            D / / / / / /                                       A / / D / / / /  D / Eb / E

We go swimming at the lake next Saturday? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday

 

E2 / / / / / / / /                                          A2 / / / / / / / /

By the lake, it’s never bad because it’s me and you

No jerkface foreman telling me what I’ve got to do

You look so pretty when you’re dressed in nought but your 2-piece suit

I packed a picnic basket with a sandwich and some tasty fruit

D / / / / C / / / / A2 / / / /

By the lake

By the lake

 

A / / / / /     D / /    A / / D / / / / / /                                       A / /

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

            D / / / / / /                                       A / / D / / / /  D / Eb / E

We go swimming at the lake next Saturday? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday

 

A / / / / /     D / /    A / / D / / / / / /                                       A / /

Suntan lotion and your 2-piece suit.  You won’t get burned but you still look cute

Before I missed a day on the lake with you.  I’d rather just languish in an alien zoo

            D / / / / / /                               A / / D / / / /          D / Eb / E

Or be eaten by a puma on the hills of peru. Or learn I’ve been demoted to the nightcrew.

 

A / / / / /     D / /    A / / D / / / / / /                                       A / /

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

Hey Hey   What do you say? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday?

            D / / / / / /                                       A / / D / / / /  D / Eb / E

We go swimming at the lake next Saturday? We go swimming at the lake next Saturday

 

 

The Aliens Spare Earth For Now

Bbmaj7 / / / / Am7 / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / / / / /

Bbmaj7 / / / / Am7 / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / / / / /

 

Am7 / / / /  Am7b5/D / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / Em7 / / / /

You can’t hide your broken heart / listen to the sparrow’s art

When you’re out of doors

Lonely engine puffing steam/ everybody has a dream

Can I be in yours?

I count to 3, you count to 4, I count to 5, you wall out the door

I guess you don’t want to be counting with me anymore

Now’s the time for the bold and the brash to get the middle class to donate their cash

I fight for onions.  I fight for joy. I sit in the corner.  I’m a naughty boy.

Lousy stinking platitudes.  Time to adjust your attitude.

You think you’re such a hip cat, dude.  Well, I hate to be rude. I hate to be rude

But you’ll never be as great as Steely Dan

And you’ll never make an album as great as Ram

And neither will I.

You can’t hide your broken heart / listen to the sparrow’s art

When you’re out of doors

Lonely engine puffing steam/ everybody has a dream

Can I be in yours?

Bbmaj7 / / / / Am7 / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / / / / /

Bbmaj7 / / / / Am7 / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / / / / /

 

Am7 / / / /  Am7b5/D / / / / Gmaj7 / / / / Em7 / / / /

And when the sun goes down, it’s gonna come back around

And we’ll find another planet.  And we’ll put a nice big old crown

On the head of the guy who found it.  And we’ll wrap a nice bow around it.

As an offering for the aliens.  And they’ll take it for what it’s worth

Yes, the aliens will take it for what it’s worth

And, for at least a while longer, they’ll spare the earth

You can’t hide your broken heart / listen to the sparrow’s art

When you’re out of doors

Lonely engine puffing steam/ everybody has a dream

Can I be in yours?

Repeat Refrain

 

 

Nebraska Plain

 

E / / C / / D / / C / /

Stuck here in the Nebraska Plain

Got a ‘55 Chevy and a walking cane

I went to the bar and you served me a drink

I slipped you a dollar and you slipped me a wink

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

 

Well, you got two kids and you’re 37

But that don’t mean you can’t bring me to heaven

I bought Joe drums and Suzie a bike

And I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope they like me

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

 

G

Well, I had big plans to go to LA, to be a big star, and to make it some day

Em

Though Boswell might not agree with me, I’d rather have love and stability

G

I the Battle of the Bulge I lost one arm.  But that don’t mean I can’t work a farm

Em

Soon, babe, we’ll be sitting pretty.  We don’t need no gosh darn city

 

E / / C / / D / / C / /

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

I said Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey

The Nebraska Plain is just OK

 

 

Sandy’s Photo

 

E / / / / A / / / / F#m / / / / B7 / / / /

 

Sandy, if I could have you look at me that way forever and a day

I know that’s a cliche for me to say,

But, hey, I wouldn’t mind if I were to find that I had a Polaroid

I could look at it whenever I was annoyed

But there was no camera when the moment transpired

And maybe that’s better cause I find I’m inspired

By the d-d-d-desire to remember how you looked at me that night

So tired, slightly displeased, a little bit ill-at-ease

But mostly smitten.  Or so that’s how it’s written by me

You were mostly smitten.  You were mostly smitten.

 

Sandy, I’d keep that photo handy.  It’d be like candy. It’d be so fine and dandy

But I’ve gotta get over it.  There’s no photo

There’s no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no photo

 

Sandy, if I could have you look at me that way forever and a day

I know that’s a cliche for me to say,

But, hey, I wouldn’t mind if I were to find that I had a Polaroid

I could look at it whenever I was annoyed

But there was no camera when the moment transpired

And maybe that’s better cause I find I’m inspired

By the d-d-d-desire to remember how you looked at me that night

So tired, slightly displeased, a little bit ill-at-ease

But mostly smitten.  Or so that’s how it’s written by me

You were mostly smitten.  You were mostly smitten.

 

 

Library

 

E7 / / / / A7 / / / /

 

Went to the library

They said they had some files on me

 

 

 

Hit on the head when he was 12 years old

Doesn’t know if it happened to him or to somebody else!

 

Went to the library

They said they had some files on me

 

Went to the library

They said they had some files on me

 

Gonna kick me out of the country.

 

Ooooh    oooooh

 

Went to the library

They said they had some files on me

 

It’s my life!

It’s my life!

 

 

Never Stop Being Amazed By Life

 

F                         C/E Gm7

I’m never gonna stop being amazed

Am7                                Bb C

By every little thing that comes along the way

The sun has come up for another day

Let’s get outside and appreciate its rays     Db

 

Dm               C

Time will continue to

Bb                F/A

just fly right by for you

Gm7                          F C Db

if you believe you’ve seen it all before

It’s unwise to neglect

the things that you expect

you know miracles are right outside your door

 

And I’m never gonna stop being amazed

By every little thing that comes along the way

The sun has come up for another day

Let’s get outside and appreciate its rays

 

My best friends are not dead

They met me for this show just like they said

I’ve known them since school

I think that’s pretty cool

And most everyone I’ve ever known

Would welcome me into their home

I think that’s pretty great

And I’d reciprocate

 

And I’m never gonna stop being amazed

By every little thing that comes along the way

The moon has come up for another night

Let’s get outside and bask within its light

 

 

Shorts Too High

AG#   A / / / / G#

Treb:  E / / / / E   / / / / E / / / / E / / / /

 

Bass: A / / / / G# / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

 

I hit the shot in the basketball game at Parochial School when I was in 8th grade

Unguarded down court  that’s where I was

four ticks of the clock before the buzzer buzzed

Mike launched the ball to the top of the key

Tom caught it like Laetner, then he passed it to me

And I laid it right in.  The crowd stood and cheered

It was the highlight, for sure, of my athletic career

 

F#m7 / / / /  C#m7 / / / / D / / / /  E / / / /

And some later went on about how Mr. Benton

Operating the clock might have stretched out those seconds

If we’d have been away the time might have been short

But we weren’t away, we were at our home court

 

AG#   A / / / / G#

Treb:  E / / / / E   / / / / E / / / / E / / / /

 

Bass: A / / / / G# / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

High fives from my teammates.  “Well done,” said the coach.

Then I double-taked as I watched her approach

A lovely cheerleader.  Could this really be?

She touched my arm as she whispered to me

 

F#m7 / / / /  C#m7 / / / / D / / / /  E / / / /

“Matt, I think your shorts are pulled up too high

I’m embarrassed for you.  And you’re such a nice guy

I’m happy that you made the shot for the win

But you also look dorky with your shirt tucked in

 

 

AG#   A / / / / G#

Treb:  E / / / / E   / / / / E / / / / E / / / /

 

Bass: A / / / / G# / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

 

And away she went.  The message was sent

I had a Superman moment but she still saw Clark Kent

25 years later, things have turned out alright

I still wear my shorts high with my shirt tucked in tight

Defiantly.

Sorry, cheerleader girl, this is my look

I’m still growing into it.

 

 

Pretty State Trooper

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /  Am7 / / / / F / / / / Am7 / / / / F / / / /

Pretty State Trooper, Please won’t you stop me? Please won’t you stop me?

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /                      Dm7 / / C/E / / F / / / /

I’ve been driving around in laps        By all your favorite speed traps

 

Am7 / / / / F / / / /                            Am7 / / / / F / / / /

So please won’t you stop me?       Please won’t you stop me?

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /                      Dm7 / / C/E / / F / / / /

I’ve been going so fast,                 Hoping I might zoom past you

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /                      Dm7 / / C/E / / F / / / /

With your Radar Gun                    I know that you are the one

 

Am7 / / / / F / / / /                    

And I’ve been wishing on a four leaf clover that you would pull me over

And I’ve been wishing on a four leaf clover that you would pull me over

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /  

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /  Am7 / / / / F / / / / Am7 / / / / F / / / /

Pretty State Trooper, Please won’t you stop me? Please won’t you stop me?

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /  Am7 / / / / F / / / / Am7 / / / / F / / / /

Pretty State Trooper, Please won’t you stop me? Please won’t you stop me?

 

Dm7 / /  C/E / / F / / / /

 

 

Used To Be a Pizza Hut

 

G/D / / D / / G/D / / D / / Cmaj7 / / / / / / / /

 

It used to be a pizza hut

It used to be a pizza hut

It’s not a pizza hut anymore.  But to me it still is

 

used to be a pizza hut

Used to be a pizza hut

Someone else moved in and is doing something else now

 

It will always be a pizza hut

It will always be a pizza hut

I don’t care what you’re trying to sell me

 

It will always be a pizza hut

It will always be a pizza hut

It used to be a pizza hut

It used to be a pizza hut

It’ll always be a pizza hut

It’ll always be a pizza hut

I don’t care what you are trying to sell me

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

It used to be a pizza hut

I cannot take it seriously

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Cause it used to be a pizza hut

And it still looks like a pizza hut

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

It used to be a pizza hut

It’ll always be a pizza hut

It used to be a pizza hut

It’ll always be a pizza hut

 

 

Heard She Got Married

 

G   G4 G  Am7(minus-5)/G

Heard she got married and the baby she carried came out beautiful and bright

And she forgot all about that night, way back when we might

G/C  C G7(no B) C

Have started something.  It wasn’t nothing

G   G4 G  Am7(minus-5)/G

She’s the best woman on the planet.  I might have had a shot but I took it for granted

G/C  C G7(no B) C

Could have started something.  It wasn’t nothing

F  Fmaj7  F6 F D

La la la la la la la la      Heard she got married heard she got married

La la la la la la la la      Heard she got married heard she got married

 

G   G4 G  Am7(minus-5)/G

I probably spent way too much time waiting and I’m probably overestimating

Cause she’s had connections.  She’s had fun. But me, I’ve only had this one

G/C  C G7(no B) C

Could have started something.  It wasn’t nothing

G   G4 G  Am7(minus-5)/G

She’s the woman that I chose but when the moment came I just froze

G/C  C G7(no B) C

Could have started something.  It wasn’t nothing

F  Fmaj7  F6 F D

La la la la la la la la      Heard she got married heard she got married

La la la la la la la la      Heard she got married heard she got married

 

Am7 / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / /

Why doesn’t anybody listen to me?  Why doesn’t anybody listen to me?

Why doesn’t anybody ever include me, oh!

 

F / / / / / / / / C/E / / / / / / / / Am7 / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / /

Oh my oh my oh my lord

Take a look at this vision board

I pray to it every night

Still nothing ever comes out right

 

 

Suburban Crossroads

 

F / / / C / Gm7 / / / F/A / Bb / / / F/ C / / / /

 

Mermaid Lady at Waterfire

Following through on her desire

Most agreed, she’d be better off retired

 

And it got me thinking that some are wishing

Maybe I should reel in my ambition

Embarrassed for me, and my failing mission

 

But, man oh man, I’m gonna be so inspired

If I keep on pushing even though I’m tired

Didn’t get the gig.  Somebody else was hired.

 

The tougher they act, the sadder they are

Jealous cause they know I’m gonna be a star

Meanwhile, I can’t afford to fix my car

 

Smokehouse, folkhouse, mechanized death

You die in the end with nothing left

No one will ever agree on who was best

 

Bb / / / / F/A / / / / Dm7 / / / / C / / / /

Suburban Crossroads is a place where ladies go shopping on Labor Day

Ain’t no devil there to make me pay with my soul so I can play

Suburban Crossroads is a place where ladies go shopping on Labor Day

Ain’t no devil there to make me pay with my soul so I can play

Gm7 / / / Gm7/Bb / C / / Bb / F/A / F / / / /

                                  But I’m gonna play anyway

 

 

I Just Pretend to Wash My Hands

G / / / / C / / D / /

I poop and I pee and when I’m done

I turn the faucet on and let the water run

I count to five.  I count to ten.

I never wash my hands.  I just pretend.

 

Any human being with decency

Completely disagrees with me

About my love of fecal matter

And the liquid that flows out of my bladder

 

Am / / / / D / / / /

Trace amounts wind up on my arm

That aren’t gonna cause anybody harm

But somehow, some people still feel alarmed

G / / / / C / / D / /

Em / / / / / / / / D / / / / / / / /

Let the water run.  Give it a try.

Then look at a towel.  And just pretend to dry.

 

G / / / / C / / D / /

When you get out, the only way to know you’ve pulled off this fake

Is to extend your hand and to offer a shake

Watch close and see if they hesitate

If they don’t, it means your technique was great

 

Am / / / / D / / / /

There’s way too much germ phobia

Especially for germs that come out of ya

They didn’t hurt me when they were inside

If they end up on my hand, I’m gonna wear them with pride

 

Em / / / / / / / / D / / / / / / / /

Let the water run.  Give it a try.

Then look at a towel.  And just pretend to dry.

 

 

G / / / / C / / D / /

Common people aren’t so enlightened

If they think you don’t wash, then they’ll be frightened

So, trust me, just go through the motions

You don’t want to cause commotion

 

So poop and pee and when You’re done

Turn the faucet on and let the water run

Count to five.  Count to ten.

never wash your hands again.  just pretend.

 

 

Music In My Headphones

 

G / / Am7 / D / Cmaj7 / / / /

Music in my headphone give a soundtrack to my life

As I go by and I smile and I wave

If I could only let them hear the lovely music in my  headphones

It’s like I’m in a movie and the soundtrack adds emotion

 

D / / Em7 / / Bm7 / / Cmaj7 / / G / /

And I’m holding back the tears cause the music in my headphone

Make me feel like I’m not alone as I walk down the streets

At night or in the day, it doesn’t matter

Because I have got my

A

Music in my headphones, got my headphones

 

G / / Am7 / D / Cmaj7 / / / /

And I’m goosebumps and I’m tears

It sounds so crisp and clear

In my ears as I pass by and I wave and I wonder

How can anybody stand the sound of the world

Or the silence of the nature or the noise of the machine

 

D / / Em7 / / Bm7 / / Cmaj7 / / G / /

And I dream that I am taking flight overnight

But I don’t mind, that’s right

Cause I got music in my headphones

 

 

Who Put Coffee in my Mountain Dew?

 

G / / / / D / / / / C / / / / D / / / /

She swore she’d never drink soda again

But then, what’d she go and do?

She bought herself a bottle of Mt. Dew

And she said:

 

G / / C / / D / / G / /

I like coffee, I like tea

I love you and you love me

But who put coffee in my mountain dew?

I have a feeling that it was you

You can’t run and I can’t hide

Bring me to the other side

I feel empty and I need it quick

This mountain dew and coffee is making me sick

 

G / / / / D / / / / C / / / / D / / / /

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

It used to be yellow now it’s navy blue

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

 

G / / / / D / / / / C / / / / D / / / /

It’s true that he was guilty of this heinous crime

But his intentions were good, so let’s listen to his rhyme

And he said…

 

G / / C / / D / / G / /

I know better, so listen to me

Soda will give you the Osteo-P

Throw it away.  Don’t even drink a little

Cause if you don’t, years from now, your bones will be brittle

 

Perhaps it was wrong for me to ruin your drink

But i just really wanted to make you think

Years from now, when you’re in good health

You’ll thank me for helping you take care of yourself

 

G / / / / D / / / / C / / / / D / / / /

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

It used to be yellow now it’s navy blue

Who put coffee in my mountain dew?

 

You put coffee in my mountain dew?

You put coffee in my mountain dew?

It used to be yellow now it’s navy blue

You put coffee in my mountain dew?
 

You put coffee in my mountain dew?

You put coffee in my mountain dew?

It used to be yellow now it’s navy blue

You put coffee in my mountain dew?

 

 

Filet Mignon

C / / / / F / / C / /

C / / / / G / / C / /

My filet mignon is a little overdone,

but I’m gonna eat it eat it anyway

The chef is new, I don’t know what to do,

somebody please tell me what to say

 

I’ve been coming here for such a long long time

& I like to have my steak a certain way

With a special sauce, and something on the side,

and a nice clean napkin on my tray

 

F / G / C / G / F / G / C / / /

F / G / C / G / F / G / C / / G / / / /

Should I send it back?       Will the waiter attack?

Will the chef spit in my food this day?

Should I send it back?       Will the waiter attack?

Will the chef spit in my food this day?

 

C / / / / F / / C / /

C / / / / G / / C / /

My filet mignon is a little overdone,

but I’m gonna eat it eat it anyway

The chef is new, I don’t know what to do,

somebody please tell me what to say

 

I’ve been coming here for such a long long time

& I like to have my steak a certain way

With a special sauce, and something on the side,

and a nice clean napkin on my tray

 

F / G / C / G / F / G / C / / /             F / G / C / G / F / G / C / / G / / / /

Should I send it back?      Will the waiter attack?

Will the chef spit in my food this day?

Should I send it back?       Will the waiter attack?

Will the chef spit in my food this day?

 

 

Franks ‘n’ Beans

E / / / / A / / E / / / / / / / /

Franks and beans, oh franks and beans

Can’t get enough of those franks and beans

I eat ‘em all day and I eat ‘em all night

Eat ‘em so much, it gives me a fright

A / / / / E / / A / / / /

Franks and beans, oh franks and beans

E / / / / A / / E / / / / / / / /

Can’t get enough of those franks and beans

Walk the desert, swim the ocean blue

So I can say hello to you

Been a long long time since I seen your face

But it’s time that I get out of this place

She said, “It’s been four months, this place is so serene”

But it wouldn’t take the place of my franks and beans

A / / / / E / / A / / / /

Franks and beans, oh franks and beans

E / / / / A / / E / / / / / / / /

Can’t get enough of those franks and beans

Eat ‘em all day and I eat ‘em all night

Eat ‘em so much it gives me a fright.

If I can’t eat ‘em now, well I just might pop

And on the floor I could very well drop

Got a smile on my face and a spoonful in my mouth

Serve me all you want, I can eat ‘em myself

A / / / / E / / A / / / /

Franks and beans, oh franks and beans

E / / / / A / / E / / / / / / / /

Can’t get enough of those franks and beans

You don’to nkow what happiness means

Til you’ve had a plate of those franks and beans

On my gravestone, they’ll write, “he stayed so lean”

It musta been eating all those franks and beans

It musta been eating all those franks and beans

 

 

The River Mud Shuffle

 

Bass:  F Bb B C Eb    F Bb B C Eb C Eb

 

It’s time to put your clean clothes in a duffle

Cause we’re gonna get dirty with the River Mud Shuffle

You don’t need no sugar cubes or chocolate truffle

Cause there ain’t nothing sweeter than the River Mud Shuffle

 

Bb / / / / Eb / / / /

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

 

Bass:  F Bb B C Eb    F Bb B C Eb C Eb

I’m only gonna say this once, then I’m shutting my lips

You wave your hands in the air, then you shake your hips

Point left, point right, then smile at a friend

You spin all around, then you do it again

 

Bb / / / / Eb / / / /

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

 

Bass:  F Bb B C Eb    F Bb B C Eb C Eb

Oh no.  It’s the river mud quicksand     Oh no. It’s the river mud quicksand

Get low.  It’s the river mud quicksand.   Get low it’s the river mud quicksand

Reach out Reach out for somebody’s hand. Reach out Reach out for somebody’s hand.

 

Bb / / / / Eb / / / /

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

 

Bass:  F Bb B C Eb    F Bb B C Eb C Eb

Looking good out there!  Now let’s do it two times in a row.

 

 

Bb / / / / Eb / / / /

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

We’re all having fun doing the River Mud Shuffle

 

Bass:  F Bb B C Eb    F Bb B C Eb C Eb

The river mud shuffle.

It’s the river mud shuffle!

 

 

Double Agents Are Deceptive

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb G Bb

 

I thought that he was working for me

But he was really working for you

I’ve been duped.  I’ve been duped

I know know know know know that’s it’s true

 

It only goes to show that you can never trust

The man that you hired to lie

Because, you know, you know

He will do what he must do to get by

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb Bb Bb Bb  Bb

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb G Bb

 

I thought that he was one of mine

But he was really one of yours

And now I think we’re gonna lose

One or two of the next wars

 

It only goes to show that you can never trust

The man that you hired to lie

Because, you know, you know

He will do what he must do to get by

 

You never know.  Never know. Never know.  Know know know……..

 

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb Bb Bb Bb  Bb

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb G Bb

 

I thought that he was working for me

But he was really working for you

I’ve been duped.  I’ve been duped

I know know know know know that’s it’s true

 

It only goes to show that you can never trust

The man that you hired to lie

Because, you know, you know

He will do what he must do to get by

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb G Bb

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb Bb Bb Bb  Bb

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb G Bb

 

Treb:    Cmaj7 Bbmaj7

C

Bass:  C G    Bb Bb Bb Bb  Bb

 

 

My Goldfish Dead

 

C C B Bb Bb G G G Bb Bb B (repeat over and over)

 

I called my goldfish

He no responded

My goldfish dead
I”m quite despondent

 

I called my goldfish

He didn’t make any sound

I had to flush him down the toilet

Spinning round and round

 

Bye bye goldfish

So long goldfish

 

Do you know how it is to like a goldfish?

Do you know how it is to la la la la love a goldfish?

 

I called my goldfish

But he didn’t respond to me because he’s dead

 

 

Busted Rocket of Doom #2

 

G

Take a ride on my busted Rocket of Doom #2 #2 #2

CG

Come on and take a ride on my busted Rocket of doom       #2 #2 #2

DCGD

Come on and take a ride on my busted rocket of doom      #2 #2 #2

 

G

Take a ride on my busted Rocket of Doom #2 #2 #2

CG

Come on and take a ride on my busted Rocket of doom       #2 #2 #2

DCGD

Come on and take a ride on my busted rocket of doom      #2 #2 #2

 

G                 G             G       G7

Rocket #1, it wasn’t any fun, it busted up in space and now it’s all done

CG

Come on and take a ride on my busted Rocket of doom       #2 #2 #2

DCGD

Come on and take a ride on my busted rocket of doom      #2 #2 #2

 

G                 G      

They say that #2 is rusted and it can’t be trusted

      G                               G7

but I’ll ride it to my doom even though it’s kinda busted

CG

Come on and take a ride on my busted Rocket of doom       #2 #2 #2

DCGD

Come on and take a ride on my busted rocket of doom      #2 #2 #2

 

 

Grey Sleep

 

Treb:    E / / / /    A / / / /

Bass:  E E E E   A A A B A

Get out of work.  Go to a new town.

Leave no identifiable objects that might be found

Pick a stranger.  Punch him in the face.

Then get back home without any trace.

 

Treb:  D / / / /      G / / / /    D / / / / G / / / /         D / / / / G / / / / A / / / / / / / /

Bass:  D D D D G G G A G    D D D D G G G A G D D D D G G G A G  A

Grey sleep Grey sleep, hey hey hey

What you doing on Saturday?

Grey Sleep Grey sleep look at me

I’m gonna punch you in your face

 

Treb:    E / / / /    A / / / /

Bass:  E E E E   A A A B A

Perfectly legal and it makes good sense

You can wow everybody with your grey sleep defence

Tell them your brain was not defragmented

And that’s why that poor guy’s face had to be dented

 

Treb:  D / / / /      G / / / /    D / / / / G / / / /         D / / / / G / / / / A / / / / / / / /

Bass:  D D D D G G G A G    D D D D G G G A G D D D D G G G A G  A

Grey sleep Grey sleep, hey hey hey

What you doing on Saturday?

Grey Sleep Grey sleep look at me

I’m gonna punch you in your face

 

Treb:  D / / / /      G / / / /    D / / / / G / / / /         D / / / / G / / / / A / / / / / / / /

Bass:  D D D D G G G A G    D D D D G G G A G D D D D G G G A G  A

Grey sleep Grey sleep, hey hey hey

What you doing on Saturday?

Grey Sleep Grey sleep look at me

I’m gonna punch you in your face

 

 

40 STEPS

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

Take your 40 steps if you wanna get down

it’s hard to get on up when you’re from a small town

Em7     D G

Get your toes wet if you think you can stand it

Em7     D G

there’s not a lot of space to run if you’re a bandit

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

bring it back home once again so you can try it

or give on up and take a break if you get tired

Em7   D G

look around because the view is very pretty

Em7     D G

from up on high you look below on them with pity

DDDDD A     CCCCC G

O O O O O It’s so Co Co Co Co Cold

There’s no shelter for the young in bold

NO no no no no you can’t ho ho ho ho hold

Onto What you’ve got cause that’s what you’ve sold

D C D C A G D G

 

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

take your 40 steps if you wanna get down

you jump from high enough you land too hard and you drown

Em7   D G

you wanna skip a rock, you best make it a smooth one

Em7   D G

too many of them make it hard for you to choose one

 

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

It gets deep quickly, the current’s tricky

and if you don’t watch out the townies can be so prickly

Em7   D G

drive around in circles stay away from Christie's

Em7   D G

take the exit for the causeway if you’re feeling frisky

DDDDD A     CCCCC G

O O O O O It’s so Co Co Co Co Cold

There’s no shelter for the young in bold

NO no no no no you can’t ho ho ho ho hold

Onto What you’ve got cause that’s what you’ve sold

D C D C A G D G

BRIDGE:

Em / / / /   C / / Am / /

Friday night and the roads are ice

I made plans but I got no ride

I can’t stop thinking in my bed

what did she end up doing instead?

G / / /    Dm/F / / / /   C / / / / / / / /

This is just a reversal

G / / /    Dm/F / / / /   C / / / / / / / /

for the real show there’ll be a reversal

D C D C A G D G

 

 

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

take your 40 steps if you wanna get down

you gotta be the type of guy the wanna be around

Em7   D G

don’t get lonely enjoy the isolation

Em7   D G

mystery doesn’t need an explanation

treb: C                      C

bass: CCCCCCAG   CCCCCCAG

you love it and you hate it, just matters how you made it

you never ever done it doesn’t mean you cannot fake it

Em7   D G

there’s nothing doing the clock is so impatient

Em7   D G

make a move just because of desperation

DDDDD A     CCCCC G

O O O O O It’s so Co Co Co Co Cold

There’s no shelter for the young in bold

NO no no no no you can’t ho ho ho ho hold

Onto What you’ve got cause that’s what you’ve sold

 

D C D C A G D G

 

 

Professor Peterson

 

C / / F / /

 

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

 

You think you know things about creative writing

You think you know things about prose poetry

You think you know things about creative writing

You think you know things about prose poetry

 

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

 

You think you’re so hip.  You think you’re so easy laid back

You think you’re so cool cause you make us call you Johnny

You think you’re so hip.  You think you’re so easy laid back

You think you’re so cool cause you make us call you Johnny

 

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

 

You don’t know anything about creative writing

You don’t know anything about prose poetry

You don’t know anything about creative writing

You don’t know anything about prose poetry

 

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Professor Peterson, Yeah!

 

 

Husbands ‘r’ Us

 

B / / / / A / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

My name is Joe and my wife is Jane / And with each year she’s more of a pain

Her voice just eats into my brain / She’s gonna make me go insane

 

I’m Fred Victors and my tale is dire / My wife, she pushed me in the fire

Everybody says that I’m a liar / And now I can’t sing in the church choir

 

E / / / /       A / / / / E / / / /        B / / / /

We are the husbands and we are not happy

E / / / /              A / / / /          B / / A / / E / / / /

because we’ve been bossed around much too long

 

B / / / / A / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

Marcus D, Yes, that’s me / I have more trouble than honey has bees

I’m always sent down on my knees / asking baby baby baby baby baby baby please

 

Here I am, yes, M.F. S. / My wife, she makes me wear a dress

Parade in front of all her friends / I can’t wait ‘til this marriage ends

 

We all know Peter J is OK / But my wife sees things a different way

She kicks me out most everyday / and she won’t hear what I have to see

 

Yes, I’m known as the noble savage / My wife won’t serve me naught but cabbage

I tell her I want steak for dinner / but she says cabbage until I’m thinner

 

E / / / /       A / / / / E / / / /        B / / / /

We are the husbands and we are not happy

E / / / /              A / / / /          B / / A / / E / / / /

because we’ve been bossed around much too long

 

 

B / / / / A / / / / G / / / / A / / / /

They call me The Rock, but made of stone I’m not / It hurts when she hits me with a pot

She’s got a gun and she shoots it a lot / and one of these days I’m gonna get shot

 

Everybody I know calls me the king / but my wife won’t hear me sing

She makes me get the telephone when it rings

She don’t use dryer sheets and so my clothes have static cling

 

I am Huston, and I’m a wreck / cash and jewelry is what she expects

She’s so calculating and she’s so obscene / she even bothers me in my dreams

 

Hello, everybody, my name is Bobby / And I ride motorcycles for a hobby

And when I crashed and I could not tour / my wife wouldn’t see me anymore

 

E / / / /       A / / / / E / / / /        B / / / /

We are the husbands and we are not happy

E / / / /              A / / / /          B / / A / / E / / / /

because we’ve been bossed around much too long

 

 

Keep Your Chin Up

 

Treb:           G7

   G

Bass:  G D F      G

Keep your chin up.  Don’t be sad.

Life is wonderful.  Life is not so bad.

Look at the bright side.  You are alive.

Even though someday you are going to die.

 

Dm7 / /  Bb / / A / / / /

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!

 

Treb:           G7

   G

Bass:  G D F      G

Life is so weird.  We all are alive for a while.  

And then before you know it we are all dead

We’re only on earth for like, I don’t know, 50 or 100 years or whatever

 

Dm7 / /  Bb / / A / / / /

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!    We might as well be happy!

Dm7 / /  Bb / / A / / / /

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!    So you might as well keep your stupid chin up.

 

E / / / /   C#m7 / / / / D / / / / D / D4 / D5 / D4 / D

KEEP KEEP KEEP YOUR YOUR YOUR YOUR CHIN CHIN CHIN CHIN UP UP UP UP

KEEP KEEP KEEP YOUR YOUR YOUR YOUR CHIN CHIN CHIN CHIN UP UP UP UP

KEEP KEEP KEEP YOUR YOUR YOUR YOUR CHIN CHIN CHIN CHIN UP UP UP UP

 

Dm7 / / / / Bb / / / / A / / / / / / / /

Keep your stupid chin up, ok?  Listen to me sing some more

 

 

Treb:           G7

   G

Bass:  G D F      G

Here’s the deal.  Life is weird. Life is crazy.  No one understands it.

We’re all gonna be dead someday.

And lots of tragedies befall us while we’re alive

But still

 

Dm7 / /  Bb / / A / / / /

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!  We might as well keep our chins up.

 

Dm7 / /  Bb / / A / / / /

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!  Why be sad?

 

 

Highlighter

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

Sometimes when, I am reading something,

I will come across a part that I will want to remember for the future

What am I gonna do about that?

I am going to grab my highlighter

And highlight the part that I wanna remember

Oh Yeah, I love my highlighter

It is such a good and convenient way to remember stuff

 

C / / / /          D / / / /

Highlighter.  It’s just like a marker

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

Except that the color that comes out is very light and

 

C / / / /                        D / / / /

Bright.  It’s usually orange or yellow.  

E / / / / / / / /

So when you put the color over the text, you still see the text.

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

Especially if the text is written in black or blue or some other dark color

That is the point of the highlighter

You get to highlight the part of the text that you wanna

 

 

C / / / /          D / / / /

Uh Huh.    I love my highlighter.

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

I’ve got a couple of them.

Some yellow ones and some orange ones

 

C / / / /                        D / / / /

Some people use other colors too.  But I

E / / / / / / / /

But I think yellow and orange are what is best for me

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

Oh yeah.  I love my highlighter.  

I use it all the time when I am reading something.

And I come across a section that I really want to remember

And go back to in the future

That’s when I use my highlighter

 

C / / / /          D / / / /

Yeah Yeah.  My highlighter is wonderful

 

Treb:   A7

A

Bass:  A A    G

It’s so good at reminding me of the best parts

 

C / / / /                        D / / / /

Of whatever         I’m reading

E / / / / / / / / A

La la la la la la la la la la la highlighter

 

 

Marco Polo!  Punch in the Face!

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

I’m in pool, blind.  Cause I closed my eyes.

A / / / / / / / /

I say “Marco.”  You say “Polo” Then I punch you.

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

When I get close, I can’t resist

A / / / / / / / /

Punching your face with my fist.

 

F#m / / D / / A / / E / /
Marco!  Marco! Marco Polo!

Marco!  Marco! Marco Polo!

I keep getting nearer.

F#m / / / /         D / / / / E / / / /

You should be filled with fear

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

I’m like a bat.  I see with sound.

A / / / / / / / /

Now you’re lost.  But once you’re found.

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

I’m gonna punch you, punch you, punch you in the face.

I’m gonna punch you, punch you, punch you in the face.

When we’re through with this ridiculous chase

A / / / / / / / /

I’m gonna punch you, punch you right in your face!

 

 

 

F#m / / D / / A / / E / /
Marco!  Marco! Marco Polo!

Marco!  Marco! Marco Polo!

I keep getting nearer.

F#m / / / /         D / / / / E / / / /

You should be filled with fear

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

I’m in pool, blind.  Cause I closed my eyes.

A / / / / / / / /

I say “Marco.”  You say “Polo” Then I punch you.

 

A / / / / G / /  D / /

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

Marco Polo!  Gonna punch you in the face!

I’m like a bat.  I see with sound.

A / / / / / / / /

Now you’re lost.  But once you’re found, I’m gonna punch you!

 

 

Martha, No

 

G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /           G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

Am7 / / Am7 (2) / Am7 /      G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

 

G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /                  G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

I hereby request that you blur     My face out of all your pictures

Am7 / / Am7 (2) / Am7 /      G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

Because I’m not coming ‘round no more, I’m sure

 

Am7 / / Am7 (2) / Am7 /      G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

And your memories of me are not deserved

Am7 / / Am7 (2) / Am7 /      G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

No, your memories of me are not deserved

Am7 / / Am7 (2) / Am7 /      G4 / / G / / G2 / / G / /

Your memories of me are not deserved.

 

 

Pedi Talk Villains

D2 D  D2 D Em7  C

we sat together in the park

waiting on the evening sky to get dark

oh oh oh

so they could fire up the river and start the show

oh oh oh   oh oh oh oh

and the mermaid lady was on display

she couldn’t’ care less what people say

it was a pretty good night after a pretty good day

G    B7 C   Am7

and this wouldn’t be our last stop

pedi talk villains were gonna rock

we could keep dancing until re dropped

D2 D  D2 D Em7  C

we’d been making the rounds

stopping at the analog underground

to see what dave never had found

and reminisce about stomping ground

it was the only time that I’d ever seen

reality lining up with my dream

everybody was conspiring for her and me

G    B7 C   Am7

and this wouldn’t be our last stop

pedi talk villains were gonna rock

we could keep dancing til we dropped

and the keyboard player didn’t wanna tell us

that the lead singer was feeling jealous

and it felt nice to be on top

and we could keep dancing until we dropped

 

 

One Step at a Time

 

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

Bb F/C / / / /

One step at a time.  One step at a time. One step at a time.

 

F/A / / F6/A / F/A / Gm7 / / / /

You never finish if you don’t commence

And don’t be discouraged by some accidents

 

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

Bb F/C / / / /

Life is long and you are strong

Come on, come on

Keep moving along

LIfe is long and you are strong

Come on, come on, come on

Keep moving along

 

F/A / / F6/A / F/A / Gm7 / / / /

You are on the right road, I reckon.

As you get farther, please call me to check in, let me know how you’re doing

 

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

F/C F4/C F4/C F/C Bb2 / / / /

Bb F/C / / / /

One step at a time.  One step at a time. One step at a time.

 

 

GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL

 

G / / / /                                                D / / / / Am7 / / / / / / / /

I’m gonna write the great American novel in a trailer park in West Virginia

I’m telling everyone I’ve known back home I’m gonna do it so I must continue

 

Bb                         F Dm      C

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

 

G / / / /                                             D / / / / Am7 / / / / / / / /

Sweet melinda, she’s the checkout girl.  She’s got bleach-blonde hair all in a curl

She’s still looking up the codes, taking her time, aggravating everybody waiting in line

I could do it so much better and I’m not bragging

But my supervisor’s got no clue and he’s still got me bagging

 

Bb                         F Dm      C

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

 

F                           F/A   Bb

Melinda doesn’t get it when I advise her

Not to waste time running around with our supervisor

She says the stuff that we find funny is just plain weird

And she changed aisles because they claimed that I leered

 

Bb                         F Dm      C

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say    but I’m saying it anyway

 

 

G / / / /                            D / / / / Am7 / / / / / / / /

Grocery life’s got me tired at night.  Energy’s drained but I’m still gonna write

Listening close to my neighbors fight.  Fingers move fast as I transcribe

I’ve got nothing to say but i’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say but I’m putting it on the page

I’ve got nothing to say but i’m saying it anyway

I’ve got nothing to say but I’m putting it on the page

I’m gonna write the great american novel in a trailer park in West Virginia

I’m gonna write the great american novel in a trailer park in West Virginia

 

End on:  G

 

 

Plow Guy

 

F / / / / Bb5/G / / / / F/A / / / / Bb / / / /

 

The plow guy crashed into my garage

Now I gotta find the courage

To ask him to pay me or do the repair

 

My instinct is to just ignore it

Convince myself before it

Happened all the damage was already there

 

Oh oh.  I got songs to write

Oh oh .  I don’t have time to fight

With a guy who didn’t do what’s right when he damaged my property the other night

 

He just drove away, avoiding trouble

That’s what I get for avoiding my shovel

When the storm’s really big he always charges double

I hope this guy is on the level

 

I own a home so I can sing my songs

Without bothering anybody all day long

But there’s shoveling there’s mowing the lawn

And the list goes on and on and on

 

I don’t care if I’m keeping up with the neighbors

I hate it when they offer to do me favors

It feels like they’re judging all of my behaviors

When, instead of raking leaves, I’m singing downstairs

 

I’m singing downstairs

I’m always singing downstairs.

 

 

Back to the Drawing Board

 

Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /  Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

 

Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /                      Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /

You went and made a stand       You thought they’d understand

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

Didn’t go as planned

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

It didn’t meet your demands

 

G / / / / / / / /   A / / / / / / / /

Back         to the drawing board

Back         to the drawing board

 

Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /  Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

 

Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /                            Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /

Take a breath, wipe off the dust         Time to reset and adjust

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

Don’t lose your faith, don’t lose your trust

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

We’ll get this right because we must

 

Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /                            Dsus4 / / / / D / / / /

All the frauds and all the fakes         Never learn from their mistakes

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

But we will do just what it takes        

Em7 (9) [play bottom 3 strings] / / / / Em7 (9) [play top 3 strings] / / / /

Keep at it til something breaks

 

G / / / / / / / /   A / / / / / / / /

Back         to the drawing board

Back         to the drawing board

 

Not Dead

 

D / / / /     Am7 / / / /   G / / / / C / /    G/B / /

 

I’m glad I’m alive, I’m glad I’m not dead

I’m glad I’m still ringing in your head

I’m glad I’m a louse, I’m glad you’re a mouse

I’m glad to be living in this house

I’m glad to be blonde, I’m sad to be red

And I wish very much that you weren’t dead

 

I know you aren’t, but you are to me

And I’m sad and silly as a man can be

I’m sad and I’m stupid and I’m so alone

And I’m always waiting right by the phone

And when the sound comes, I hope and I pray

That you’ll be calling me just to say

That you love me and need me and wanna return

And the fire in my heart will once again burn

 

And we’ll dance like monkeys and we’ll sing all around

Cause something was lost and now it’s found

We’ll dance in the street and we’ll laugh in the rain

We’ll grow old together and walk with a cane

We’ll walk on the beach and we’ll go out to eat

And, when you’re tired, I’ll say, “Take a load off your feet”

 

I’m glad I’m alive, I’m glad I’m not dead

I’m glad I’m still ringing in your head

I’m glad I’m a louse, I’m glad you’re a mouse

I’m glad to be living in this house

I’m glad to be blonde, I’m sad to be red

And I wish very much that you weren’t dead

 

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

 

I’m glad I’m a louse, I’m glad you’re a mouse

I’m glad to be living in this house

I’m glad to be blonde, I’m sad to be red

And I wish very much that you weren’t dead

 

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

Ooh you weren’t dead

I wish that you weren’t dead

 

 

Be My Sweetheart

 

G / / /   D / / / G / / /  D / / / G / / / D / / /

Cmaj / / /  G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

 

                   G / / / D / / /           G / / / D / / /  G / / / D / / /

If you could be    my sweetheart be with me  we could fly together down to

Cmaj / / /  G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

Waikiki                      And if you

 

G / / /   D / / /                 G / / / D / / /     G / / / D / / /

Were my sweetheart     if you said yes I’d wear my suit

    Cmaj / / /         G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

And you’d wear that dress    that you wore to

 

G / / /   D / / /                 G / / / D / / /     G / / / D / / /

See me at my               parents’ house when it was dark and

    Cmaj / / /         G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

And we weren’t allowed         oh please

 

G / / /   D / / /                 G / / / D / / /     G / / / D / / /

Be my sweetheart    with the pretty face   and the lovely style

    Cmaj / / /         G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

And impeccable taste             And Lie

 

G / / /   D / / /                 G / / / D / / /     G / / / D / / /

With me until               it gets really late  listening to songs we both

    Cmaj / / /         G/B / / / Em7 / / /  D/F# / / /

              Appreciate

 

Repeat twice, then end on G / / / D / / /

 

 

Staying Out All Night

 

E / / / /                                           E7 / / / / A / / / /

Typically I’m out when the sun is bright    and when it gets this late

Am / / / /E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

I’m tucked in tigh   But things broke just right  and I’m Staying out all night!

 

E / / / /                                           E7 / / / / A / / / /

I’ve got my parents’ trust and my girlfriend’s lust     I crept out to se her

Am / / / /E / / / /                      D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

Just quietly enough.   She’s looking out of sight and we’re staying out all night

 

D / / / /                    E / / / / A / / / /                          Am / / / /

Hop hop hoppin’    over fences Stop stop stoppin’ for experiences

D / / / /                    A / / / / E / / / /                                      B7 / / / /

No inhibition       just ambition to achieve what we’ve both been wishin’

E / / / /                                                B7 / / / / / / / /

And that’s lots and lots and lots and lots of kissin’

 

E / / / /                                           E7 / / / / A / / / /

Can’t imagine work       Can’t imagine sorrow.   Can’t imagine what is gonna

Am / / / /E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

Happen tomorrow      til the sun’s first light we’re staying out all night!

 

E / / / /                                           E7 / / / / A / / / /

Not one missed step             not one regret me and my girl sharing

Am / / / /E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

A secret                as we unite staying out all night!

 

D / / / /                    E / / / / A / / / /                          Am / / / /

Hop hop hoppin’    over fences Stop stop stoppin’ for experiences

D / / / /                    A / / / / E / / / /                                      B7 / / / /

No inhibition       just ambition to achieve what we’ve both been wishin’

E / / / /                                                B7 / / / / / / / /

And that’s lots and lots and lots and lots of kissin’

 

 

E / / / /                                           E7 / / / / A / / / /

Typically I’m out when the sun is bright    and when it gets this late

Am / / / /E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

I’m tucked in tigh   But things broke just right  and I’m Staying out all night!

 

E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

things broke just right  and I’m Staying out all night!

 

E / / / / D / /  A / / E / / / / / / / /

things broke just right  and I’m Staying out all night!

 

 

We’re Not Making It

 

G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / / C / / / /  D / / / / / / / /

 

G / / / /                         C / / / /

Did you say what you needed to say?

G / / / /                                   C / / / /

Have I offended you in any other way?

G / / / /                             C / / / /       D / / / / / / / /

The road is dark and my brakes are shot and at the speed we’re going it won’t take a lot

 

G / / / /                         C / / / /

You keep tellign me that your life is good

G / / / /                                   C / / / /

That you wouldn’t change it if you could

G / / / /                             C / / / /      

But we were young once, baby, you and me,

D / / / / / / / /

and I know this is not the way you wanted it to be

 

C / / / /                                         D / / / /

We’re not making it.  We’re just making believe

G / / / /                                         Em / / / /

And I don’t wanna look close babe, I don’t wanna grieve

C / / / /                          D / / / / G / / / /      D / / / /

The best was yet to come and then to go

C / / / /                                         D / / / /

We’re not young and this ain’t gonna changes

G / / / /                                         Em / / / /

The choices that we made put us on this train

C / / / /                          D / / / /

And it’s moving way too fast to take it slow

G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / / C / / / /  D / / / / / / / /

Slow!  Slow! Slow! Oh oh oh!

 

 

G / / / /                         C / / / /

It happened silently and it was not fair

G / / / /                                   C / / / /

How my crumbling heart was something you didn’t hear

G / / / /                             C / / / /      

Now I’m heading out after a few more words

D / / / / / / / /

And you best be believing that I’m gonna be heart

 

G / / / /                         C / / / /

If there’s one last thing that I want you to know

G / / / /                                   C / / / /

It’s that I tried too hard and kept my guard too low

G / / / /                             C / / / /      

I couldn’t block your words from hitting their mark

D / / / / / / / /

And I’m carrying this water to put out the next spark

 

C / / / /                                         D / / / /

We’re not making it.  We’re just making believe

G / / / /                                         Em / / / /

And I don’t wanna look close babe, I don’t wanna grieve

C / / / /                          D / / / / G / / / /      D / / / /

The best was yet to come and then to go

C / / / /                                         D / / / /

I’m still me.  It’s just your memory’s faded

G / / / /                                         Em / / / /

And looking in the eye is way overrated

C / / / /                          D / / / /

And life happens way too fast to take it slow

G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / / C / / / /  D / / / / / / / /

Slow!  Slow! Slow! Oh oh oh!

G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / /   C / / / / G / / / / C / / / /  D / / / / / / / /

Slow!  Slow! Slow! Oh oh oh!

G / / / / / / / /

 

 

Punch Bowl

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / / Em / / D / /   Em / / / /

C / /  G / / C / /  G / / Em / / D / / Em / / / /

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / /

I got a punch bowl.  I put my punch in it.

Em / /   D / / Em / / / /

Then I scoop it out with a ladle

C / /  G / / C / /  G / /

Then I pour it into my cup

Em / / D / / Em / / / /

And then I drink it!    What a great system!

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / / Em / / D / /   Em / / / /

PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL YEAH

C / /  G / / C / /  G / / Em / / D / / Em / / / /

PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL YEAH

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / /

If you try to give me punch that didn’t come out of a punch bowl

Em / /   D / / Em / / / /

I’m gonna have to punch you in your face

C / /  G / / C / /  G / /

I am a classy and distinguished individual

Em / / D / / Em / / / /

I only drink punch that comes out of a punch bowl

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / / Em / / D / /   Em / / / /

PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL YEAH

C / /  G / / C / /  G / / Em / / D / / Em / / / /

PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL PUNCH BOWL YEAH

 

Em / /  D / / Em / /  D / /

Don’t spike the punch that’s sitting in the punchbowl

Em / /   D / / Em / / / /

That’s not honest.  That’s unlawful

C / /  G / / C / /  G / /

People like you are a disgrace

Em / / D / / Em / / / /

Get out of my house before I punch you in the face

 

C / /  G / / C / /  G / / Em / / D / / Em / / / /

                                  Get out of my house before I punch you in the face

 

 

A Song About Keys!

 

D / /  A / / E / /  A / / D / / A / /  E / / / /

 

I’ve got a key (What is it for?)

Just take a guess (To unlock the door?)

Correct! If I lost my key     (Would that be a pain?)

Yes.  So guess what I do.   (Do you keep it on a chain?)

 

You bet!

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

 

Have some copies

Of my house keys    (That means you trust me!)

So you can help out(You bet I can)

If I lock myself out(That means a lot man)

 

Sing it!

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

 

I punch you in the face(Ouch that hurts)

Because you came into my place(I guess it’s deserved)

Unbeknownst to me(I was curious)

Give me back my keys!(You’re furious!)

 

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

Keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys

 

 

Turtlehead Poop

E / /  Am / / G / /  D / /

I got this turtlehead poo just popping on through.  Oh oh!

Is there a bathroom you can lead me to?  Oh oh!

 

C / / / / / / / /   

You might not yet notice the smell

G / / / /                                                      D / / / / / / / /

But that’s only cause the turtle’s not yet out of its shell…..but it’s coming

 

E / /  Am / / G / /  D / /

The turtlehead’s out and it can’t be pushed back in

You can reverse this process once it begins

Oh no no no.  You only hope it can be slowed

Until you reach the next toilet down the road

 

C / / / / / / / /   

You might not yet notice the smell

G / / / /                                                      D / / / / / / / /

But that’s only cause the turtle’s not yet out of its shell…..but it’s coming

 

E / /  Am / / G / /  D / /

T U R T L E H E A D

Turtlehead poo is popping right out of me!

T U R T L E H E A D

Turtlehead poo is popping right out of me!

 

C / / / / / / / /   

You might not yet notice the smell

G / / / /                                                      D / / / / / / / /

But that’s only cause the turtle’s not yet out of its shell

C / / / / / / / /   

You might not yet notice the smell

G / / / /                                                      D / / / / / / / /

But that’s only cause the turtle’s not yet out of its shell…..but it’s coming

 

E / /  Am / / G / /  D / /

I got this turtlehead poo just popping on through!

I got this turtlehead poo just popping on through!

I’ll Make a Poster

 

A / / / / E / / / / F#m / / / / B7 / / / /

I’ll make a poster and we’ll hang it on the wall

The horrorfest is gonna start tonight around 7:00

Frog can be John if I can be Paul

We’ll be recognized as geniuses before we’re up in heaven

A / / / / E / / / / F#m / / / / B7 / / / /

Say a prayer for Bill every morning for his ankle

I advised him to tenderize it with a hammer

Did you hear about that guy who graduated with us?

He beat somebody up and now he’s in the slammer

 

F#m / / / / E / / / /

Snake was back in town, or so that’s what we all heard

D / / / /    A/C# / / / /

So we showed up at his house as soon as we got word

B7 / / / / / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

And we watched some TV shows with his mother Moe

F#m / / / / E / / / /

Snake was back in town or so that’s what we all heard

D / / / /    A/C# / / / /

So we showed up at his house as soon as we got word

B7 / / / / / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

And we watched some rerun shows until she told us it’s time to go

 

A / / / / E / / / / F#m / / / / B7 / / / /

Working in the basement, Projection From The Side

We weren’t quite the Beatles but it filled us with pride

We talked about weddings or perhaps some open mics

But life got in the way and we never found time

 

F#m / / / / E / / / /

Froggy moved to Florida, I went to New Hampshire

D / / / / A/C# / / / /

Pete drove to LA, none of us found the answer

B7 / / / / / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

Now we’re back in the basement rocking for the obligatory reunion

F#m / / / / E / / / /

Froggy moved to Florida, I went to New Hampshire

D / / / / A/C# / / / /

Scalzo headed upstate, none of us found the answer

B7 / / / / / / / / D / / / / E / / / /

Now we’re back in the basement, rocking.  There’s nothing else that I’d rather be doing.

 

 

Have You Seen Dooma Blooma?

Verse 1:  

G

Have You see Dooma Blooma?

Em                         D C

Bulldog Says he’s looking like a scary superman

G

Have you seen Dooma Blooma?

Em                                D C

He’s running down the hallway just as fast as he can

 

Refrain:

                     Am7                              Em D

Looking for the last walkie talkie.  Looking for the last walkie talkie yeah

Looking for the last walkie talkie.  Looking for the last walkie talkie yeah

 

Instrumental:  G / / / / / / / Em / / D / / C / / / / (repeat)

 

Verse 2:

G

Have you seen Dooma Blooma?

Em                               D C

He’s preaching to the kids about who you should date

G

Have you seen Dooma Blooma?

Em                                D C

He says that we should know what we want in a mate

 

Refrain:

Am7                                      Em D

I want a girl who’s fearless   I want a girl who’s fearless

I want a girl who’s fearless   I want a girl who’s fearless

I want a girl who’s fearless   I want a girl who’s fearless

I want a girl who’s fearless   I want a girl who’s fearless, yes

 

Repeat verse 1

Repeat the refrain twice, end on G

 

 

TOURS OF DUTY / TOURS DE FORCE

 

G

We been on tours of duty       We been on tours de force

C                                                  G

we been marathon living as a   matter of course

C

And if the world don’t seem

G                                   Em Am

to care about our    plan, give it time

C                                       G

and they’ll understand

 

G

a song for every hour a song for ever day

C                                               G

a song for everything that’s come along the way

C                                                  G

and if the world don’t seem to care about our plan

Em          Am         C G

give it time and they’ll understand

 

G

once we hit the highway heading for menomonie

C                                                    G

dropped by steven’s point and upper sandusky

C                                            G

the world didn’t seem to care much about our plan

Em                    Am                  G

we said give it time and they’ll understand

 

bridge:

G   / /  / /

 

C                                                       G

In the morning let’s wake up       and walk 33 miles

float across the river                     or drive to enterprise

A7

and if cincinnati's calling us 10 hours out of our way

C

that’s ok

 

 

G

We been on tours of duty       We been on tours de force

C                                                  G

we been marathon living as a   matter of course

C

And if the world don’t seem

G                                   Em Am

to care about our    plan, give it time

C                                  G

and they’ll understand

Em          Am C                         G

Give it time     and they will understand

Em          Am C                         G

Give it time     and they will understand

Em          Am C                         G

Give it time     and they will understand

 

 

It’s OK to Break the Law if You Have Good Intentions

G / / / / / / / / D / / / / / / / / C / / / / / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

 

Life is long and I might get caught

But it’s also short, and probably not

My only regrets are the fights I never fought

All the stuff that I’ve been taught, I forgot

 

All except for one lesson, that’s keep them guessing

If they think you won’t press, then it’s time for pressing

The only field that I want success in

Is the inability to give a false confession

 

ref:

Cause I keep on yelling loud and I keep on feeling proud

As authorities remove me from the crowd

Telling me I was doing what wasn’t allowed

 

If the friendly officers don’t understand

I’ll still get my chance on the witness stand

I’ll speak from my heart and they’ll give me a hand

Saying, “We decree you’ve got to free this man!”

 

And if that is the worst-case scenario

It’s pretty obvious I got to give it a go

Self-destruction’s such a powerful foe

Don’t go with the flow, go put on a show

 

I never got the job with the nice big pension

I’ve never been awarded any honorable mention

Cause I always been the man who didn’t like convention

It’s ok to break the law if you got good intentions!

 

Repeat refrain and final verse

 

 

I Wear Tight Pants When I Dance

 

Bass:  D E F# F#  D E B B

 

I wear tight pants, oh yeah

I wear tight pants when I dance

It looks so nice

It look so good

The ladies love me when I wear my tight pants

 

Don’t make fun of my tight pants

Or else I’ll punch you in your face

I’m gonna punch you in the face

If you make fun on my pants for being too tight

 

You can make fun of them for the color

You can Make fun of them for the style

But don’t say anything about how tight they are

Or else I’m gonna punch you in the stupid face

 

Yeah!

I got Tight pants

Yeah!

I love my tight pants when I dance

 

 

Let Me Tell You About a Girl I Met

F ////  C //// Bb //// C ////

 

Let me tell you about a girl I met

I’ve told her five corny jokes and she doesn’t hate me yet

She’s got great eyes and she’s got great style

I really really really like to make her smile

She walks with me along the old dirt path

She asked me if I’d help her get an A in math

So I taught her all about how 1 and 1 make 2

I told her I love her, she said, “I love you too”

And I love her a lot

She’s all that I got

The other girls in town never gave me a shot

And she’s hot, oh so hot

She lets me do what I wanna, not what I ought

To do

I say “baby, I love you,

We’re gonna go to the zoo

We’re gonna hire a crew

To do all the things that we don’t wanna do

Like mow the lawn and wash the dishes

Baby baby baby if I had three wishes

I’d wish for you

And for the sake of parity

I’d donate the other two wishes to charity.”

Hey hey hey hey hey

Let me tell you about a girl i met

I’ve told her five corny jokes and she doesn’t hate me yet

Let me tell you about a girl I met

I’ve told her five corny jokes and she doesn’t hate me yet

 

 

Goin’ Nowhere

A / / / / E / / / / D / / / / A / / / /

 

The eiderdown is all around this town and the sparkle’s in the sky

And Georgie’s to blame for it being so hot outside

And I slept in today

The clouds were black and gray

The windowpane was letting in the rain

And you are not very nice

 

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

 

And the cherry stem cannot tie itself and recycling is redundant

Conservation a myth, the earth will kill itself

And everyone loves you but you turn the away

You stuck your hand on the coals until the skin burns away

And don’t think I didn’t notice

 

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

 

The eiderdown is all around this town and the sparkle’s in the sky

And Georgie’s to blame for it being so hot outside

And I slept in today

The clouds were black and gray

The windowpane was letting in the rain

And you are not very nice

 

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

And I’m going nowhere and I haven’t seen the daylight in a long, long, long, long time

I’m going nowhere and I think that it’s ok

 

Exterminator Song

Em / / / / Em7 / / Em / / G / / / / A / / / /

 

Exterminator, please come to my house

Kill the cockroaches.  Kill the mouse.

I got intruders and that’s not good

I got termites eating the wood

 

Exterminator, come to my home

I used to think I was living alone

Until I listened.  Until I heard

Their footsteps on my floorboards

Exterminator, I wanna say “See you later” to all these creatures

All these creatures

 

I got ants crawling on my rugs

I sleep at night with hungry bed bugs

Exterminator come to my house

Kill the cockroaches and don’t forget the mouse

Kill the cockroaches and don’t forget the mouse

Exterminator, I wanna say “See you later” to all of the creepy crawly intruders in my house.

 

 

An Ode to Heating Oil (Oh Yeah!)

 

C           D G

Heating Oil   Oh Yeah!

Heating oil, keeping us warm

Heating oil, oh yeah!

Good old heating oil.  Yeah!

Heating oil in my basement

I got a tank that holds a lot of gallons

It gets delivered by a truck

Whenever we’re running low

 

Am                     Em  Am Em

Heating oil goes into the furnace.   The furnace turns the oil into heat

 

C             D  G

And then the heat goes into the house and

Everybody feels warm on a cold day

Heating oil is like a miracle

Without it I would freeze or something

 

Am                    Em               

Heating oil is very expensive.                    

Am                                      Em

You don’t have to keep the house super hot.

Am                                       Em

Just make it warm enough that we don’t freeze

Am                             D

Don’t you know    money doesn’t grow on trees

 

C               D G

Heating oil in the basement

In a big tank keeping us warm

Oh yeah! When it’s cold out

I feel so grateful to the heating oil.

 

 

 

I Sing On Your (Wedding Cake)

E / / A / / E / / / /

 

Oh baby on your wedding day, I’m going to sing you a song

And I’ll be standing on your wedding cake

I hope you’ll sing a long

 

I sing on your wedding cake

Icing on your wedding cake

I sing on your wedding cake

Icing on your wedding cake

 

Your new husband might be upset.  But that doesn’t bother me

Cause, guess what baby, I’m upset too

Cause you married him instead of me

 

I sing on your wedding cake

Icing on your wedding cake

I sing on your wedding cake

Icing on your wedding cake

 

 

I Just Fell In Love

D                 F#m    A

I just fell in love, it’s like the sunrise

E                                           A

And I wanna live this morning again

D                   F#m                      A

All the days before we met were filled with dark skies

                 E                            A

Then she turned her love light on

                  E         A

And now my skin’s a healthy bronze

                E                              A E

With the curtains drawn the neighbors can’t look in

 

     E            A D           E

Oh! I don’t know if our love will grow

But I’m pretty sure that it won’t shrink

My best forecast is that it will last

It’s not gonna burn out in a blink

 

D                      F#m A

I just fell in love and it’s contagious

E                                                      A

I’ve been infected since the morning we met

D                         F#m A

All the things I think about are so outrageous

              E       A E                  A

Like a pan full of our loving that I cook up in the oven

         E                  A E

And share with those less fortunate

 

      E        A D            E

Oh!  I don’t know if our love will float

But I’m pretty sure that it won’t sink

My best forecast is that it will last

It’s not gonna burn out in a blink

 

D                         F#m A

I just fell in love and it’s transplendent

E                                    A

It really put the wind in my sails

D                              F#m A

I wanna buy her a nice chain and a pendant

E                                A

A diamond ring is better yet

E                               A

It gets us closer to the wedding

E                         A E

End us happily like fairy tales

 

 

And I Think Of You

A  //////  F#m //////  E ////// G /// D ///

And there’s the morning dew, and there’s the sky with all its hues

Charlie Patton singing the blues, and I think of you

The yellow evening fog, lapping it all up like a dog

And I know I’m just a cog, still I think of you

And there’s the open road, I’m carrying a heavy load

And all the batteries corrode, and I think of you

In a little roadhouse cafe, as the radios play

Like the day I went away, and I think of you

La la la la la la la la and I think of you

La la la la la la la la and I think of you

Hiding behind your maiden shroud, Turning the music up, way up loud

And I think of you

Talking all about Thom Yorke, Popping off the cider, popping off the cork

And I think of you

Sitting in silence on a weekend night, Telling yourself that it’s gonna be alright

Yes, I think of you, honey

Don’t you turn out the light, Cause I’m almost, yes, I’m almost in sight

Yes I think of you

La la la la la la and i think of you

La la la la la la and I think of you

And I button up my coat, take a look at the letter you wrote,

Running crabs on a boat, yes I think of you

Worked on the Nebraska plain, kept time by the whistle of a train

But it all went down the drain, and I think of you

Waking up from a dream, rubbing my hair with brylcreem

Turn on the iron, wait for the steam, and I think of you

La la la la la la and i think of you

La la la la la la and I think of you

Standing outside there in the cold, looking so bold

And I think of you

Telling Mr. Henry that the rent won’t be late, selling off your last China plate

And I think of you

Laying in your bed all alone, staying right be, right nearby the phone

And I think of you,

Don’t worry baby, it won’t be long, keep your radio on

And I’m thinking of you thinking of you

La la la la la la and i think of you  / la la la la la la la la and I think of  you

Recognize You

 

G / / G/F# / / Em7 / / C2 / Am7(add4) /

You told me everything you had to say, then you said goodbye and you went out walking

Didn’t want for it ever to end, woulda been so pleased if you just kept talking

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

When we meet again after 35 years

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

And I shake all over and I shed some tears

 

G / / G/F# / / Em7 / / C2 / Am7(add4) /

And I wonder was it you and was it me on the bus in the seat right next to mine

And I wonder was it you and was it me who stood behind me when I was in line

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

If I keep your face in perfect aim

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

If you’re in the papers cause of all your fame

 

C2 / / G / / Am7(add4) / / G / / C2 / / G / / Am7(add4) / / C2 / /

And you lie with me and we die together

And we’re torn apart and we’re gone forever

And I keep your ring and I keep your hair

Keep your mind right over there

 

G / / G/F# / / Em7 / / C2 / Am7(add4) /

Got a picture of you up on the swingset, wild dogs lying at your feet

I wonder how you could live forever, wonder how you could stand the heat

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

If time stands still and I never die

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

You don’t care or wonder why

 

C2 / / G / / Am7(add4) / / G / / C2 / / G / / Am7(add4) / / C2 / /

The sun’s going down over the hill where we used to walk, or was I alone?

You humbled me into a secret garden where everything was weird like The Twilight Zone

 

G / / G/F# / / Em7 / / C2 / Am7(add4) /

Morning’s been here a couple hours, pretty soon the sun’s gonna rise

I’m wondering why I even bother, might as well gouge out my eyes

Cause I’m never ever gonna recognize you

Cause I don’t even know if you are real

And I’m never ever gonna recognize you

I broke in half when you broke the seal

 

Canadian Fisheries

G                                                    D

Some people see themselves as lonely and absurd

Some people think they’re loved, or unsheathed like a sword

    C                           G C                       G

But I think I’m stuck in heaven, and I think I’m stuck between

    C                            G                     C G D

The sunnyside of the street and an Afghanistani's dream

 

G                                                    D

Some things, they fit for sure, but they don’t always do

He sold out and hit the road, screaming out, “How do you do?”

C                            G C                   G

She folded up her napkin and he smiled her out the door

C                           G C      G D

He wasn’t much a gambler, she didn’t know the score

 

G                                                 D

It’s tough telling stories when you ain’t got no home

It’s tough telling lies when you ain’t got no foam

C                                G C G

Sometimes life doesn't teach us anything we need

C                                 G C G        D

Spend our days in the alleyways, trying to get some feed

 

G                                                 D

It was late in the evening with the window open wide

The winter cold was seeping in and he’d lost all his pride

C                                          G C G

She was dancing around his head like a crazy leprechaun

C                           G C    G D

Telling him all the time that what he’d done was wrong

 

G                                               D

Ten years back, he’d hit the road with nothing but a fin

Got a job running crabs for a fella he named Quin

C                        G C            G

To Canada and back, ten dollars was his pay

C                                 G C G D

He doubled his life savings in just one stinking day

 

G                                        D

It wasn’t much a life, but then she came along

They got married about three months after that

 

 

Black Lake

G  / / A / / D / / A / /

Well I’ve got a picnic basket and a 1-armed girl

She’s an eskimo and she rocks my world

And I’m taking her down to the old Black Lake with me

It’s a half a mile down the frontage road

And her back is aching from the heavy load

And I’m taking her down to the old Black Lake with me

 

Bm / / D / /  A / / D / / Bm  / / D / / E / / / / / / / /

Black Lake! What do you know? Not too far from Chicago

But still, babe, I’ve just gotta go cause I’ve just got to know

 

G  / / A / / D / / A / /

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba b ab ab ab

Well, we sun a bit and we swim a bunch

Then she wants to eat some lunch

And she’s having a time in the old Black Lake with me

And for dessert she wants a kiss

She tells me that she’s a communist

And we’re having a time at the old Black Lake with me

 

Bm / / D / /  A / / D / / Bm  / / D / / E / / / / / / / /

Black Lake! What do you know? Not too far from Chicago

But still, babe, I’ve just gotta go cause I’ve just got to know

 

G  / / A / / D / / A / /

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

She tells me, “This is paradise”

I say, “You’re right, it’s pretty nice”

She’s gonna stay in the old Black Lake with me

So I build a home and she says, “wow”

We frame a picture of Chairman Mao

On a five year plan on the old Black Lake with me

 

Bm / / D / /  A / / D / / Bm  / / D / / A / / D

Black Lake!  You know where  My baby says she likes it here

She says she don’t wanna roam So Black Lake is our home!

 

Inappropriately Detailed Response

 

C / /  F / / Dm7 / /  G / /

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

A small town life is all I’ve ever known

Before I came to Tokyo all alone

Have you ever been to Ho Kai Do?

I hail from there, don’t you know?

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

 

Am  / / / / Em / / / /

I really really wanna help you very much

I really wanna wanna help you very much

I wanna really wanna help you very much

Am / / / / G / / / / / / / /

I really really wanna wanna help you

 

C / /  F / / Dm7 / /  G / /

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

I’m sorry but I can’t provide directions to the place you wanna go

Oh oh, ooh ooh ooh

 

 

Doesn’t Play It By The Rule

 

Am7 / / / / Em7 / / / / Dm7 / / / / Em7 / / / /

My love went dining down in San Diego

But she couldn’t play it very cool

She talked so loud that they wouldn’t admit her

She couldn’t play it by the rule

 

You’ve got to learn to speak more softly

Or you’re gonna tear it up once again

Just keep on reading your dictionary

Don’t write me with your bloody pen

 

Faith, love, hope, tragedy

And the froggy said to the mousey,

“Miss mousey will you marry me?”

 

My love, she’s living with another zombie

She’s writing for another fool

You know it’s wrong for you to never call me

But then you never played it by the rule

 

My love, she’s living with another zombie

She’s writing for another fool

You know, I think it’s wrong that she never writes me

But then she never played it by the rule

 

 

Be Young With Me

 

A  / / / /  Em7/G / / / /  D/F# / / / / Em7/G  / / / /

 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

Be young with me, without a care-o

Before we get governed by time’s arrow

It’s inevitable

I know it forsooth

Just take a look at your sister, Ruth

We were making bets outside the Superette

She said, “You better stop, or else I’m calling the cops.”

She works all day and sleeps all night

She’s lost that Je Ne Sais Quoi that finds joy in a fight

 

Won’t you listen up baby, it’s the freight train whistle

We could catch and jump it if we move like a missile

Or we could make time by the riverside

Quit your dreaming babe, you’ll never be my bride

 

There’s a derelict car by the village square

I’ve got a can of kerosene and my daddy’s flare

We’re gonna douse it real good, let it burn ‘til it bursts

To put me in jail, they’ll have to catch me first

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

They’re gonna have to catch me first

 

 

College Try

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

When a leftist dictator gives your nation dirty looks

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

You can’t go hiding behind your learning books

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

But that’s what he did, that darn draft skipper

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

While I was in the pacific theater, winning one for the gipper

 

Bbm / / Fm/Ab / / C7/G / / Fm / /

And he wooed my woman with his sophomoric charm

Bbm / / Fm/Ab / / G7 / / C7 / /

While an enemy bullet got lodged in my arm

 

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

The wedding’s tomorrow, he’s a PhD

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

He promised her they’d own a summer home by the sea

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

He flaunts his big words and drinks imported tea

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

How could she have chosen that fop over me

 

Bbm / / Fm/Ab / / C7/G / / Fm / /

I’m going to the church before he makes her his wife

Bbm / / Fm/Ab / / G7 / / C7 / /

I’m gonna beat that lucky Jim within an inch of his life

 

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

She forgot about me, I’m gonna make her remember

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

If I don’t tell her how I feel, I might as well die

Fm        C7  Fm  C7

I might not have an education, no prospects, no dough

Bbm           C7 Fm          C7

But I’m gonna gonna give it the old college try!

 

 

MEET ME AT THE HA-HA ROCKS

 

G   G G   G

Meet me at the Ha-Ha Rocks

D   D Em   C

it’s where glenway breaks in half

G G G G

meet me at the ha-ha rocks

D  D Em  C

and we’ll have a nice big laugh

 

                D                                  Am  D

And if the bike gang comes along     We won’t stop singing our song We won’t let them tell us to move on   

C      G A5

because it’s a free country it’s a free country yeah

it’s a free country it’s a free country year

 

G G G G

meet me at the ha ha rocks

D   D Em   C

if you got plans put them off until after

G  G G  G

meet me at the ha ha rocks

D  D Em   C

because I’m in the mood for laughter

 

                D                           Am D

and if the bike gang happens by   we’re not gonna cry we’re gonna look them in the eye

 

C       G A5

and tell them it’s a free country

it’s a free country yeah

it’s a free country

it’s a free country yeah

we’re not gonna line up against the wall

like we did that time for brian hall

we’re gonna stand tall

we’re gonna  stand tall

 

END ON:  G

 

Our Troubles May Be Over

 

A / /   E / / G  / / D / /  

A  / /  E / /  G / / / / / / / /

 

A                                  E

Hey Hey, I hear we’re made out of clay

G                                                               D

And the Mayans think we’re down to our very last day

A                                                     E

But when I pick up my guitar and I start to play

G                                       D

I think our troubles may be over

 

A                                                   E

And the devil might want me to renounce my lord

G                                        D

I wouldn’t even do it for a ‘57 Ford

A                                              E

Satan’s got no rhythm, I ain’t getting on board

G                                       D

I think our troubles may be over

 

Bm                                          G A                       D

I ain’t wasting no time on the picket line    I make it for the moment, not for the dime

Bm                                         G

You can’t tempt me, lest you’re a long-legged woman

E7

And you like to hear the sound of my guitar humming

 

A                                                            E

We’ve been written off as hacks and a novelty act

G                                              D

By critics with no brains and even less tact

A                                                        E

We’ve never been nowhere, so we can’t come back

G                                           D

I think our troubles may be over

 

Bm                                          G A                       D

I ain’t wasting no time on the picket line    I make it for the moment, not for the dime

Bm                                         G

You can’t tempt me, lest you’re a long-legged woman

E7

And you like to hear the sound of my guitar humming

 

A                                                   E

We spent 20 years trying just to give it a go

G                                                D

And we finally got invited to a town hall show

A                                                    E

I sent a message to Scalzo, did he answer me? No

G                                         D

I think our trouble may be over

 

A                                         E

I dug out a 5th generation VHS tape

G                                          D

Critics think it’s swill, but I think it great

A                                            E

I wouldn’t throw it away unless I needed the space

G                                        E

I think our troubles may be over

 

A / / / / E / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa

A / / / / E / / / / G / / / / / / / / A

I think our troubles may be over

 

Dixie Guano Co.

Am7 / / / /       G / / / /

 

I get my fertilizer at the Dixie Guano Co.

I get my fertilizer at the Dixie Guano Co.

Well, I guess you could say I got an affinity for animals

Robust and vital

Fattening frogs for snakes

You know I wouldn’t run a rabbit

 

And I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer at the Dixie Guano Co.

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer at the Dixie Guano Co.

 

All kinds of contradictions and paradoxes

Queen Anne and East Lake

Riding a bookmobile through Jefferson County

WT Couch, he was a publisher

 

And I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer at the Dixie Guano Co.

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer

I get my fertilizer at the

Dixie Guano The Dixie Guano, The Dixie Guano. The Dixie Guano Co.

 

 

Skinny Dipping Song

 

Am / / / /    C / / / / D / / / /        G / / / /

Got no clothes on and I’m in the ocean

There ain’t no part of mine where the sun doesn’t shine

People looking at me like I’m all rude

As far as I’m concerned, every beach is nude

 

Em / / / / / / / / Am / / / / D / / / /

Hey, girl, over there, yeah you the cute one

Why the heck do you have a suit on?

No need for clothes, it’s plenty warm

You should be naked like the day you were born

 

Am / / / /    C / / / / D / / / /        G / / / /

People see me feeling so free

It ain’t no crime and they agree

All of the guys and all the ladies

Get naked on the beach, all floppy and free

 

Em / / / / / / / / Am / / / / D / / / /

Come on, let’s do the naked dance

Everybody, all together, here in the sand

Things are getting wild, we’re causing a commotion

Now, let’s skinny dip in the ocean

 

Am / / / /    C / / / / D / / / /        G / / / /

Someone called the cops, we’ve been warned

But when they show up they take off their uniforms

The mayor and the city council just decreed

As far as clothes at the beach, there ain’t no need

 

 

The Killer Clown Came To Our Town

 

Am7 / / /      C / Dm / / /      C/E / G / / /         Am7 / C / / / /

The killer clown came to our town

We were at a field day, dancing to the DJ

When we spotted a tall, tall man

He had a broken arm

He was looking for his van

Something went wrong with his evil plan

My friends and I decided it was time to take a stand

 

G / / / / Am / / / /

Killer killer killer killer clown

You’ve got to get out of our town

Killer killer killer killer clown

Dm / / C / / G / / / /                     Dm / / C / / G / / / /

We’re gonna take you down     We’re gonna take you down

 

Am7 / / /      C / Dm / / /             C/E / G / / / Am7 /          C / / / /

We lured him to our fort, making sure he stepped on the trap door

He couldn’t escape from beneath the floor

That clown wouldn’t be killing anymore

We filed a police report, and we testified in court

The electric chair would be that clown’s final resort

 

G / / / / Am / / / /

Killer killer killer killer clown

You’ve got to get out of our town

Killer killer killer killer clown

Dm / / C / / G / / / /                      Dm / / C / / G / / / /

We’re gonna take you down      We’re gonna take you down

 

Am7 / / /      C / Dm / / /      C/E / G / / /      Am7 / C / / / /

Killer killer killer

Killer killer killer

Killer killer killer clown

 

Xmas in a Sweater

 

Bb / / /    F/A / / / Bb/D / / /   Eb/G / / /

Bb/F / / /   F / / / Eb/C / / /   F / / /

 

I wanna spend Christmas in a sweater

With you by my side feeling much better

Singing and playing songs together

Songs about Christmas and snow and cold weather

 

Uncles and aunts will look at us and smile

Because we’re in love at least this short while

Nieces and Nephews will sing and they’ll dance

They’ll whisper and gossip about our romance

 

We’ll smile and we’ll nod and we’ll kiss once or twice

And all will be happy and all will be nice

 

 

Gotta Go

 

G                                                                                          Em D C G Em D C G

Gotta go be practical, do what I’m told, stay alive until I’m old.  Oh oh oh oh

I feel the need to be preserved.  Make sure all my time is served. Oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

C           D Em                     G

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

C           D Em

What is life?  I don’t know.

 

G                                                                                 Em D C G Em D C G

I’m prepared to be alive for a moment that never arrives.  Oh oh oh oh

They taught me and I’ll teach you.  It’s all a frustrating loop. Oh oh oh oh

 

C            D Em                     G

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

C             D Em

What is life?  I don’t know.

 

D                               C                                       Am

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

C                   D

LIfe’s not a ruin.

 

G                                                                                  Em D C G Em D C G

I’m gonna get what I deserve is I leave too much in reserve.  Oh oh oh oh oh

I've noticed we don’t emulate the people that we celebrate.  Oh oh oh oh oh

 

 

C           D Em                     G

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

What is life?  I do not know but I don’t wanna die.

C           D Em

What is life?  I don’t know.

 

D                               C                                       Am

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

Somebody’s doing.  Somebody’s doing. Somewhere somebody’s life’s not a ruin.

C                   D

LIfe’s not a ruin.

 

End on:  G

 

 

Poop Clouds

 

C   G/C C/A  G/A

Well we were lying in a field and staring at the clouds

and telling each other what they looked like

She said, “that cloud over there kinda looks like a mouse”

And I said, “That cloud over there kinda looks like a house.”

And then I started thinking, “ooh ooh ooh”

“You could do the same thing with your poo”

F   / / / /  G / / / /

So I said, “Baby, let’s go poop in the toilet

“Stare at it, and see what it resembles

“If we wipe our butts, the toilet paper should go into a barrell

“Cause if we put it in the toilet it would cover up the poop and ruin everything.”

C   G/C C/A  G/A

It would ruin everything…Everything

Well she wasn’t into it and we broke up

And almost instantly I woke up

F   / / / /  G / / / /

I realized that I never loved her

I went home and pooped and stared at it for hours and hours

C   G/C C/A  G/A

Hours and hours

I stared at it for hours and hours

 

 

Delicate Genius

 

D  D4 D3  D4

I’m gonna name names some day.  I’m gonna hide like a globetrotter

I got mermaid ladies to pay and a lukewarm cup of water

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

Let them vanish in this town

Like a late night idea that I forgot to write down

D  D4 D3  D4

I’m sorry but this ain’t the first.  And you could last much longer with that thirst

He’s kill us if he had the opportunity.  He has connections and immunity

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

We took a hero walk.  We thought out of the box.

And we never lived up to how we talked.  And now those doors are locked.

D  D4 D3  D4

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

That were once wide open and inviting

We’re dividing and fighting, or so that’s what they’re writing

D  D4 D3  D4

And who am I to question what it looks best in as long as it’s not bare

Everybody knows my soul needs clothes.  Blissfully unaware

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

You already mentioned all your tension

It’ll all make sense in a long while when it ends

D  D4 D3  D4

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

And as soon as it does, you forget because

Once it’s a “was” it just repeats again

D  D4 D3  D4

Am / / / / C / / / / G / / / / D / / / /

Am / / / / C / / / / G / / / / / / / /

D  D4 D3  D4

Perhaps you’ve seen us.  I’m the delicate genius. And she’s the millionaire.

We bought a house on an acre.  Ate bread from the baker. Blissfully unaware.

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

Mishistory.  Fake mystery.  And narcissistic allergies.

 

 

D  D4 D3  D4

Like sand and stars and possibilities.

Em7 / / / / G / / / /

The moon was bright by the house of light.

Everything broke just right that night.

D  D4 D3  D4

 

 

I’m The Monster You Created

Bm7 / / E / / F#m7 / / D / /

I’m the monster you created

When you should me something that I’d always been denied

Just a little bit of human kindness

Now I can’t be satisfied

Cause it felt so right.  It was paradise. And you were just being nice.

Temporary reprieve from my lot in life.

 

C#m  / / F#m7 / / E / / / /

It used to be a knowledge that I lacked.  But now I’ve found it and I can’t go back.

 

Bm7 / / E / / F#m7 / / D / /

And I’m the monster you created.  And I’m wondering why you ever would make plans

To go to dinner with any other man.

I’m so jealous of all your other fellas

 

C#m  / / F#m7 / / E / / / /

This is so embarrassing.  I wanna buy you an engagement ring.

 

D / / A/C# / / Bm7 / / / /

Just because you were nice to me one time

D / / A/C# / / Bm7 / / / / E / / / /

Maybe I could present it to you come Valentine’s?

 

F#m7 / / E / / D / / A/C# / /

I’m a cliche, what can I say?  Throw me a bone and I’ll never go away.

Bm7 / / / / E / / / /

Now you’ll probably think twice next time you feel like being nice

 

Bm7 / / E / / F#m7 / / D / /

Cause I’m the monster you created

Just a simple gesture and it spoiled me

Now you’re cursed with my ever-loving loyalty

It would be so nice, it would be so right

If you could just come out with me sometime

Could you  maybe come out with me sometime?

D / / A / / / / /

 

They Thought I Was a Narc at the Hippie Attic

 

THEY THOUGHT I WAS A NARC AT THE HIPPIE ATTIC

G5    Em7 Bm7    Am7

They thought i was a narc at the hippie attic

because my sound was clear, without a speck of static

and i studied my notes before my time

and I had a point and my lyrics rhymed

and I said, “no thanks” when I was offered drugs

and I didn’t blend in to whatever it was

they were going for with their uniformity nonconformity

what were they going for with their uniformity nonconformity?

 

Am7

 

D    Em7  C D

and the guitar man preached dissonance

he said, “you gotta keep them guessing”

But i think that tactic was cause he didn’t practice

and he’d never had a lesson

i’m not trying to say that there’s just one way

there are plenty of ways you bet

but some are too easy

they’re for lazy and crazy people

tennis without a net

 

Am7     D

They thought i was a narc at the hippie attic

they thought i was a narc at the hippie attic

 

C   G/B  Am7

 

G5   Em7 Bm7  Am7

This isn’t any misunderstanding by an uptight guy

one of them pointed at me while i was playing that night

and i was well within earshot as he loudly inquired

is that an undercover agent that the FBI hired?

he didn’t say it as if that was something he admired

an undercover narcotics agent wasn’t something that he seemed to admire

what were they going for with their uniformity nonconformity?

They thought i was a narc at the hippie attic

 

 

Picnic

 

For days I’ve been working here in this kitchen

Way too long, and now I’m itching

For some time away from this place

For a chance to look at your face

In the sunlight.   It’ll be alright

Even if it’s only just for an hour

 

We can pack supplies up in this bag

And write our names down on the tag

Hot food, cold food, what you will

We’ll bring a cooler and a propane grill

We’ll be outdoors.  Watching as the bird soars

And maybe I will even pick you a flower

 

On this picnic with you

On this picnic with you

There’s nothing else I’d rather do

Than this picnic with you

 

We’ll find a cool spot beneath a tree

I’ll smile at you, you’ll smile at me

Sit there breathing in the pure, fresh air

We don’t have to speak, I can just stare

Into your eyes.  And we’ll swat some flies

Make sure they don’t get near our meal

 

 

We can put deli meat on sandwich bread

And keep on eating ‘til we’re fed

I’ll ask you as we sit on a blanket

“Is there any soda left?” you’ll say, “No, I drank it.

“But stay loose.  Cause there’s still some juice”

And really, really happy is how I’ll feel

 

On this picnic with you

On this picnic with you

There’s nothing else I’d rather do

Than this picnic with you

(guitar solo)

On this picnic with you

On this picnic with you

There’s nothing else I’d rather do

Than this picnic with you

 

After the main course, we’ll take a walk

Sit down on a bench and talk

For desert, there’ll be cake with icing

You’ll say you’re on a diet but it’s too enticing

And you’ll take a slice.  It’ll taste so nice

And we’ll say goodbye to the sun, and hello to the moon

 

Once it’s dark, we’ll both know

That it’s getting late, and we’ll have to go

Leave for the birds what we didn’t eat

Get off the blanket and on our feet

I’ll be glad.  But kind of sad

That our picnic had to be over so soon

 

Chocolate Ice Cream

I like chocolate ice cream

But I’ll take vanilla anytime

I’m waiting for my baby

Outside of the five & dime

 

She’ll be looking for a sundae

That she’ll eat most anytime

She really likes her ice cream

That sweet-loving baby of mine

 

Tried chocolate chip and rocky road

Strawberry swirl, but I was told

Honey-baby, can’t you see?

There are only two flavors meant for me

 

I like chocolate ice cream

But I’ll take vanilla anytime

My baby just showed up here

And, boy, she’s looking fine

 

We walk up to the counter

Place an order with the sofd jerk

Ice cream all around him

Boy, he must love his work

 

Tried chocolate chip and rocky road

Strawberry swirl, but I was told

Honey-baby, can’t you see?

There are only two flavors meant for me

 

I like chocolate ice cream

But I’ll take vanilla any day

The jerk gives us the ice cream

And my honey-baby lets me pay

 

I feed her and she feeds me

She looks into my eyes

The ice cream looks so lonely

So I go up to order some fries

 

Tried chocolate chip and rocky road

Strawberry swirl, but I was told

Honey-baby, can’t you see?

There are only two flavors meant for me

 

Tried chocolate chip and rocky road

Strawberry swirl, but I was told

Honey-baby, can’t you see?

There are only two flavors meant for me

 

Then something awful happened

A man came in with a guy

He said, “Give me all your ice cream”

He spoiled all our fun

 

I like chocolate ice cream

But I’ll take vanilla anytime

There is no more chocolate ice cream

Left in the five & dime

I’ve Never Left My Hometown

D / / / Am7 / / / G / / / / D/F# / Em7 /

I’ve never left my hometown.  I’ve never left my hometown

Em  / / / D / / / C / / / G / / /

I’ve never felt lost so I never found

Any good reason to leave this here ground

Em / / / D / / / G / / /

So I’ve never left my hometown

 

D / / / Am7 / / / G / / / / D/F# / Em7 /

I’ve never left my hometown.  I’ve never left my hometown.

Em  / / / D / / / C / / / G / / /

Some need to leave and then come back around

To appreciate the familiar sights smells and sounds

Am7 / / / G/B / / / C / / / / / /

But I’ve always known this place can astound

And pick me back up when I’m feeling down

Em7 / / / D / / /  G / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

So why would I leave my hometown?

Why would I leave my hometown?

 

C / / / / / / G / / / / / /

You’ll never know the whole world, you’ll only know some

But you could know all of the place where you’re from

Am7 / / / G/B / / / C / / / / / /  Am7 / / / G/B / / / C / / / / / / D / / / / / /

Don’t go for many, just go for one.  It’s your only shot at finishing before you’re all done

 

D / / / Am7 / / / G / / / / D/F# / Em7 /

I’ve never left my home town.  I’ve never left my home town

Em  / / / D / / / C / / / G / / /

If I conquered other lands like a king with a crown

And stood next to my queen in her beautiful gown

Am7 / / / G/B / / / C / / / / / /  Am7 / / / G/B / / / C / / / / / / D / / / / / /

I wouldn’t feel like a king, I’d feel like a clown.  I’d be fooling myself if I ever left my hometown.

 

 

Let Me Know How It Goes

A / / / / A7 / / / / D / / / / G / / / /

Let me know how it goes and who shows

And if anybody notices I’m not there

I don’t care

I’m just curious.  Are they furious that I’m staying?

And I’m not playing their games?

I’d like a list of names.

 

E / / / / F#m / / / / E / / / / D / / / / G / / D / / / / / / G / / D / / / / / / G / / D / / / / / /

Thank you for indulging me in my curiosity

I’ve got much more imporatant place I need to be

I need to be I need to be

 

A / / / / A7 / / / / D / / / / G / / / /

I’m sure you see right through me because it’s blatantly clear I’m going crazy here

I wish that I could disappear and then reappear right there

But to do so would be very very

Against my rules, which are arbitrary

But I willingly made the selection

Without too much prior reflection

I’m not the type for defection

Even if it would win me her affection

I’ll only follow my directions

 

E / / / / F#m / / / / E / / / / D / / / / G / / D / / / / / / G / / D / / / / / / G / / D / / / / / /

Thank you for indulging me in my curiosity

I’ve got much more imporatant place I need to be

I need to be I need to be

 

 

FAKE NEWS

Eb6/AbAb                      BbmFm7

this just infirst to report, this is exclusive

she was really with himI was dumb to believe her lame excuses

they’ve been sneakinguntil they were spotted by a journalist

who was right there peekingas he went in for a kiss

Dm7(5b)GCm7Bb

but since there are no action shotsI choose to refuse

AbBbEbG/DFm7Bb

that this is anything other than fake news

 

Eb6/AbAb                      BbmFm7

you’ll have to waitif you’re looking for my reaction

it will be greatwhen you issue your retraction

she has my trustI’ve unsubscribed, I’m not a reader

quit raking up muckgossip column bottom feeder

Dm7(5b)GCm7Bb

but since there are no action shotsI choose to refuse

AbBbEbG/DFm7Bb

that this is anything other than fake news

 

AbGFm7Eb

we’ll hold a press conferenceI’ll declare she has my confidence

G/DCmBbEb

she’s honest and reliableand we’re suing you for libel

G/D  Fm7Bb

 

Eb6/AbAb                      BbmFm7

you’re quite boldarmed with no proof you’ve called me out

but truth be toldsince your report, I’ve had some doubts

I should learnnever to believe the press

don’t ask her to confirmI’m too afraid to that she’ll say yes

 

Dm7(5b)GCm7Bb

but since there are no action shotsI choose to refuse

AbBbEbG/DFm7Bb

that this is anything other than fake news

Bench on Washington Street

 

VERSE:

F / / / /      C / / / /

there’s that bench by the gas stationwashington street

everyday old guys go down there to meet

with their coffee from the D&Ds

Am7 / / / / G  / / / /

inevitably    that’s what we’ll be

 

F / / / / C / / / /

but in the meantime  we should findwhat we can do  

before we give up on our dreamslet’sl try and make them come true     

I’ll go be me, you go be you

Am7 / / / / G  / / / /

whatever happens, we’ll meet back here when we’re through

 

REF:

Dm7   / / / / / / / /

time to break away, make our way

C/E/ / / /G    / / / /

for a few decades, see what we can make

F/ / / / C    / / / /

let our accents fade, get some money saved

G      / / / / / / / /

can’t help but say it feels a little bit fake

Dm7    / / / / / / / /

and whatever heights we manage to reach

C/E / / / /G    / / / /

they won’t compare to 1993

F / / / /   C / / / / G   / / / / / / / /

when they finally let us see what we could see

 

VERSE:

F / / / /      C / / / /

ambitions grow and grow and grow  

until they get as far as they’re gonna go

then it's the retraction        

Am7 / / / / G  / / / /

and we find ourselves back in

 

F / / / /      C / / / /

land and sea with the guys                 

a little more tired and a lot more wize

we scratched the itch, we’re satisfied  

Am7 / / / / G  / / / /

where we belong where we feel right

 

Ref

Dm7   / / / / / / / /

time to break away, make our way

C/E/ / / /G    / / / /

for a few decades, see what we can make

F/ / / / C    / / / /

let our accents fade, get some money saved

G      / / / / / / / /

can’t help but say it feels a little bit fake

Dm7    / / / / / / / /

and whatever heights we manage to reach

C/E / / / /G    / / / /

they won’t compare to 1993

F / / / /   C / / / / G   / / / / / / / /

when they finally let us see what we could see

 

Am/ / / /G   / / / /      F / / / / C/E  / / / /

we had new eyes       and I’lll see you guys

Dm7  / / / / / / / /

on the other side

G    / / / / / / / /C

do what you can till then.

 

Beverly Salem Bridge Party

GAm7   Dm7    C

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

G     Am7 Dm7    C/E G

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

C

they let us dance on the bridge, under the stars

C/Bb

before they opened it up for the cars

FCDm7 C/E

and we danced so hard that the structure swayed!

they told us don’t worry, it was made to shake

G

C

challenge accept, let’s dance some more

C7

let’s make this thing crash into the ocean floor

FCDm7 C/E

so our newfound responsibility

can wash away in the debris in the sea

I’ll take an excuse so I don’t have to choose

GAm7   Dm7    C

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

G     Am7 Dm7    C/E G

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

C

this is what I see in the black and white

C7

this is letting loose not so uptight

FCDm7 C/E

this is friends for life before we’re torn apart

this is always a place inside my heart

GAm7   Dm7    C

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

G     Am7 Dm7    C/E G

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

FAm7

oh what a magical night this is

oh what a magical night this is

we only get one chance as long as we live

FC/EG

to dance like this on the Beverly Salem bridge

 

 

We weren't Joking

 

F

I wasn’t joking then I’m not joking now

I will do what I said soon as I figure out how

CDm7CGm7

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

I wasn’t joking then, I’m just up against

too many doubting friends and mass indifference

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

Am7Dm7

I wasn’t joking when I told her I would follow her anyplace

Am7Gm7

I wasn’t joking but still she laughed right in my face

Am7

Bb

I don’t know how to be rough

I don’t know how to be tough

C

but I know we kept going when the others gave up

Bb

it’s just the halftime break

and I refuse to make

C

the mistake of wasting any second I’m awake

 

I wasn’t joking then, and so before I’m daed

I’d like to follow through on all of the things that I said

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

I see the competition, all tiring

but I’m still on my mission, spite is inspiring

 

I wasn’t joking when I told them about the dream I still believe

I wasn’t joking but they wrote me off as young and naive

 

 

Eastman Gellatin Carnival

 

F                     F4/Bb (repeat)

it’s not Eastman Gellatin, it’s Rousellot

Gm7Dm7     (repeat)

and they stopped the carnival

remember when we all used to go

third week in April

 

no way it could ever get nearer

next stop would be the revere theater

carnies left and carnies right

you could hear them partying late at night

 

C

but when the lights went on they lit up this town

Gm7

there was no other choice, you had to go down

C

win a stuffed toy if you dunk the clown

Bb          F C

Bb          F C

 

tops field fair, couldn’t compare

to the eastman gelatin carnival where

Ian and Josh just left me there

I hardly noticed, and didn’t care

 

jeans full of mud, cracking up

I’ll happily let them feel above

I can be wronged, cause before long

I’ll find a way to use it in a song

 

ref

 

Dm / / / / / Gm7 / / / / / F/A / / / / C

once a year, everybody met

off washington street, where it was always wet

in the april air that didn’t live up to our hopes in march

 

they closed it down while I was out of town

it’s like every time you turn around

things have changed cause someone new is in charge

 

 

Slacking Off / Getting Paid

 

BbEb FEb

Slacking off, getting paid by the hour     slacking off, getting paid by the hour

in at 3, out at 8                     then I’m not going home

I’m staying out late               past the home for the deaf

to sunny side                        roll a few spares

roll a few strikes                   gotta find somebody to give me a lift

just 90 more minutes left in my shift

slacking off, getting paid by the hour    slacking off, getting paid by the hour

Ab               Db

hey hey hey it’s no big loss

if I get found out by my boss

Eb

and he gets mad and I get tossed

AbDb

this waste of time job minimum wage

is just until I turn the page

Eb

graduate, move to the next stage

BbEb FEb

Slacking off, getting paid by the hour      slacking off, getting paid by the hour

no time wasted on the fence                    arrogance and confidence

undeserved, bold and brash                     unaware and unabashed

life’s gonna throw its share of punches     but certainly not half as much as

all those dire warnings           now let’s go run around until night becomes morning!

Slacking off, getting paid by the hour     slacking off, getting paid by the hour

Ab               Db

hey hey hey it’s no big loss

if I get found out by my boss

                                           Eb

and he gets mad and I get tossed

AbDb

this waste of time job minimum wage

is just until I turn the page

                                           Eb

graduate, move to the next stage

REF

Gm7

oh oh pete don’t speak so soon

EbBbF

pickering wharf go get a room

Gm7

she’s his bride and he’s her groom

EbBbF

punch in the face will change your tune  (rep)

BbEb FEb

Slacking off, getting paid by the hour

slacking off, getting paid by the hour

 

 

Creeps

 

C / / / / / Dm7 /

Am7 / / / / /  G / F / / / / / Am7 / C / / / / G /

 

Will farewell at emerson park

Troy driving round in his ice cream truck

what goes on here after dark

townies give up, townies get stuck

 

pickering wharf, gallows hill

JB thomas, all there still

go to lynn woods if you wanna get killed

i used to feel safe until

 

G/B / / / / F / / / / C/E / / / / Dm7 / / / /

I found that when the weird aren’t working

they head to the shadows to do their lurking

and they’re practicing and they’re rehearsing

eyes wide open, always searching

 

C / / / / / Dm7 /

Am7 / / / / /  G / F / / / / / Am7 / C / / / / G /

 

Fr. Tim the Chaplin,

gonna take off your shirt if you get close to him

creepy driving teacher says take a right

I get good channels on my satellite

 

every friendly face is just a lying in wait

for the chance to pounce and seal our fate

we got out—more like chased

i didn’t look so close at my next place

 

F / / / / / / / / / / C / / / / G/B / / / /

oh jeremiah! oh jermiah!

why you gotta dance so close to the fire?

 

 

A Nod to the Gods

 

VERSE:

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

hearts break I feel so bad      ya’ll know what I mean

major disappointmentreenacted on a screen

with a nod to the gods           and too much empathy

a genuine old fashionedbout of insecurity

 

REFRAIN:

C   / / / / / / / /G           / / / / / / / /

do you like the road do you like the charm?do you like the way you feel in my arms?

Dm7     / / / / / / / /Am7     / / / / / / / /

do you like the tension of adviceI like the sugar, do you like the spice

C / / / / / / / / G        / / / / / / / /

do you like to lead? if so I’ll followthe fish fry is tomorrow

Dm7    / / / / / / / /Am7   / / / / / / / /

i’ll harmed if there’s a fightso we should move away tonight

G/B     / / /    C / / / / /    D / / / /

It’s the Q Document

It’s the argument from Ignorance

 

VERSE:

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

I’m having trouble reconciling with my own private island

there is no alliance I”m not lying

you won’t like my creationwith such high expectations

there’s no anticipationof appreciation

 

REFRAIN:

C   / / / / / / / /G           / / / / / / / /

do you like the road do you like the charm?do you like the way you feel in my arms?

Dm7     / / / / / / / /Am7     / / / / / / / /

do you like the tension of adviceI like the sugar, do you like the spice

C / / / / / / / / G        / / / / / / / /

do you like to lead? if so I’ll followthe fish fry is tomorrow

Dm7    / / / / / / / /Am7   / / / / / / / /

i’ll harmed if there’s a fightso we should move away tonight

G/B     / / /    C / / / / /    D / / / /

It’s the Q Document

It’s the argument from Ignorance

 

BRIDGE:

Em / / / / / / / / D   / / / / / / / /

lucky me that I should beforced to recount your misery

C   / / / / / / / / G/B  / / / / / / / /

combining brutal honestywith hope peace and tranquility

Am / / / / / / / /  D  / / / / / / / /

that’s a lot to askwe’ll see if I”m up to the task

 

Verse (twice through with no lyrics)

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

 

REFRAIN:

C   / / / / / / / /G           / / / / / / / /

do you like the road do you like the charm?do you like the way you feel in my arms?

Dm7     / / / / / / / /Am7     / / / / / / / /

do you like the tension of adviceI like the sugar, do you like the spice

C / / / / / / / / G        / / / / / / / /

do you like to lead? if so I’ll followthe fish fry is tomorrow

Dm7    / / / / / / / /Am7   / / / / / / / /

i’ll harmed if there’s a fightso we should move away tonight

G/B     / / /    C / / / / /    D / / / /

It’s the Q Document

It’s the argument from Ignorance

G/B     / / /    C / / / / /    D / / / /

It’s the Q Document

It’s the argument from Ignorance

 

Verse (twice through with no lyrics)

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

G  / / /            Em7 / / / / /         F / / /     Dm7 / / / / /

 

 

We Are Our Own Beasts

 

E7    Am G/B   C

Dm  C G/B   Am G

this intermission’s gonna be our fatal flaw

and I’ll cry watching you shine

indecision is the brutal truth I saw

but could not quite stop in time

 

C  / / / / / / / / / /

 

E7    Am G/B   C

Dm  C G/B   Am G

my confessions for some direction

is a trade I’d make at least

send the jury back in session

we are our own beast

 

C / / / / / / / / /

 

ref:

F      E7 Am    G F C/E   G

thought I was flying like a tercel

but I was just a dress rehearsal

you never even  needed practice

you were born good at this

C

 

E7    Am G/B   C

Dm  C G/B   Am G

C

ORGAN SOLO

 

ref

 

coda:

 

G/B         Dm7 G     C/E

NO MINDS ARE CHANGED        several times then:

G/B          Dm7 G    E7/G# Am G     Dm7 G C

                       and I’d gladly rearrange whatever caused us to be estranged

 

 

Full Stop

 

C#m7         B F#m7        E/G# A E  B

 

 

Gentle Glenn

D / / / / / / /

A / / / D / / / G / / / D / / /

i need occasionally

to pack up and set the oxen free

realign my paradigm

em7           a

from time to time

D

 

cause there’s a stillness in this town

that does’t run all all that deep down

oh oh mary joe

I’ll stop by before I go

 

GF#m

i’ll keep my pilliow behind your couch

EmD

just as long as you won’t say ouch

C

when I sting

A

and I’ll sting

 

and your life won’t seem all that drab

when I unroll that sleeping bag

it’ll sting

but I’ll sing

 

em

i feel shallow inspiration

d

when I look into your

a

eyes

em

I come home from my vacation

d

feeling actualized

a

d

 

my scorched earth lo fi destination

does not jibe with your imagination

but you don’ have a choice

so you run when you hear my voice

 

and I’m not much of a comfort creature

but I’ll take when I get when I come to meet ya

your crisis of faith

is something that will have to wait

 

 

Year After Year

 

GO
A / / / / / / / /
D / / / / G / / / /

F#m / /  D / / A / /
E / / / / / /


please oh please have mercy on me
sing with me this sweet melody
but beware
it’ll be in your ear
year after year

 

 

WATER FLOWER

 

C                Am

you are a water flower

Dm             C/E F         G

and I”m your gnome and I want you to take me home

 

you give me power

but tonight there’ll be no necking because the old lady’s checking

c

Oh mary joe you’re so pretty…won’t you come with me to the windy city

 

Dm       C                        am G

I’ve never been good at this    and i’m too proud to practice

F                    C/E    Dm G

goodness gracious you’re so pretty.  come with me to the windy city

 

you are a water flower

and I’m your boy.  and my joy brings you joy

 

you, can you spare an hour?

the old lady’s at a meeting, let’s do some love seating

 

Dm       C                        am G

I’ve never been good at this    and i’m too proud to practice

F                    C/E    Dm G

goodness gracious you’re so pretty.  come with me to the windy city

 

F

let me be your love, and your provider

C G

just say stay away from that no good spider

F

I’m a dreamer, you’re my song

CG

it’s ok if you tag along

 

oh you are a water flower

I’m heading where it’s dry, but we’ll find a way to survive

 

old lady, will you please allow her

to do two, they say one’ll be neglected, but when I’m through they’ll say they stand corrected

 

HEAD ON FIRE / A LITTLE SPARK

 

A   A/C#    Dmaj7 Dmaj7/B

All it takes is a spark light surrounded by dark

I can see you standing there

the flame licks and flickers it starts slow then gets quicker

as you run your hand through my hand

 

E    D/F#   A Bm  A/C# D      Bm

you leaned in close, an assassin for hire

you leaned in close and lit my head on fire

the situation’s dire oh oh

 

verse:

I think I”m in love love love

I think i’m in love love love

 

I wiped my eyes and cleared the ash

saw my heart was in the trash

i guess you were playing a game

i thought you better than the masses

should have made you take off your glasses

then I’d see you have no shame

 

you leaned in close, i didn’t think you’d do it

you leaned in close said there was nothing to it

the spark was lit, and my head went up in smoke a bit

 

thought i was in love love love

thought i was in love love love

 

 

Worship The Vassal

 

C/G    / / / /     G / / / /

Heart may burst -- nothing worse

Battering ram, and empty hearse

Sounds so nice, sound advice

I’m a louse and we are lice

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

 

Em   / / / / / / / /    Am / / / / / / / /

Social climbers, all the old-timers

Blown out Americana

Career attacker, CB feedbacker

Blown out Americana

 

C/G    / / / /     G / / / /

Second rate first date

Came home late and dad’s irate

Low fi destination

Big screen laceration

Vicious celebrations

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

 

Em   / / / / / / / /    Am / / / / / / / /

Crooked fault lines, sign of the times

Blown out Americana

Basement dwellars, rooftop yellers

Blown out Americana

 

C/G    / / / /     G / / / /

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal,  Whoa oh oh oh Worship the Vassal

 

Em   / / / / / / / /    Am / / / / / / / /

Misalligned, nothing left behind

Blown out Americana

So secure, love so pure

Blown out Americana

 

The Definition of Insanity

 

Db6    Bbm7  Ebm7 Ab9

they say the definition of insanity

Db6   Dbdim7   Ebm7 Ab7

is to try something, then fail, and then repeat

Db6   Bbm7 F     Gb

that’s one way to look at it, but I do not agree

Ebm7       Ab

with that philosophy

 

Db6    Bbm7  Ebm7 Ab9

sure bumping up against that wall is gonna lead to hurting

Db6   Dbdim7   Ebm7 Ab7

but it’s not so bad when you are absolutely certain

Db6   Bbm7 F     Gb

and you’re all in—you’re not just flirting’

Ebm7       Ab

keep banding and the wall becomes a curtain

 

GbDbEbm7                 Ab

i got surety      I got purity          I got a plan,       Just wait and see

it’d be a shame   and I’d be to blame   if I closed up shop before they came

 

Gb       Db/F  F7              Bbm Bb(minor)maj7/A Bbm7/Ab  Gb

someday everyone is gonna know my name

 

Ebm7                    Ab                                        Db

causer in the face of failure my path stayed the same

 

 

Perfect Crime (Follow Alex)

 

C                        Am7

Catherine Russell is just like the sun

G                       F

Getting up every morning to do what she’s done

 

pretty much every day in about the same way

but instead of heating up there world,

 

            Dm7             G

she’s in a play  it’s called Pefect Crime

Every week,            she performs it 8 times

 

F                  C/E Dm7             C

And she doesn’t get the blues

while reading the reviews

on yelp or in the news

cause she’s got too much to do

she’s not of the generation

that needs constant validation

she’s happy in her station

            G

working hard on her creation

 

and one last thing, reply all listners

you should follow alex goldman on twitter

 

C            Am7   G F

he requested that I sing this, as PJ did before

and I’ll happily comply cause I always want

 

Dm7               G

more work to do

I wanna keep at it

I wanna hustle

F                         C/E Dm7

just like the main topic of this song

 

Catherine Russell

 

Great Unfinished Masterpiece

intro:

Bm7                E

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

Chaucer Thought he’d failed with his Canterbury Tales

Bm7                                         E

The pilgrims were to have four stories each

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

He did not come close.  Yet still it’s known by most

Bm7                                         A E/G#

As his great unfinished masterpiece

F#m               D E

It makes people cry it makes people laugh

The tales of the knight and the wife of bath

F#m       E/G# A       Bm7 A/C# D       E

Every stanza, every word, ever letter.  Because it’s incomplete somehow it’s better

 

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

Brian wilson worked a while, at his album Smile

Bm7                                         E

Until it seemed too hard to slay that beast

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

It remained revered for years and years and years

Bm7                                         A E/G#

As his great unfinished masterpiece

F#m               D E

But then he resurrected, what he had neglected

It was unfinished no more so it lost its allure

F#m       E/G# A       Bm7 A/C# D       E

For when we get every bit from start to finish, there’s no magic and it’s tragic, it’s diminshed

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

How does this apply, my dear, to you and I

Bm7                                         E

And Our torrid love affair that was so brief

A                      D C#m7               F#m7

Should we reignite or would it not be right

Bm7                                         A E/G#

To mess with our unfinished masterpiece

F#m               D E

We were younger, we had hunger

How we laughed and how we cried

How could we bring that back?  

HOw could we be satisfied

F#m       E/G# A       Bm7 A/C# D       E

Dear oh ear, what will we decide?  I gues you never know until you’ve tried.

 

Relievio

 

F   / / / /   G7 / / / /

Relievio oh oh, run from team two

Count to a hundred, they come get you

Take you to jail, but worry not

I’ll break you out and I won’t get caught

Relievio.  Relievio. Relievio.  Relievio. Relievio.

 

       Dm7  / / / / / / / /   C / / / / G / / / /

And it doesn’t get any better than this

On a hot summer night 1986

Nobody’s quite sure where I am

By the criss-cross shadows and the rocks by the dam

I was the youngest, but I fit in fine

Until they grew up and left me behind

And I’m still holding out.  Yes I’m still holding out.

 

     F / / / /  C/E / / / /  Dm / / / / Am7 / / / /

They were always there, I don’t recall befriending

Or a game ever starting our a game ever ending

Just always going, like it should

In the neighborhood and in the woods

Relievio.  Relievio. Relievio.  Relievio.

The window closed.  I wasn’t yet cold.

Now I still long, no matter how old

You can’t decide when you are born

It was a real short time but a perfect storm

Relievio.  Relievio.

 

F   / / / /   G7 / / / /

Relievio oh oh, run from team two

Count to a hundred, they come get you

Take you to jail, but worry not

I’ll break you out and I won’t get caught

Relievio.  Relievio. Relievio.  Relievio. Relievio.

 

CAll Me Boof Boof 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Call me Boof Boof, Call me late from prison 

Call me next time before you make a decision 

Boil macaroni just how I like 

Let me put the chain back onto your bike 

D C 

I’ll be boof boof I’ll be bulletproof 

I’ll be boof boof in the photo booth 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Call me boof boof and I give you music 

Carry my bag and you can’t refuse it 

Follow me upstairs to my loft 

Next to the farm go water the crops 

D C 

I’ll be boof boof I’ll be living proof 

I’ll be boof boof in the photo booth 

Bm 

Boof Boof  - DOMINO!     Boof Boof - DOMINO! 

Am 

Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Domino! 

Bm 

Boof Boof  - DOMINO!     Boof Boof - DOMINO! 

Am 

Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Domino! 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Call me boof boof, Call me F for Fake 

Sleep in our clothes til we’re not awake 

Call me what you want my identity 

Recognize my voice so you know that it’s me 

D C 

I’ll be boof boof I’ll be living proof 

I’ll be boof boof in the photo booth 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Bm 

Boof Boof  - DOMINO!     Boof Boof - DOMINO! 

Am 

Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Domino! 

Bm 

Boof Boof  - DOMINO!     Boof Boof - DOMINO! 

Am 

Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Boof Domino! 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Call me Boof Boof call me hot day burst 

Old lady watching and scorch the earth 

Your bike will be fixed on June the 5th 

Til then you’re walking and I’ll come along with 

D C 

I’ll be boof boof I’ll be living proof 

I’ll be boof boof in the photo booth 

I’ll be boof boof I’ll be living proof 

I’ll be boof boof in the photo booth 

Treb:  G  G    E      D   C   B   G 

           D  D   C       B   A   G   D 

Bass:  G       Am     G 

Call me boof boof.  Call me Boof Boof. 

Charles Darwin: Good Scientist Guy! 

G / / Dsus4 / / Em / / C / / 

Oh! Charles Darwin, what a good scientist! 

Evolution in the Galapagos 

Riding on the Beagle, Looking at the animals 

Looking at the fossils, coming up with theories 

Charles Darwin, what a smart person! 

Had a big theory about the evolution 

He started thinking, looking at stuff 

He started thinking, “maybe we came from the apes 

I don’t know, it’s just a theory 

But I was thinking that it might be true” 

And all of the people saying “Charles Darwin, what you talking about? 

We’re not apes!  How could you say that about human being? 

You’re a bad person!”  La la la la la 

But then all the people started thinking about Darwin 

People started thinking, “Maybe Darwin is correct.” 

Darwin was like, “You bet I am correct!  I am a genius!”  La la la la la 

Charles Darwin, riding on the beagle 

Looking at the animals 

Thinking all about them 

Coming up with theories about evolution 

Natural selection. La la la la la la la la la 

I Got a Promotion at Work 

A / / / /   D / / / /  C / / / /  G / / / / 

Oh yeah!  I got a promotion!  My boss told that I’ve been doing a very good job. 

I’m gonna get more pay, more responsibility. 

I am so invested in my career and I am so happy. 

Yeah yeah!  I got a promotion.  My boss said, “Dude, you’re going such a very good job 

“You’re making lots of money for the company 

“And we want to reward you for that. 

“We’re gonna give you more money and give you a new title.” 

I am so happy cause I got a promotion. 

My boss is so proud of me.  I wanna make my boss so proud everyday. 

Uh Huh!  I am a company man.  I do what I can for this company to thrive. 

And the company has repaid me by giving me a promotion. 

I’m so happy.  I cannot wait to come home and tell my wife, 

“Honey, I got a promotion.  My paycheck’s gonna be bigger than it used to be.” 

Uh Huh!  Uh Huh!  Yeah! 

Between the Echo 

Verse:    G / / / / / / / / D / / / / / / / / Em / / / / / / / / C / / / / / / / / 

Get ready, get set, go.  Between the echo 

There ain’t no point to living less you’re screaming out yolo 

You be living like chewie or dead like han solo 

Screaming “Yes, ok, sure, oh, one more, come on, and hello” 

What’s the point of stopping when everything is going fine 

Go and look at what’s behind you, people waiting in line 

You’ve got this opportunity knocking to the beat of this rhyme 

But you’re standing in the mirror wasting valuable time 

You’ve gotta hit the ground running not too fast, find a cadence 

Then turn on your jets and let loose, it’s time to lose all patience 

Fly faster than you’ve gone before, ignore the plea for silence 

Kiss goodbye your brother sister cousins friends and both your parents 

Now it’s time to clap, now roll up the windows 

Turn the AC on and take a deep breath through your nose 

It’s the calm before the storm so loosen up your muscles 

It’s never been easy, life is one big hustle 

Refrain:  C / / / / D / / / /  Em / / / / G/B / / / /  C / / / / D / / / / G / / / / / 

Oh oh standing pat in a maze, Just waiting for something good to pass my way 

 C / / / / D / / / /  Em / / / / G/B / / / /  C / / / / D / / / / 

Oh oh it’s a long lonely day, just waiting on my chance to join the frey 

Explode!  Now turn the music higher 

No one’s watching you, they’re staring at a shooting ball of fire 

They don’t believe it. There’s nothing in your way 

Just a bunch of burned-out carcasses leftover on a plate 

It’s 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock, 4 

When life’s knocked you down and kicked you out the door 

It’s time to brush off the dirt and get ready for more 

Scream at yourself, “Go” til your throat’s gone sore 

There’s no secret to life or cure for the pain 

It’s a series of beatings to say “please hit me again” 

It’s a joy to be alive, awake, singing insane 

If you find yourself in trouble hold and wait for the refrain 

Refrain, then instrumental verse for a while 

Doin’ Heroin Alone 

Am / / / / / /  Dm / / / / / / C / / / / / / Am / / / / / / 

There are souls of ivory and nails in my heart 

I think I need to ….. Throw that one out there 

Don’t remind me.  Don’t start. 

I hoped you wouldn’t. 

Are you ready? 

Quiet longing.  Don’t let me be a song in the crowd 

Tell me to be free 

Quiet longing.  Desperate hours. 

Take it again.  Somebody cowers. 

I see the light.  Laughter is here.  Take it alone.  Take it in the mirror. 

Goodbye for now.  Tomorrow is soon. 

Pale grey morning.  A summer afternoon. 

Quiet longing.  Don’t let me be a song in the crowd 

Tell me to be free 

Quiet longing.  Desperate hours.  Take it again.  Somebody cowers. 

Baseball Song 

Treble:  jam with the following notes:   G A E D C 

Bass throughout:     F F  G A     C D E    E D C A 

Baseball!  What a fun game! 

Baseball!  I love to play! 

The pitcher throws the ball and the catcher catches it 

Unless the batter gets a hit 

It’s called baseball, you got 9 guys on the field 

You got a pitcher and a catcher and a 3rd and a 2nd and a 1st basemen and a shortstop too 

You got a right fielder. You got a left fielder.  You got a centerfielder as well. 

Oh yeah!  You got the manager, telling everybody what they’ve got to do. 

I love baseball!  Yes I do.  It’s such a wonderful game. 

The boys of summer running all over the field and having a grand old time! 

It’s called baseball!  Oh yeah it’s called baseball! 

I love to play baseball it’s a wonderful game, oh yes it is. 

Baseball’s like the greatest game in the world and I love to play it all the time. 

I love to throw the ball back and forth with my friends when we can’t put together a full team 

I love to play baseball, uh huh. 

Baseball is wonderful and I like it very much. 

I love to play baseball!  It’s such a good sport! 

I love to pitch and I love to hit and I love to catch. 

It’s baseball.  The umpire calls the balls and the strikes 

3 strikes--you’re out.  4 balls--it’s a walk 

Oh yeah, it’s called baseball.  They play 9 innings. 

If the team that’s home is winning they don’t bother playing the bottom of the 9th 

Loring Ave 

Verse: 

D //////// //////// //////// ////////  Em7 //////// //////// D //////// //////// 

Pondering what I could not have, all alone on Loring ave. 

Wishing we could share a laugh instead of always facing facts 

I’ll concede that I’m non-existent, just don’t call me inconsistent 

Refrain: 

A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / 

I’ll be the butt of your jokes but I’ll still be polite when we’re with your folks 

I would slide down your banister if it could take us back to where we were 

Verse: 

I saw a stranger in the shadows hiding, I told him that’s no place to be residing 

He said, You’re right, I guess.  He grabbed his things and he left 

I’ll concede that I’m non-existent, just don’t call me inconsistent 

It’s simple but it still causes confusion.  We can’t see one another’s delusions 

But is there anything wrong with agreeing to play along? 

He said, You’re right, I guess.  He grabbed his things and he left 

I’ll concede that I’m non-existent, just don’t call me inconsistent 

Refrain: 

A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / 

I’ll be the butt of your jokes but I’ll still be polite when we’re with your folks 

I would slide down your banister if it could take us back to where we were 

I’ll be the butt of your jokes but I’ll still be polite when we’re with your folks 

I would slide down your banister if it could take us back to where we were 

Verse (instrumental): 

D //////// //////// //////// ////////  Em7 //////// //////// D //////// //////// 

Refrain: 

A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / A / / / / / / / / G / / / / / / / / 

I’ll be the butt of your jokes but I’ll still be polite when we’re with your folks 

I would slide down your banister if it could take us back to where we were 

I’ll be the butt of your jokes but I’ll still be polite when we’re with your folks 

I would slide down your banister if it could take us back to where we were 

Verse (instrumental): 

D //////// //////// //////// ////////  Em7 //////// //////// D //////// //////// 

They’re Already Nostalgic 

F     C/E  Dm7  C         G/B    Am7  G 

oh, it’s tragic                       they're already nostalgic 

and settled and frozen        can’t believe it’s what they've chosen 

no reason for seizing           they plain gave away your freedom 

to do as they're told              straight from young to old 

Dm7  Am7  G/B   Am7 

and I won’t sign that line I’m fine         all we have is time and I’m keeping mine 

Dm7        Am7      G/B     F     C/E 

and she can have him and he can have her  and they can go to bed being secure 

Dm7                  Am7               G 

sleepign tight with no fight 

sleeping tight with no fight 

F     C/E  Dm7  C         G/B    Am7  G 

tanned rested and ready                our own brenda and eddie 

concessions, concessions             it doesn’t pay to ask questions 

and I can’t bare to see                    comfort and complacency 

in this case, especially                   cause I’ve seen that energy 

Dm7  Am7  G/B  Am7 

I would play second fiddle 

but I won’t surrender to the middle   (repeat) 

Dm7        Am7      G/B     F     C/E 

and she can have him and he can have her  and they can go to bed being secure 

Dm7                  Am7               G 

sleepign tight with no fight 

sleeping tight with no fight 

Let’s Climb the Roof, OK? 

C / / / / / /  Dm / / / / / /  C/E / / / / / /  F / / / / / / 

Let’s climb on the roof and look at the sky 

Just like the movies.  Just you and I. 

We’ll deeply converse about philosophy 

I’ll be falling for you.  You’ll be falling for me. 

Yes that would be nice. 

It’d be quite alright. 

Staring at the stars on a Saturday night. 

But things could go wrong.  The roof might not be safe. 

And I might have trouble keeping a straight face 

As you blather on about philosophy. 

I wouldn’t want to let on how much I disagree. 

But I wouldn’t be able to hold my thoughts in 

And the magic would end as soon as I begin 

Correcting you and the dumb stuff you said 

On second thoughts, honey, let’s break up instead 

Adios, lady. 

I Am The King Of Late Night 

D / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / 

D / / / / / / / / G / / / / Em / / / / 

i am the king of late night. this is my empire of dark 

you are my sulfur queen.  the slightest touch and there’s a spark 

there can be no retelling of this erstwhile phenomenon, this encounter so close 

or emotions on the back porch, that were possibly overheard by our host 

bm7 E 

let’s curb the suggestions 

and disturbing questions 

G A          D Em 

And just agree  this is between  to keep this between you and me 

G A D 

Let’s agree to keep this bewteen You and Me 

D / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / 

D / / / / / / / / G / / / / Em / / / / 

I am the king of late night.  As the sun rises, my empire fades 

We retreat from the heat beneath the weeping willow’s shade 

My ominous answers are truth in disguise 

To purposely questions through steely cold eyes 

The darkness i hide in is hidden by lies 

bm7 E 

let’s curb the suggestions 

and disturbing questions 

G A          D Em 

And just agree  this is between  to keep this between you and me 

G A D 

Let’s agree to keep this bewteen You and Me 

C / / / / / / / /     G / / / / / / / / / / 

Oh oh Oh oh See the stars let’s start the show 

C / / / / / / / /   Em / / / /   A / / / / 

Oh oh oh oh let’s go oh  oh 

D / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / 

D / / / / / / / / G / / / / Em / / / / 

i am the king of late night. this is my empire of dust 

You’er my shifty queen, quickly losing all my trust 

The truth in the stars in the back of the car was taken too far 

How’s about I stay where I am and you stay where you are 

bm7 E 

let’s curb the suggestions 

and disturbing questions 

G A          D Em 

And just agree  this is between  to keep this between you and me 

G A D 

Let’s agree to keep this bewteen You and Me 

Empathy 

Treble:  jam on blue scale in C 

Bass: 

CC     EE      GG   A    CC      AA      GG    A 

CC     EE      GG   A    CC      AA      GG    A 

CC     EE      GG   A    CC      AA      GG    A 

Bb A G      Bb A G  A        Eb Eb   D    C   D C 

I can feel what you feel.  Cause I’ve got empathy. 

Yes I can feel what you feel.  I’ve got incredible empathy. 

Yes, I’ve got the capacity to experience life from your frame of reference 

I’ve got such amazing empathy. 

Uh Huh!  I’m gonna hug you because you look like you need a hug 

You wonder how did I know that?  It’s because I’ve got incredible empathy. 

Oh oh empathy.  Oh oh empathy.  I have got such amazing empathy. 

I know what’s going on.  I understand you just by looking at you. 

Cause I got empathy, empathy, oh oh empathy.  Oh yeah empathy. 

I’ve got some emotional contagion if you know what I mean. 

Oh yes.  I’ve got empathy.  I’ve got pity. 

I feel so bad for you.  I’m gonna fix up your problems.  I just look at you and I understand everything. 

Because of my empathy.  Oh yeah.  I’m gonna fix you. 

And all of your emotional turbulance! 

Crossroads 

Intro:  E (add4)   / / / / / / / /  A / / / / B / / / / 

Verse:  E / / / / / / / / A / / / / B / / / 

Pass it up                       so I can get my hit 

Need some water          And I’ve just got to sit 

Refrain: E (add4)   / / / / / / / /  A / / / / B / / / / 

I’m standing at a crossroad I don’t know which way to go down 

I’m standing at a crossroad will you catch me when I come down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, can you get this thing to slow down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, I don’t know which way to go down 

Verse:  E / / / / / / / / A / / / / B / / / 

Someone said,                 “Let’s go to the arcade” 

Made me nervous            When I saw that blocade 

Refrain: E (add4)   / / / / / / / /  A / / / / B / / / / 

I’m standing at a crossroad I don’t nkow which way to go down 

I’m standing at a crossroad will you catch me when I come down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, can you get this thing to slow down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, I don’t know which way to go down 

Bridge: 

D     / / / /        C         / / / /        A  / / / / / / / / 

Down to the bridge we’ll go 

D / / / /            C / / / /       B / / / /   A / / / / 

No one there we’ll know 

Verse:  E / / / / / / / / A / / / / B / / / 

Woke up in someone else’s bed 

Saw a girl, can’t get her out of my head 

Refrain: E (add4)   / / / / / / / /  A / / / / B / / / / 

I’m standing at a crossroad I don’t nkow which way to go down 

I’m standing at a crossroad will you catch me when I come down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, can you get this thing to slow down 

I’m standing at a crossroad, I don’t know which way to go down 

Didn’t Come Here Not To Fight 

B //// //// ////   A // B // 

you got no business getting up in my business, ain’t got no blame 

fall down hard, skin your knee in the yard, look at you now, life’s never the same 

D   ////                   G           //         A   // 

tried it once or twice but it never sufficed 

got beat into the ground within an inch of my life 

I’ll be staring down the barrel or be holding a knife 

D //////// 

come and try and take me down I didn’t come here not to fight 

B //// //// ////   A // B // 

time takes no prisoners, I got no well wishers, can’t get out of the rain 

smile while I take your picture, if the flash come and hit ya, you can hide the profane 

find what you want, I won’t try and stop you, just stay out of my way 

mind all your manners, innocent bystanders living one more day 

D   ////                   G           //         A   // 

tried it once or twice but it never sufficed 

got beat into the ground within an inch of my life 

I’ll be staring down the barrel or be holding a knife 

D //////// 

come and try and take me down I didn’t come here not to fight 

D   ////                   G           //         A   // 

tried it once or twice but it never sufficed 

got beat into the ground within an inch of my life 

I’ll be staring down the barrel or be holding a knife 

D //////// 

come and try and take me down I didn’t come here not to fight 

Instrumental solo: 

B //// //// ////   A // B // 

B //// //// ////   A // B // 

B //// //// ////   A // B // 

come to the end of the line, grab your nickles and dimes, better run around free 

time to hit the stop sign, take what’s yours and mine, give the truth to me 

waiting for the clock to strike, ride a 2 wheel bike and send all of them home 

no complaints, just us freaky saints, here comes a choir of moans 

Heated Mattress 

F / /   G / /   Em / /   Am / / 

F / /   G / /   Em / /   Am / / 

F / /   G / /    Em / /    Am / / 

G / / / /           / / / / 

Cold night, it’s just not right 

Feeling chilly when I’m trying to sleep tight 

Lucikly there’s something I can do about my plight 

Plug it in and turn it on 

Heated mattress keeps me warm til dawn 

Heat comes up from way down deep 

And it stays trapped beneath my blanket and my sheets 

Heated matter 

Heated mattress 

Heated mattree 

Hey hey hey it’s the best 

I’d be depressed if my mattress 

Shared the room’s temperature as I undressed 

For a winter night’s rest, say my prayers--not blessed 

Very next day I’d be on a quest 

Plug it in and turn it on 

Heated mattress keeps me warm til dawn 

Heat comes up from way down deep 

And it stays trapped beneath my blanket and my sheets 

Plug it in and turn it on 

Heated mattress keeps me warm til dawn 

Heat comes up from way down deep 

And it stays trapped beneath my blanket and my sheets 

It’s a Shame That I Let You Down 
D 
It’s a shame that I let you down         We had a good run but now we’re done 
G 
seems you had a time     But it’s not like I can read your 
A 
mind - with each 2nd the truth gets harder to find 
D 
it’s a shame that I let you down        sugar ice tea, girl you're feisty 
G 

i don’t regret my decision            except when I hear it through your revision 
A 

Oh My, this is one deep division 
D 

G                                                       D A 
you stepped on the acceleration       and all over my reputation 
you’d be so pleased by what I’m facing       with every girl I’m chasing 

D  /   G  /   A 

G                                                       D A 
you stepped on the acceleration      and now i owe an explanation 
G                                                       D A 
to every single girl I chasin'          before she considers coming to my place ’n’ 
G                         A 
meanwhile you seem so complacent    with your beau who stands adjacent 
Em7                                                              G A 
and I wonder how you could really be doing      if your sole focus is my ruin 

i’ll try again if that’s what your wantin    you’ve already poisoned all the other options 

D 
It’s a shame that I let you down     We had a good run, we had a lot of fun 
G 
seems you had a time. 
A 
But it’s not like I can read your mind - with each 2nd the truth gets farther behind 
D 
It’s a shame that I let you down some night on the town I’ll see you when I turn around 
G A 

and if I’m wise, I’ll finally apologize  splash a little water first in my eyes 
D 

G 
it that doesn’t propel us to our former glory 
D A 
at least let it stop you spreading those stories 
G A 
to every girl in town!               It’s a shame that I let you down! 
D 
sugar iced tea 
girl you’re feisty 

Pickle Sandwich 

F#     E      D D D     E 

F#     E     D D D     A   D 

Who’s got a pickle sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Who’s got a pickle sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Who wants a pickle sandwich?  I wana a pickle sandwich! 

Who’s got a picklke sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Pickles, pickles, in my head 

Slice ‘em up thin and put them on bread 

Just like your mama always said 

If you don’t eat pickles, you wind up dead! 

Who’s got a pickle sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Who’s got a pickle sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Who wants a pickle sandwich?  I wanna a pickle sandwich! 

Who’s got a picklke sandwich?  I got a pickle sandwich! 

Chopping The Bop 

D  //            Em7/D  // 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

A / / / / / / / /       G / / / / / / / / /                       D //     Em7/D //   E//    Em7/D // 

I wanna drive   I wanna come back alive 

A / / / / / / / /         G / / / / / / / / 

I wanna drive     I wanna do the jiggle jive 

D  //            Em7/D  // 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

A / / / / / / / /       G / / / / / / / / /                       D //     Em7/D //   E//    Em7/D // 

I wanna lie    in a lumpy lumpy bed of ice 

A / / / / / / / /         G / / / / / / / /                                    D //     Em7/D //   E//    Em7/D // 

I wanna lie       but my mamma told me that ain’t nice 

Bm / / / /  C / / / /  G / / / /  D/F# / / / / 

Dance with your slappy cause it make you so happy 

Dance with your willow then a sleep on your pillow 

Sing like a saver then watch your behavior 

Em7 / / / /    A / / / /    Em7 / / / /   A / / / / 

I don’t know. I don’t know.  I don’t know.  I don’t know. 

D  //            Em7/D  // 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

A / / / / / / / /       G / / / / / / / / /                       D //     Em7/D //   E//    Em7/D // 

She’s not trying to do the dandelion 

A / / / / / / / /         G / / / / / / / /                                    D //     Em7/D //   E//    Em7/D // 

She’s done crying about her stinky piece of iron 

Bm / / / /  C / / / /  G / / / /  D/F# / / / / 

Dance with your slappy cause it make you so happy 

Dance with your willow then a sleep on your pillow 

Sing like a saver then watch your behavior 

Em7 / / / /    A / / / /    Em7 / / / /   A / / / / 

I don’t know. I don’t know.  I don’t know.  I don’t know. 

D  //            Em7/D  // 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

She can’t stop chopping the bop.  She can’t stop chopping the bop. 

When The Beat Get Settled 

A 

Faceplant in the basement.  Might I offer a replacement? 

You’re through with dudes from the base camp. 

You made it through without a tramp stamp. 

F#m A 

I’m proud of you, mostly   Come here pick up your trophy 

F#m E 

You are a masterpiece and a catastrophe, and I’ll always catch what you throw on me. 

A 

Hot night.  Not nice.  Not quite. 

I think you’ve been here once or twice 

When you’re mama’s around, we’ll be polite.  But your  mama can’t be around all night. 

F#m A 

You are a masterpiece.  I sailed the 7 seas 

F#m E 

And yet I’ve never seen what you’re throwing on me. 

D / / / / / / / / /         E / / / / / /  / 

Come on come on, put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

Come on come on put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

A 

Handstands up on the bandstand.  Falling into place just like your man planned 

Tricky Dickey shoulda been rested and tanned 

If he’d a wanted to be in demand 

F#m A 

You are a masterpiece.  And a catastrophe 

F#m E 

And yet I’ve never seen what you’re throwing on me. 

A 

Touchdown.  Tearing the house down. 

I know I hit the spot when I hear that mouse sound. 

Every townie stays in town.  Just like strays playing in the pound 

F#m A 

You are a masterpiece.   A relief so sweet 

F#m E 

Don’t keep it brief, what you’re throwing on me. 

D / / / / / / / / /         E / / / / / /  / 

Come on come on, put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

Come on come on put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

D / / / / / / / / /         E / / / / / /  / 

Come on come on, put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

Come on come on put your foot to the pedal 

We’ll figure it out when the beat gets settled 

A 

Faceplant in the basement.  Might I offer a replacement? 

You’re through with dudes from the base camp. 

You made it through without a tramp stamp. 

F#m A 

I’m proud of you, mostly   Come here pick up your trophy 

F#m E 

You are a masterpiece and a catastrophe, and I’ll always catch what you throw on me. 

One Heck of a Night We’re About To Have 

G        D    Em     Am    G    D 

I’m very pleased with the temperature 

cause she’s gonna need me with next to her 

warmth’s gonna be at a premium 

dreams are better when you’re not dreaming them 

and I’m wide awake, and this is my chance 

i’ve been planing several moves in advance 

whether she sits or she stands 

I’ve got several contingency plans 

Am        G         Em 

Oh oh.  oh oh alright alight alight align 

Am        C             G em 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

Am G Em 

oh oh oh oh alright alight alight alight 

Am     C       (go into main part with G) 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

G        D    Em     Am    G    D 

High heeled shoes and late night eats 

Meet  up with the group.  American grafeets. 

Whispered rumors, honorable mention.  So nice to be the center of attention. 

Lots of jealous guys in line 

Maybe next time.  Dancing closed eyes. 

Am        G         Em 

Oh oh.  oh oh alright alight alight align 

Am        C             G em 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

Am G Em 

oh oh oh oh alright alight alight alight 

Am     C 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

G 

Bridge: 

D  Am              C 

Not Yet Desperate 

Our brief respite       (in the wind) 

G        D    Em     Am    G    D 

I’m very pleased with the temperature 

cause she’s gonna need me with next to her 

warmth’s gonna be at a premium 

dreams are better when you’re not dreaming them 

and I’m wide awake, and this is my chance 

i’ve been planing several moves in advance 

whether she sits or she stands 

I’ve got several contingency plans 

Am        G         Em 

Oh oh.  oh oh alright alight alight align 

Am        C             G em 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

Am G Em 

oh oh oh oh alright alight alight alight 

Am     C 

we’re about to have one heck of a night 

G 

Bridge: 

D  Am              C 

Not Yet Desperate 

Our brief respite 

G 

    (in the wind) 

Sweet Spot 

G                                         C                                                G 

This is the sweet spot between the start and the end 

This is the sweet, brief respite in the wind 

C G Am7                 G/B 

I got you back safe to your place but I don’t see why you wanted to rush 

C G 

I woulda spent more time in the coffeeshop.  I woulda stoked our campfire crush. 

D/F# C   G/B 

Something tells me you’re gonna be like the others, who forgot 

D/F# C 

Everything that mattered back when they were in this spot 

G                                         C                                                G 

In the sweet spot 

In the sweet spot 

This is the sweet spot and I’m pledging my allegiance 

This is the sweet spot, no marriage of convenience 

C G Am7                 G/B 

I wanna go see the sunrise, but you just say “Why bother? 

C G 

“Worring about the sunrise when tomorrow there’ll be another?” 

D/F# C   G/B 

Something tells me you’re gonna be like the others, who forgot 

D/F# C 

Everything that mattered back when they were in this spot 

G                                         C                                                G 

In the sweet spot 

In the sweet spot 

Bm7 E 

It never sat quite right   when we just sat around that night 

Bm7 E      D     A/C#   Bm7       A 

We shoulda been outside soaring to new heights 

A D A 

This is the sweet spot for me and for you 

This is the sweet spot and for a moment there you knew 

D A Bm7    A/C# 

Both of us together felt the magic in reality 

D A        Bm7    A/C# 

But then something snapped and you went right back to your mundane practicality 

E/G# D   A/C# 

Something tells me you’re gonna be like the others who forgot 

E/G# D 

Everything that mattered back when they were in this spot 

A D A 

IN the sweet spot. 

In the sweet spot. 

Rainbow Street 

E / / / /                                                  F#m / /       A / / 

Rainbow street is where we met     She was smoking a cigarette 

She said I could be her pet             And I was happy to accept 

She said she’s my priority            She said so with authority 

I’m toto and she’s dorothy            The last set will be Morrissey 

D F#m / /          A / / 

And then her tent I’m her servant, I’m indentured 

Again and again   Our early dawn adventures 

E / / / /                                                  F#m / /       A / / 

Bah bah bah bah bah 

Bah bah bah bah bah 

She hid a ribbon on her person and challenged me to do some searching 

I found it every time where the sun don’t dare to shine 

As it began to rise, I wondered are there other guys? 

Am I the only one?  Or is this a lark for fun? 

D F#m / /          A / / 

I’ll let it pass.  ‘Twas before she found this love that lasts 

She’ll never stray if I never go away 

The Last poop of the night 

G / / / /      D / / / /    Em / / / /   A / / / / 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

I need empty bowels to sleep tight 

It’s the last poop before I rest 

Time to push out one last mess 

Oh OH!  By the morn! 

Oh oh!  A new poop will form! 

Oh Oh!  That’s why I 

Oh OH!  Gotta make room tonight 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

I can’t sleep with a turd inside 

It’s the last poop before my slumber 

Gotta push out a poop so big it looks like lumber 

Oh oh!  Gotta open my cheeks 

Oh Oh!  And excrete 

Oh oh!  Before I 

Oh oh!  Can go to sleep 

Oh oh !  I gotta open my cheeks 

Oh oh !  and excrete 

Oh oh  !  Before I 

Oh oh!  Can go to sleep 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

It’s the last poop of the night. 

Natural Wizard 

A / /  D / /    A / /  D / /   A / /   D / /  G / / / / 

It’s the sugar queen theme park I know this ain’t a dream 

You think this roller coaster slow down enough to get out a scream 

She’s coming like a vision, white top, sandals and jeans 

You like a body tied up without a head full of steam 

It’s time to run for the hills, cut the ropes, do the crime 

Like a bat out of hell, a rabbit running out of time 

Don’t ever stop to catch your breath, don’t ever think you’re fine 

Cause when you think it’s over she’s still coming for your mind 

D / / / /           G / / / / 

Pink rock, aftershock, punch the clock 

The natural wizard’s just around the block 

Bonfire, town crier, work for hire 

Hallelujah sings the choir 

A / /  D / /    A / /  D / /   A / /   D / /  G / / / / 

It’s the sugar queen theme song radio tease 

I see you shake, shake, shaking from your head to your knees 

You can’t go swiming wiht your clothes on when the temperature’s freezing 

You about to die from shock and frostbite and a slight breeze 

Ch Ch Check this out, kyou think I’m out but here’s one more thing 

Don’t you think it’s kinda hot for all these items of clothing? 

Unrobing truth and finding dirt come on let’s do some hosing 

In the end we’ll see who’s coming up holding the rose, sing! 

D / / / /           G / / / / 

Pink rock, aftershock, punch the clock 

The natural wizard’s just around the block 

Bonfire, town crier, work for hire 

Hallelujah sings the choir 

Bm7 / / / / / / / /      E / / / / / / / / 

Get on up it’s early time to rise get on your clothes do up your tie 

Take a sip of that coffee from the night before too hot to try 

Now up the door, zip up your fly, whisper your wife you love bye bye 

It’s in the car and now you’re late, step on the gas it’s time to fly 

D / / / /           G / / / / 

Pink rock, aftershock, punch the clock 

The natural wizard’s just around the block 

Bonfire, town crier, work for hire 

Hallelujah sings the choir 

A / /  D / /    A / /  D / /   A / /   D / /  G / / / / 

It’s the sulfer queen’s turn to give a goodbye wave 

She’s got one foot on the gas and one foot in the grave 

Ain’t a single solitary person she could save 

But at least you know you took about as well as you gave 

It’s time to quiet down a bit cause my blood is boiling up 

My rhymes can cut like blades, tickle your nose, right in the cup 

You better watch that seizmic truck cause I’m about to erupt 

And I’m a take you with me might as well knod your head ‘yup. 

Ready to Split 

G            G/F#          Em          Cmaj7 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

I always remember.  They always forget 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

Find some new faces I’ve never met 

And I hear and I hear and I hear and I hear 

Somebody’s been making my plans 

And I hear and I hear and I hear and I hear 

Somebody’s been making demands of my time 

I’m making a stand cause that’s mine 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

I always remember.  They always forget 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

Find some new faces I’ve never met 

And I hear and I hear and I hear and I hear 

You’re not doing all the things you should 

And I hear and I hear and I hear and I hear 

You’ve been trying hard to make things good for her 

And you wish things would be like they were 

Trying hard to make things good for her 

And you thought things would be like they were 

And of course I wish we could go back to the neighborhood 

And of course I wish we could go back to the neighborhood 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

I always remember.  They always forget 

I’m ready to split, I’m ready to split 

Find some new faces I’ve never met 

And of course I wish we could go back to the neighborhood 

You don’t Get Me to Kick Around No More 

G     G/E      G     G/E 

Well I could see your thoughts just like a bubble in a comic 

Then a light went off, though it was more like a comet 

C      C/A       C     C/A        G      G/E      G     G/E 

That there wasn’t any lock, in fact there wasn’t any door! 

Am7 G    G/E     G    G/E 

And now you don’t get me to kick around no more 

No you don’t get me to kick around no more! 

G     G/E      G     G/E   ... 

I took a long walk just to clear my head 

And when i returned, I felt even more dread 

C      C/A       C     C/A        G      G/E      G     G/E... 

And there isn’t very much I’d feel that way for 

Am7 G    G/E     G    G/E... 

And now you don’t get me to kick around no more 

No you don’t get me to kick around no more! 

D Am7 

And I can see you having trouble understanding 

D Am7 C 

Who wouldn’t wanna be with you, so full of certainty and so demanding 

G     G/E      G     G/E   ... 

Oh oh 

Oh oh 

C      C/A       C     C/A        G      G/E      G     G/E... 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Am7 G    G/E     G    G/E... 

And now you don’t get me to kick around no more 

No you don’t get me to kick around no more! 

D Am7 

And I can see you having trouble understanding 

D Am7 C 

Who wouldn’t wanna be with you, so full of certainty and so demanding 

G     G/E      G     G/E   ... 

After a great deal of thought I’ve made my selection 

I will be going in a different direction 

C      C/A       C     C/A        G      G/E      G     G/E... 

Our love was sick, babe.  And there wasn’t any cure 

Am7 G    G/E     G    G/E... 

And now you don’t get me to kick around no more 

No you don’t get me to kick around no more! 

G    G/E     G    G/E… 

Dandelion Moonglow 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

Am7           G 

Oh Oh!  Dandelion Moonglow!        Ooh Ooh!  Bumpy Bumpy Foo Foo! 

Aye Aye!  Dragon fly . Bye Bye!  Jiggle Jive! 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

Am7           G 

Twinkle tooth.   Kissing booth.  Just met.  All set. 

Danger Danger.  Road Ranger.    Get settled.  Don’t meddle. 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

Am7           G 

Steady steady.    Tanned Ready. Fuss Fuss.  Books and dust. 

Oh Oh!  Dandelion Moonglow!        Ooh Ooh!  Bumpy Bumpy Foo Foo! 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

C  C   Bb  C           C C  Eb  C       C  C  Bb  C      C  C  Eb  C 

F7 / / / /                                   C7  / / / / 

Turn up the heat  in the bucket seats        Go up the stairs to get some air 

F / / / /                         G / 

Turn up the thrills, you get the chills.   Now stop.    Banana time! 

Used to Hear it All the Time 

A7 / / / /      E7 / / / /           A7 / / / /      E7 / / / / 

A7 E7 

I used to hear it all the time That you were coming back 

I used to hear it all the time That you were coming home 

G7       D7 A7 E7 

So I went to the diner where we used to sit at the window and watch the hobo 

Went to the diner but our favorite waitress quit and you were a no-show 

E7 

I used to hear it all the time 

A7 / / / /      E7 / / / /           A7 / / / /      E7 / / / / 

G7       D7 A7 E7 

G7       D7 A7 E7 

A7 E7 

I used to hear it all the time That you were coming back 

I used to hear it all the time That you were coming home 

G7       D7 A7 E7 

So I went to the diner where we used to sit at the window and watch the hobo 

Went to the diner but our favorite waitress quit and you were a no-show 

E7 A7 

I used to hear it all the time 

Poop Into a Wormhole 

Dm7  /  C/E  /   F  /   Am7 /  G  / / / /  (repeat) 

C7 / / / /   Em7 / /  F / / 

Poop Poop Poop into a wormhole 

Poop Poop Poop into a wormhole 

Poop Poop Poop into a wormhole, yeah 

Could I please get everybody’s attention? 

I’ve discovered a wormhole to another dimmension 

No man alive would dare go inside 

So I’m gonna squat over it and send my poop for a ride 

I’m gonna poop into a wormhole 

Poop Poop Poop into a wormhole 

Poop Poop Poop into a wormhole yeah! 

G7 F7 

Einstein would be filled with pride.    I’m proving all of his theories right 

G7 

Sending my poop to the other side 

Dm7 /   C/E  /   F  /   Am7 /  G  //// 

The aliens over there are in for a surprise 

Dm7 /   C/E  /   F  /   Am7 /  G  //// 

A stinky surprise 

C7 / / / /   Em7 / /  F / / 

Poop poop poop into a wormhole 

Poop poop poop into a wormhole 

Poop poop poop into a worhole yeah 

I’m really doing it 

I’m gonna send my poop into the other side 

And when I’m done, I’m gonna empty my bladder onto some dark matter 

Will You Go to the Prom With Me? 

F                                  Gm7                      F/A                              Bb 

Erin will you go to the prom with me?     (to the prom with me to the prom with me) 

Erin will you go to the prom with me?     (to the prom with me to the prom with me) 

Gm7                                    Bb       C 

Oh Erin, will you go will you go will you go 

              Bb            F/A          Gm7      F 

Will you go to the prom with me? 

F                                  Gm7                      F/A                              Bb 

 Will you go?  Will you go? Will you go to the prom with me? 

C                   Bb 

Erin you’re so wonderful. Erin you’re the best. 

C                                     Bb         F/A      Gm7 

I wanna pose for a picture in my tux next to you in your lovely dress 

F                                  Gm7                      F/A                              Bb 

Erin will you go to the prom with me?     (to the prom with me to the prom with me) 

Erin will you go to the prom with me?     (to the prom with me to the prom with me) 

Gm7                                    Bb       C 

Oh Erin, will you go will you go will you go 

              Bb            F/A          Gm7      F 

Will you go to the prom with me? 

Scarlett Johansson Farts 

D       D4/G      D/A 

She’s so pretty and she’s so great 

Acting in movies, singing songs by Tom Waits 

She is the woman of so many men’s dreams 

Sometimes, she releases stinky steam 

Bm7       A/C#                                                                 D       D4/G      D/A 

(But where oh where is that stench coming from?)     It’s coming from Scarlett Johnasson Bum 

(But where oh where is that stench coming from?)     It’s coming from Scarlett Johnasson Bum 

 D       D4/G      D/A 

Because Scarlett Johnasosn Farts 

Scarlett Johansson Farts 

D       D4/G      D/A 

When a woman is so poised and so pretty as she 

And is a talented and famous celebrity 

You think that god created her with so much wisdom 

That he decide not to bog her down with a digestive system 

Bm7       A/C#                                                                 D       D4/G      D/A 

(But where oh where is that stench coming from?)     It’s coming from Scarlett Johnasson Bum 

(But where oh where is that stench coming from?)     It’s coming from Scarlett Johnasson Bum 

 D       D4/G      D/A 

Because Scarlett Johnasosn Farts 

Scarlett Johansson Farts 

Bucket Seats 

C       G/B      Em7      G 

put your towel on the bucket seats so this time we aren’t burned 

we made the mistake already  and we learned 

2nd time it’s shame on us  1st time it’s shame on the sun 

1st time we haven’t been    beholden to anyone 

and ooh ooh how could this ever grow stale? 

but ooh ooh, I’m told it happens without fail 

am7         g 

so come on, good friend    while we can 

let’s look at life wide-eyed 

til we’ve surrendered    and we’re rendered 

scared to go outside 

C       G/B      Em7      G 

Oh oh ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Oh oh ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

D                 Em7 

Oh oh   oh oh   oh oh   oh oh 

Oh oh  oh oh  ohhhhhh 

C       G/B      Em7      G 

She wore her scarf with her summer dress and, oh my, she looked cute 

Arm in arm, I’m her man, in my money suit 

3rd time on the town, I’m not on the fence 

I don’t even mind too much if we leave evidence 

and ooh ooh how could this ever grow stale? 

but ooh ooh, I’m told it happens without fail 

am7         g 

so come on, good friend   while we can 

let’s look at life wide-eyed 

til we’ve surrendered     and we’re rendered 

scared to go outside 

C       G/B      Em7      G 

Oh oh ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Oh oh ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

D                 Em7 

Oh oh   oh oh   oh oh   oh oh 

Oh oh  oh oh  ohhhhhh 

Believe in the Power of the Mothman 

Bass (repeat throughout): 

A A G  A 

A A A C B 

A A G A 

E E E E G 

Believe Believe, Yes You Can 

Believe in the power of the mothman 

Well, he’s seven feet tall with eyes of red 

And if you don’t listen to him, you end up dead 

He tried to warn everybody, yes he did 

About how they were in danger from a broken bridge 

Believe Believe, Yes You Can 

Believe in the power of the mothman 

Mothman, Mothman, I believe in ya 

Flying round the town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia 

With your bright red eyes and gigantic wings 

That make me make me make me make me wanna sing 

Believe Believe, Yes You Can 

Believe in the power of the mothman 

Well, this ain’t no sparrow and it ain’t no owl 

With its high speed flying and its high pitched howl 

It’s not a hawk, nor an eagle, not a bat, nor a feasant 

It’s the mothman of Point Pleasant 

Believe Believe, Yes You Can 

Believe in the power of the mothman 

This is What They Meant 

Piano riff: 

g b d f# g f# e d c# d e a 

  G    A 

I don’t know 

legend in town once upon long ago 

i won’t blow 

take a look around take a pick friend or foe 

she’s so beautiful  i confess my ignorance 

repeat my fate until I just fake my way  this is what they meant 

DDDD  Em7 

Bm Bm Bm Bm A/C#  (repeat) 

G    A 

let me take it from here 

the future’s right in front of me 

take it before it disappears 

and all that’s left is keeping company 

i confess my innocence 

I won’t destroy the evidence 

this is love supreme 

this has got to be just what they mean 

DDDD  Em7 

Bm Bm Bm Bm A/C#  (repeat) 

Bm          A            bm           E 

The world’s too big.  It’s more than where we live 

D     A 

Since ancient times, you can’t change minds 

G    A 

she’s so beautiful  i confess my ignorance 

repeat my fate until I just fake my way  this is what they meant 

DDDD  Em7 

Bm Bm Bm Bm A/C#  (repeat) 

Bm          A            bm           E 

the world’s too big 

there’s more than where we live 

D     A 

since ancient times 

you can’t change minds 

i’m not fine 

being left behind 

confess my ignorance 

confess my innocence 

this is what they meant 

Piano riff: 

g b d f# g f# e d c# d e a 

  G    A 

Mac & Cheese 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please 

No more tomato sauce, I want cheese 

I want it creamy, I want it hot 

Over macaroni, a lot a lot a lot a lot of 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Boil macaroni for about 8 minutes 

Drain the water, then put milk and butter in it 

The most important part, I will say even louder 

Make sure you mix in the cheese-flavored powder 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Mac & Cheese, Mac & Cheese, One of my favorite recipes 

Goffstown Girls 

Bass (repeat throughout): 

A A G  A 

A A A C B 

A A G A 

E E E E G 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Well we all wanna go and we all know we will 

Hit this party in Pinardville 

So many Goffstown girls, we just might get our fill 

2am we’ll be partying still 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

After a night of partying hard 

We’re gonna hit the women’s prison yard 

Lovely ladies looking so cute 

Goffstown girls in their orange suits 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

Party in Pinardville, Goffstown girls 

I Made This Song For Medford 

G7               / / / /              C7 / / / / 

Bass:  G F G G F  C C     Bb C Bb C 

Oh yeah, Medford, Massachusetts 

Oh yeah, what a great community 

I like Medford because Medford is such a nice place to be 

They got Main Street 

They got High Street 

They got Forrest Street 

They got Salem Street 

They got Avenues, they got roads, oh yeah 

Medford is a great place to go to 

Tufts University! 

They’re gonna teach you lots of stuff 

And make you super duper smart 

Oh yeah!  Medford, Massachusetts 

Check out that Mystic River, Oh Yeah! 

I like Medford, it is a good place 

8.6 square miles of land in Medford 

Medford 

What a fine community, oh yeah 

Let’s go over the river and through the woods to Medford, Massachusetts 

Let’s ring some jingle bells 

Let’s go dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh! 

The Tony Poop Song 

Gm7                                           F/A 

Tony Tony poop Tony Tony       poop poop poop poop poop 

Tony Tony Tony Tony       poop poop poop poop poop poop 

F C/E Gm7                             F/A 

Tony Tony  Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony    poop poop poop poop poop poop 

Gm7                                           F/A 

Tony Tony Tony Tony Poop poop poop 

Tony Tony Tony tony poop 

Tony poop Tony Tony Tony poop poop poop poop 

F C/E 

Tony Tony 

Poop poop poop poop poop poop 
Tony Tony 

F 

Poop poop poop 

Gm7 F/A 

Tony Tony          poop poop poop poop 

Tony Tony          poop poop poop poop 

Tony Tony poop Tony Tony 

Poop Tony Tony poop ! 

I’m Sorry I Threw Up All Over Your Grandmother 

Am ////     D  ////      Am ////      D   ////      Am  ////        D  ////        E7 //// 

I’m sorry I threw up all over your grandmother 

But you should have warned me about how terrible she smells 

You should have warned me about how ugly she’s become 

It’s just a natural reaction, don’t you know 

I’m sorry I vomited all over your grandma 

Ugh, it was a bad situation 

But I feel that just about 9 out of 10 people 

Looking at her and smelling her would have done the same thing 

It was an involuntary reaction 

To Looking at that decrepit woman 

And smelling the horrible scent coming out of her 

Oh my goodness, it was horrible 

D 

And I don’t even think that she noticed that I vomited all over her 

Am       / / / /        D / / / / 

I’m not eve sure that she’s alive 

Oh my goodness 

Am 

Sorry I threw up all over your grandma 

Poop in My Fingernails 

Ab ////////    Ab/G   ////////   Ab/Gb  //////// 

F ////        Bb //     Eb// 

You know, I wipe really hard 

And my toilet paper’s weak 

Sometimes I break right through 

And my fingernail is rubbing up against my poopy butt cheek 

And I’m completely unaware 

Of what’s going on down there 

Until I pull my finger out of my butt and I stare at 

Poop in my fingernails, poop in my fingernails 

Poop poop poop in my fingernails 

Poop in my fingernails, poop in my fingernails 

Poop in my fingernails 

Db ////    Dbm  ////    Ab ////  Ab4 // Ab// 

When the toilet paper breaks there’s nothing left standing in between 

Db ////     Dbm //// 

Poop and your fingernails 

Bb //// Eb   /    Eb/Db  /   Eb/C   /   Eb/Bb 

And you’re never ever gonna get it com      plete         ly             clean 

Ab ////////    Ab/G   ////////   Ab/Gb  //////// 

F ////        Bb //     Eb// 

Poop in my fingernails, poop in my fingernails, 

every time i try to clean it up i fail 

Never ever ever ever gonna win 

Cause the fecal matter’s hiding deep where the nail meets the skin 

In my fingernails, poop in my fingernails 

Tried a clipper, tried a brush 

Scrub a dub, scrub a dub dub 

But you’re only gonna get so much 

Db ////    Dbm  ////    Ab ////  Ab4 // Ab// 

When the toilet paper breaks there’s nothing left standing in between 

Db ////     Dbm //// 

Poop and your fingernails 

Bb //// Eb   /    Eb/Db  /   Eb/C   /   Eb/Bb 

And you’re never ever gonna get it com      plete         ly             clean 

Ab ////////    Ab/G   ////////   Ab/Gb  //////// 

F ////        Bb //     Eb// 

If you want the cleanliness of your fingernails to improve 

Go down to the nail salon and ask them if they’ll remove 

Every one of your fingernails 

I know I know it might seem extreme 

But i’m tellign you that’s the only way 

That they’re ever gonna be completely clean 

I Sing My Phone Number in Lots of My Songs 

Am7  / / /      F  / / /        C  / / /  / /     G/B / 

I sing my phone number in my songs 

603-644-0048 

Because I like to imagine 

People listening to my song, just kinda paying half attention 

And then thinking, “Did i just hear that guy sing his phone number?” 

And then the curious listeners will dial the number 

And they’ll be so shocked when I answer the phone, I usually do 

Unless it’s late at night cause I turn off my ringer 

Because my wife’s gotta go to work the next morning 

Can have her being woken up by some listeners dialing my number 

And when I answer, they’re so surprised 

They say, “Are you the guy from the song?” 

They say, “Why’d you sing your number?” 

I don’t know.  I just thought it would be interesting 

Life’s so boring all the time 

I give somebody some funny thing to do.  They can tell their friends about it 

How they heard a number and dialed it and talked to the weird musician guy 

Proof of Party 

G C G    D Am7         C 

best night of all time, it came and went         let’s leave behind the evidence 

so strangers, friends, and enemies              can recreate it piece by piece 

D 

but they’re not you and they’re not me 

Am7 C G 

though they try,  they’ll never be 

D 

able to get to the truth 

Am7 C G 

even though they got all the proof 

G C G    D Am7   C 

what a night, what a celebration       this is no exaggeration 

We left tracks for posterity          For strangers friends and enemies 

D 

but they’re not you and they’re not me 

Am7 C G 

though they try,  they’ll never be 

D 

able to get to the truth 

Am7 C G 

even though they got all the proof 

G C G    D Am7   C  (instrumental only, 1 time) 

Em G Am7 G 

you had to be there, trust us 

nothing else can do it justice 

G C G    D Am7   C 

Another day came and left                  Another night closer to death 

they decided not to know                    what they missed they’ll never know 

D 

but they’re not you and they’re not me 

Am7 C G 

though they try,  they’ll never be 

D 

able to get to the truth 

Am7 C G 

even though they got all the proof 

G C G    D Am7   C 

best night of all time, it came and went       let’s leave behind the evidence 

I Forgot What I Was Gonna Say 

A   / / / /   E / /  D / / 

What next?  Do I apologise? 

Was that a moment we had going ‘fore the moment got spoiled? 

Overanalyzed. 

Don’t know why I feel it but I feel it, the need to be loyal. 

Faith and honesty and love and trust 

Instantaneous between the two of us 

Already comfortable, no need for fuss 

You’ve got your face on.  Don’t worry, I won’t muss 

(Maybe just a little!  Maybe Just a little!) 

WE were meant to be 

A couple souls linked up since eternity 

When you turned to me 

I knew that I’d been waiting patiently 

For this moment of love that we just fell in 

So powerful and overwhelming 

I will buy anything that you’re selling 

There’s so much I’d like to be telling 

E / / / / / / / /                                        A / / / / / / / / 

Especially about how I am certain  That you’re the reason I’ve been searching 

E / / / / / / / /     G / / / /                                   A / / / / 

Dreaming, practicing, rehearing.     But a mirror’s much different than a person 

F#m  / / / /     D / / / /      E / / / / / / / / 

Hey!  Hey!  It’s ok!  I forgot what I was gonna say! 

Hey!  Hey!  It’s ok!  I forgot what I was gonna say! 

Hey!  Hey!  It’s ok!  I forgot what I was gonna say! 

Hey!  Hey!  It’s ok!  I forgot what I was gonna say! 

A   / / / /   E / /  D / / 

A   / / / /   E / /  D / / 

A   / / / /   E / /  D / / 

A  / / / / /  E /  A /  / 

I Can’t Wait to see Her Face 

Bb / / / / / /  Gm / / / / / /  Cm / / /  Bb/D / / /  Eb / / /  F / / /    (twice) 

Cm / / / / / /    F / / / / / / 

The door closes, their van rumbles on 

They’ll be driving til way past the dawn 

Eb / / /     Bb  / / /      F / / / / / / 

They wind along roads between mountains so tall 

Mountains are just higher than hills.  That’s all 

Bb / / / / / /  Gm / / / / / /  Cm / / /  Bb/D / / /  Eb / / /  F / / /    (twice) 

Cm / / / / / /    F / / / / / / 

When she comes back, she’ll tell me about 

All the fun that she had and how I’m missing out 

Eb / / /     Bb  / / /      F / / / / / / 

She’s not wrong, I’m just happy in my place 

There is no accounting for taste 

Gm7 / / / / / /   C / / / / / / 

I just can’t wait to see her face 

I can’t wait to see her face 

Bb / / /  F/A / / /   Gm7  / / /   F / / / 

She can run, but I will not chase 

If she runs, I will not chase 

Bb / / / / / /  Gm / / / / / /  Cm / / /  Bb/D / / /  Eb / / /  F / / /    (twice) 

Gm7 / / / / / /   C / / / / / / 

I just can’t wait to see her face 

I can’t wait to see her face 

I just can’t wait to see her face 

I can’t wait to see her face 

Bb / / /  F/A / / /   Gm7  / / /   F / / / 

She’s got wings, let her fly 

She’ll find a better guy 

That’s why I barely try 

That’s why I barely try 

Gm7 / / / / / /   C / / / / / / 

Still, I can’t wait to see her face 

I can’t wait to see her face 

I just can’t wait to see her face 

I can’t wait to see her face 

Bb / / / / / /  Gm / / / / / /  Cm / / /  Bb/D / / /  Eb / / /  F / / /    (twice) 

Falling Leaves 

F2   F    F2   F    Am7 

bring us home, straight shot, just follow the coast 

take this time to tone it down          not so grandiose 

Bb  ////////     Dm //   C // 

and I’m impressed you called the nightwatchman’s neglect 

he never made his rounds in the graveyard where we slept 

  G/B  ////             Bb  //// 

and I won’t forget, to share the news with ease 

 G/B ////    Bb////   C //// 

and I won’t forget, we’re all just falling leaves 

F2   F    F2   F    Am7 

the sideways looks won’t be improving 

they’ll just get more horizontal cause everybody's disapproving 

Bb  ////////     Dm //   C // 

I don’t need to hear it, 

of course there’s an end and we’re all near it 

  G/B  ////             Bb  //// 

and I won’t forget, that i once felt sweet relief 

 G/B ////    Bb////   C //// 

and I won’t forget, we’re all just falling leaves 

Gm7        F       C/E 

Love is mother nature’s trick 

gm7          F 

And I keep falling and falling for it 

F2   F    F2   F    Am7 

seems like forever since we left 

time for some medicine from those who know best 

Bb  ////////     Dm //   C // 

and I’m ok, I know it’s time for work 

long as I can glance your way and see that little smirk 

  G/B  ////             Bb  //// 

and I won’t forget, to allow a brief reprieve 

 G/B ////    Bb////   C //// 

cause I won’t forget that we’re all just falling leaves 

F2   F    F2   F    Am7 

Sure Thing 

D    ////      A ////       Em7  / / / /     A //// 

Since the day we got together I could see 

That I was just the guy for you  And you were right for me 

And the summer in the desert   Wild and free 

The blazing sun was showing us   What true love ought to be 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing you and me 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're as sure as sure can be 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing guaranteed 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're a sure thing you and me 

D    ////      A ////       Em7  / / / /     A //// 

Hand in hand we walked the mountains Among the Autumn leaves 

Change seems to be everywhere But not for you and me 

Even now that we are older Old and weak 

I still get thrills every time  You kiss me on the cheek 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing you and me 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're as sure as sure can be 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing guaranteed 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're a sure thing you and me 

Bridge: 

F#m  ////////                                     G////                                  D//// 

love is a wonder game  and I can’t believe I get to play 

F#m                                      G 

oh, what a miracle to know you're here to stay 

D    ////      A ////       Em7  / / / /     A //// 

I look forward to the next life  The Quiet peace 

cause I know I’ll be by your side   with you right next to me 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing you and me 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're as sure as sure can be 

 G / / / /     D / / / /     G / / / /      D / / / / 

we're a sure thing we're a sure thing  we're a sure thing guaranteed 

 G / / / /      d / / / /      A / / / / / / / / / 

we're a sure thing you and me 

I Tell You What 

Main bass riff: 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    G        F# 

I agree,  you’ve been hurting me 

it’s been as clear as day since you went away 

on your lost weekend with my original friend 

I tell you what! 

you got woke, when he got broke 

took your car and wrecked it 

Made you apoplectic 

came pleading to the judge 

will there be a grudge? 

honey babe it’s open and shut 

I tell you what! 

Br: 2nd part:   E   G F# D E   (a few times) 

                 last time:  E D 

Main bass riff: 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    G        F# 

no gloating, I’d been hoping 

for some coping, wide open 

unbroken hearts joking 

congratulations 

long time waiting, for some celebrating, face to facing’ 

And other sensations 

I tell you what 

Br: 2nd part:   E   G F# D E   (a few times) 

                 last time:  E D 

Houston, Danvers 

Toronto, Orlando 

Peabody, Endwell 

Gent, Port Macquarie 

Medford, South Detroit 

Adelaide, Cincinnati 

hibbings, Denver, 

Southie, 

Main bass riff: 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    F#    G 

A    G        F# 

ready willing able 

to be in separable 

bed, couch, kitchen table 

happy ever after fable 

we both been burned 

from mistakes but we learned 

and now we’ve returned 

now let’s get what we have earned 

I tell you what 

Papaphobia 

G 

Oh he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

C 

he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

G 

he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

D 

He’s the pope 

And I’m afraid……... of the pope 

Sits in his chair…...that pope! 

Talks with the lord….  That pope! 

Oh he’s the pope….. He’s the pope. 

Em Am 

They say that he’s a nice guy 

Em 

But still Im afraid of him 

D 

And I”m not sure why. 

G 

Oh he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

C 

he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

G 

he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope he’s the pope 

D 

He’s the pope 

They say he’s nice….that silly pope! 

Still I’m afraid…..of the pope! 

Oh he’s the pope…..he’s the pope! 

SHIFTY THRIFTING 

D                 Bm7               A 

S H I F T Y    -   Shifty Thrifting 

look at the weird wonderful things we find 

S H I F T Y     -   Shifty Thrifting 

Just snap a picture if you don’t wanna buy 

F#m        G 

We see so many crazy odd things 

Every time we go thrift shopping 

Who used to own them?  Why did they  have ‘em? 

Em7                    A 

Well never know but it’s fun to imagine 

D                 Bm7               A 

S H I F T Y    -   Shifty Thrifting 

look at the weird wonderful things we find 

S H I F T Y     -   Shifty Thrifting 

Just snap a picture if you don’t wanna buy 

Em7                               Bm7                                  A 

Beat poot    -     with his eyes of wisdom and a smiling face 

Beat poot  -   always watching over us, keeping us safe 

G A 

Beat poot     -  we keep finding his cousins all over the place 

D                 Bm7               A 

S H I F T Y    -   Shifty Thrifting 

look at the weird wonderful things we find 

S H I F T Y     -   Shifty Thrifting 

Just snap a picture if you don’t wanna buy 

Get Away Our Way 

G / / / / / / / /     Am7 / / / /    C / / / / 

You get a wish I get a wish we get away our way on the beyond…. 

They’ve declared me to be 

On the wrong side of history 

Cause I won’t behave 

Turn my back and I face a wave 

This goes out to Johnny straight from Bodhi 

This show is for our eyes only 

Am7  / / / /     Em7 / / / /     D / / / /     C / / / / 

And I won’t, no no no no, step down from a blow 

Am7  / / / /     Em7 / / / /                 D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) /  D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) / 

I’ll just roll and throw and go and go 

G / / / / / / / /     Am7 / / / /    C / / / / 

You get a wish I get a wish we get away our way on the beyond…. 

They’re dropping like flies behind 

Vicious eyes and shallow minds 

But that’s not mine, I’m fine 

I won’t revere any fear I find 

This goes out to Johnny straight from Bodhi 

This show is for our eyes only 

Am7  / / / /     Em7 / / / /     D / / / /     C / / / / 

And I won’t, no no no no, step down from a blow 

Am7  / / / /     Em7 / / / /                 D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) /  D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) / 

I’ll just roll and throw and go and go 

 D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) /  D / / / /  (riff)  / / /   E(bass) / 

Bridge: 

F / / / /   C / / / /    G / / / /    D/F# / / / / 

F / / / /   C / / / /    G / / / /    D/F# / / / / 

F / / / /   C / / / /    G / / / /    D/F# / / / / 

F / / / /  / / / /  / / / /  / / / / 

G / / / / / / / /     Am7 / / / /    C / / / / 

You get a wish I get a wish we get away our way on the beyond…. 

Windows closing, dip your toes in 

I don’t know when but I’ll die knowing 

Living will last until we lose the fight but hey that’s alright 

SWEETHEART DEAL 

E    B     E     A           E    B     E     F#m7 

C#m     B     A     E       B 

i’ll be your sweetheart deal of the summer 

loneliness can be a bummer 

anything you want from me 

till september 93 

groceries and simple chores 

fix the hinges on your door 

thinking of you night and day 

don’t know any other way 

and oh oh the ocean air’s so beautiful blowing through your hair 

and oh oh i’m not yet aware that it’s not polite to stare 

i’ll be your sweetheart deal for a while 

my friend laugh at the stupid smile 

i will ditch them in a second 

any moment that you beckon 

and oh I’m so enchanted, and oh please take advantage 

of a love this pure, never again, never before 

A 

it goes away if it’s not spent 

B                    E      B/F#      D           A/C#         B 

and it’s not an accident—this is why I was sent 

i’ll be your sweetheart deal and I’ll flower 

as you live your darkest hour 

just this once and not repeated 

there’s no explanation needed 

and oh oh so close, as the world get bellicose 

and on and on we’re pawns, gone before dawn 

i’ll be your sweetheart deal and I bet 

this deal I won’t soon forget 

when you’re away without a trace 

I’ll keep an eye open for your beautiful face 

Late Night Fight By the Rock 

Chords:   A / / / /                     C#5 / /       D5 /  / 

Bass:     A       E  D     A            C#           D 

I can’t be a strong man, so I’ll ask permission 

I wanna hold your hand cause of superstition 

I got a lot to say, my teeth are clickin 

And I’m on my way for some screams and kickin’ 

REF 

E            / / / /     / / / /            G  / / / /        D / / / / 

Well it’s none for the money, double price for the show 

A Quarter tank of gas to drive you home 

It’s your turn to place a bet 

And you keep telling me that you’re all set 

Chords:   A / / / /                     C#5 / /       D5 /  / 

Bass:     A       E  D     A            C#           D 

I survived a late night fight by the rock 

Now i can barely move and I can barely talk 

I come to pick you up, 90 minutes round trip 

No, you can’t kiss my busted lip 

REF 

E            / / / /     / / / /            G  / / / /        D/ / / / 

Well it’s none for the money, double price for the show 

A Quarter tank of gas to drive you home 

It’s your turn to place a bet 

And you keep telling me that you’re all set 

Bridge: 

F#m / / / / / / / /     E / / / / / / / / 

F#m / / / / / / / /      E / / / / / / / / 

Chords:   A / / / /                     C#5 / /       D5 /  / 

Bass:     A       E  D     A            C#           D 

I’m pretty sure I’m still in my prime 

If i fall off a tree, i get back up and I climb 

I keep on going in overdrive 

If I’m not over the top, I’m over with life 

And i’ll let my departure reach you through rumors 

It’s better than later if I leave sooner 

It’s not that my welcome is overstayed 

It’s just I’ll only lay in the bed I made 

REF 

E            / / / /     / / / /            G  / / / /        D / / / / 

Well it’s none for the money, double price for the show 

A Quarter tank of gas to drive you home 

It’s your turn to place a bet 

And you keep telling me that you’re all set 

Bridge: 

F#m / / / / / / / /     E / / / / / / / / 

F#m / / / / / / / /      E / / / / / / / / 

Chords:   A / / / /                     C#5 / /       D5 /  / 

Bass:     A       E  D     A            C#           D 

Once upon a time, midnight sky 

Just a girl and a guy 

Talking for hours, talking for hours 

Talking for hours, talking for hours 

REF 

E            / / / /     / / / /            G  / / / /        D / / / / 

Well it’s none for the money, double price for the show 

A Quarter tank of gas to drive you home 

It’s your turn to place a bet 

And you keep telling me that you’re all set 

Going on a date with a pretty lady 

G / / / /   F / / / / 

Oh yeah, i’m going out on a date 

Oh yeah, going on a date with a pretty lady 

I’m gonna impress her so much 

And then she’s gonna be my girlfriend 

Oh yeah, I’m going out on a date 

I asked the pretty girl, “do you wanna go on a date with me?” 

And she said, “OK, I will go on a date with you.” 

And now I’m going on a date with that pretty lady 

C / / / / / / / /  C / / / /  / / / /   Am / / / / / / / /     Dm / / / /     G / / / / 

Oh yeah! I’m going on a date! 

Oh Yeah! We’re gonna stay out real late 

Oh yeah, she will so impressed by me 

Because I’ll spend a lot of money and I will be really witty 

C / / / / / / / /  C / / / / / / / /  Am / / / / / / / /     G / / / /    F / / / / 

Uh huh, I asked the girl on a date 

Uh huh, she said, “ok, I will go out with you.” 

And now this is what’s happening 

I’m going out on a date with a lady and I am very excited 

G / / / /   F / / / / 

Yeah Yeah! Going out on a date! 

Yeah yeah!  Pick up the girl in my car 

Uh huh! Tell her she looks beautiful. 

Yeah Yeah, give her some flower 

G / / / /   F / / / / 

Oh yeah, take the girl out to dinner 

Oh yeah! Take the girl to a movie! 

Oh yeah! Park the car somewhere private 

Kiss the girl 11 times, oh yeah, so much fun 

C / / / / / / / /  C / / / /  / / / /   Am / / / / / / / /     Dm / / / /     G / / / / 

Uh hugh, going out on a date 

Oh yeah, impressing that lady so much 

Oh yeah, spending all th emoney that I earned at work 

But it’s totally worth it! 

C / / / / / / / /  C / / / / / / / /  Am / / / / / / / /     G / / / /    F / / / / 

Uh huh, because I’m hanging out with a pretty lady 

Uh huh, I’m taking her out on the town 

Yeah Yeah, going out on a date 

Having lots of fun Falling in love! 

End on C 

I Get Sad When I Look at Pretty Girls / I Get Mad When Creeps Look at My Woman 

C / / / /   C7/Bb / / / /  Am/F# / / / /   F 

Shall I compare you to a piece of fruit 

Or would that just be rude? 

Since you’re out here on this bank of sand 

With some other dude 

I guess I’ll sit back and admire the view 

Ther’es nothing else I can do 

Well, you look so cute in your two piece suit 

It’s making me feel blue 

You’re looking so cute in your two-piece suit 

It’s making me feel blue 

Thought I’d treat my woman to a day at the beach 

Even bought her a new 2-piece suit 

But, wouldn’t you know, 

A nerdy, creepy guy starts mentally comparing her to fruit 

I think I’ll go over there and put him in his place 

I can’t let such rudeness pass 

I’ll put a quick stop to his daydreams 

And kick his voyeuristic ass 

Da da da da da da da da da da da 

I’m a big tough guy 

Timothee Chalomet 

C / / / /  / / / / /       G / / / /     F / / / / 

Timothee Chalomet, you are so wonderful 

You're a famous actor and you're handsome, oh yeah 

Timothee Chalomet, call me by your name 

You are a beautiful boy, that’s the movie that you’re in, oh yeah 

Timothee Chalomet, you are so talented 

I love to watch movies that you’re in 

Because you always do a good job in them 

Oh Oh! Timothee Chalomet, you have a role in the coming-of-age comedy / drama 

Entitled Lady Bird 

Dm7    / / / /              C/E      / / / /          F  / / / /             G  / / / / 

Oh Oh, Timothee Chalomet 

I really really wanna be your friend 

Call me on the phone sometime so we can be friends 

Dm7     / / / /             C/E    / / / /           F  / / / /       G    / / / / 

Oh Oh Timothee Chalomet, let me tell you my phone number 

It’s 603-644-0048 

C / / / /      G / / / /     F / / / /      C   / /       G   /  / 

Timothee Chalomet, you're a super duper handsome actor man 

Oh yeah, oh yeah 

And you’re very good at portraying characters up on the big screen 

Timothee Chalomet, you’re so great 

Dm7    / / / /              C/E      / / / /          F  / / / /             C  / / / / 

There’s no body better in the world than Timothee Chalomet 

Oh Oh Oh Oh yeah 

Basin and Range 

D  / / / / / / / /       A / / / / / / / / 

First time I saw the basin and range 

I thought about the hard days 

I thought about the long ways 

First time I heard you calling my name 

I thought that you would reach out 

I figured you would reach out 

First time I saw the basin and range 

I thought about the hard days 

Thought about the long ways 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh 

First time I had the courage to say 

“I think that we should lie down 

Out to wear the plates stop.” 

First time I put my feet on that clay 

I knew I had to stay there 

I knew I had to be there 

First time I saw the basin and range 

I thought about the hard days 

I thought bout the long ways 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh 

G / / / / / / /         D / / / /  /  / / /    G / / / / / / / /    D / / / /     C / / / / 

And I can tell you what I know 

But you won’t believe me 

And I can show you where to go 

But you won’t believe me 

Won’t believe me 

D  / / / / / / / /       A / / / / / / / / 

First time I saw the basin and range 

I thought about the hard days 

I thought about the long ways 

First time I heard you calling my name 

I thought that you would reach out 

I figured you would reach out 

First time I saw the basin and range 

I thought about the hard days 

Thought about the long ways 

Oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Campfire Connection 

Cm7 / /      Ebmaj7   /  /        F   / / / / 

Let’s never have another campfire connection 

I’ll never let you mother decide my direction 

Let’s never have another campfire connection 

I’ll never let you mother decide my direction 

I’m bored and I can afford 

To choose my spots until I’m sure 

I’m bore, I’m not yet lured 

I’ve got squat but I’ll get more 

Dm7   /  /       Bb    /  /        F / / / / 

And oh how suggestions come so gently 

Oh but nothing happens accidentally 

Cm7 / /      Ebmaj7   /  /        F   / / / / 

Let’s never have another campfire connection 

I’ll never let your mother decide my direction 

Let’s never have another back porch session 

Please never blow my cover about my confession 

I’m blessed, I’ve got my rest 

Now it’s time to leave the nest 

I don’t wanna pass her test 

I”ve got a bigger quest 

Dm7   /  /       Bb    /  /        F / / / / 

And oh how suggestions come so gently 

Oh but nothing happens accidentally 

Cm7 / /      Ebmaj7   /  /        F   / / / / 

(massive solo until the song ends) 

(I’m bored and I can afford to choose my spots until I’m sure) 

(I’m bored, I’m not yet lured, I’ve got squat but I’ll get more) 

(I’m blessed, I’ve got my rest, now it’s time to leave the nest) 

(I don’t wanna pass her test.  I’ve got a bigger quest) 

Bleak 

Bb / / / /     D / / / /    Eb / / / /   F / / / / 

People often ask me, “Huston, why must you be so bleak?” 

“Nameless, faceless person,” I reply, sardonically. 

“If you don’t understand by now 

If you don’t understand by now 

Then you never will 

No you never will 

This is my planet” 

If they don’t leave after these words are said 

I kill them with my chainsaw and eat their remains raw 

There’s not much more that can be said about this situation 

There’s not much more that can be said about this situation 

I’m so bleak 

I’m so bleak 

I’m so bleak - this is my planet 

I’m so bleak - this is my world 

I’m so bleak - this is my planet 

I’m so bleak - and you’re my girl 

This is my planet 

I’m so bleak 

I never fathomed that 

I never fathomed that 

Stay Gluten Free! 

C  / / / /     G/C    / / / /      F/C    / / / /      G/C     / / / / 

You gotta stay away from the gluten 

The gluten is gonna make you die 

Everybody is eating the gluten 

And then they’re feeling very sick 

The doctors told us to stay away from gluten 

Because gluten is an evil thing 

Eat gluten, and you’re gonna die 

If you don’t wanna die, don’t eat gluten 

You have got to be careful of the gluten 

Gluten’s gonna getcha 

Gluten’s gonna kill ya! 

When you’re buying food at the grocery store 

Only buy the food that says “Gluten Free.” 

It’s doesn’t mean that they are giving away free gluten 

It means the product doesn’t contain any gluten 

And if the product doesn’t contain any gluten 

That means it’s healthy and it isn’t gonna kill you. 

You’ve got to stay away from the gluten 

You’ve got to stay away from the gluten 

Gluten’s evil, and it’s gonna kill you 

You’ve got to stay away from the gluten 

Magic Song 

Intro: 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

C / / / / / / / /        G / / / / / / / / 

Things been going wrong 

C / / / / / / / /  Em / / / /     C / / / / 

But I still got my magic song 

G / / / /               C / / / / 

Deep in the hole it’s my ace 

Here we go face to face 

Em   / / / /  / / / /                F / / / /         C / / / / / 

Right where we belong     with my magic song! 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

C / / / / / / / /        G / / / / / / / / 

Ooh Ooh I do 

C / / / / / / / /  Em / / / /     C / / / / 

Want to swim in blue creek with you 

G / / / /               C / / / / 

You and me beneath the moon 

You love it when I sing this tune 

Em   / / / /  / / / /                F / / / /      C  / / / / / 

Right where we belong     with my magic song! 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

Bridge: 

D / / / /   / / / /  G / / / / 

Baby, baby come right here and let me sing into your ear 

Em / /         C / /          D / / / / 

This perfect melody. 

Em / /         C / /          D / / / / 

Made for you by me 

D / / / /   / / / /  G / / / / 

Baby, baby come right here and let me sing into your ear 

Em / /         C / /          D / / / / 

This perfect melody. 

Em / /         C / /          D / / / /      / / / / 

Made for you by me 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

C / / / / / / / /        G / / / / / / / / 

Things been going right 

C / / / / / / / /  Em / / / /     C / / / / 

Cause I got my magic song tonight 

G / / / /               C / / / / 

It came to me on the night we met 

This melody I can’t forget 

Em   / / / /  / / / /                F / / / /         C / / / / / 

Right where we belong     with my magic song! 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

G  / / / /      C / /     Em / / 

G / / / /         C / /    Em  / / 

G / / / /       C / /    Em / /      F / / / / 

G 

Pulverising the Penguin 

Chords:   D / / /          G /             D / / / / 

Bass:  D C D C D   F G F           D C D C D C D 

Woke up one morning, looked out my window 

What did I see? 

A penguin looking at me! 

So I said, 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

“Listen, you tiny penguin, 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

why are you looking at me? 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

If you don’t move along, you penguin, 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

you’re gonna get the beat down of your life.” 

Chords:   D / / /          G /             D / / / / 

Bass:  D C D C D   F G F           D C D C D C D 

So the penguin chose to ignore 

So I opened the door, walked up to that penguin 

Grabbed my baseball bat 

Said, “Listen here, penguin, if you don’t get out 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

You’re gonna get the beat down, the beat down of your life 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

And he chose to not respond 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

Just standing, looking on, Penguin 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

So then I took my bat and started... 

Chords:   D / / /          G /             D / / / / 

Bass:  D C D C D   F G F           D C D C D C D 

Started bashing his head 

You dirty penguin! 

Why did you not listen to me?  Ahh! 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

Pulverising the penguin. 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

Pulverising it good 

F / /                C / /        Bb / / / / 

Pulverising the penguin 

F / /                C / /        D / / / / 

Pulverising it good 

Chords:   D / / /          G /             D / / / / 

Bass:  D C D C D   F G F           D C D C D C D 

That dirty penguin 

Gotta get the hose 

All bloody all over the place 

More blood than you’d expect from a small penguin 

Pulverising the penguin 

Pulverising it good 

Dirty Penguin 

Congratulations on being Born 

C 

Congratulations on your birth.  Welcome to life here on earth. 

G                          Dm 

It’s wild and it’s wonderful it’s strange and it’s cruel 

  G                      F 

You’ll laugh like a monkey, you’ll cry like a fool 

C 

Big people will tell you what to do until you realize they’re just like you 

G                              Dm 

They’re lost and confused without much of a clue 

G                               F 

They’ve only been here a few years longer than you 

C 

Em Dm 

Take from them what you can get   but don’t be their duplicate 

C                                                 G/B 

Or do.   Who am I to tell you? 

Em Dm 

It’s not so very nice 

C                                                 G/B 

Advising you not to accept advice 

F                          G 

When it’s inevitable and completely contagious 

We have no say, after all, over our language 

F                        C/E                      G 

Or our patterns of thought or our habits 

Barely a step above parrots 

C 

Sorry to get glum about our hopes for advancement 

Your birth is a magical moment of enchantment 

G                          Dm 

I’ve just done so little with what I’ve got 

  G                      F 

But if we all do a little, I guess that adds up to a lot 

F                                              G 

So we’ll get you started the best that we can 

Accepting that few things go according to plan 

For as long as you’ll let us and then we will rest 

As you go out there and give it your best 

C 

Fate Mother 

D 

they say, Fate mother’s like no other 

 Bm7    A    G 

she’s open door 

D 

I say fate mother’s like fake mother I 

 Bm7    A    G 

see through her 

Em7 

but no one finds fascination 

Bm7 

in a reevaluation 

A 

of what’s been settled 

Em7 

and oh I’m checking the facts and 

Bm7 

their only reaction 

A 

is kid, don’t meddle 

G                                           D     A/C# 

where there’s brushback there is truth 

and I’ll keep collecting proof 

G                              A 

La da da da da da 

La da da da da da 

D 

They say Fate Mother will uncover 

 Bm7    A    G 

your potential 

D 

I say Fate Mother? None of her 

 Bm7    A    G 

is essential 

Em7 

be cause no, one needs a guru 

Bm7 

you can find the true you 

A 

on your own 

Em7 

and oh I’m making my case 

Bm7 

and they say to my face 

A 

please go home 

G                                      D     A/C# 

where there’s brushback there is truth 

and I’ll keep collecting proof 

Bm7                 E 

and I’ll use my facts  to remove her mask 

G                     A 

then everyone in town    will just double down 

Em7 

but no one finds fascination 

Bm7 

in a reevaluation 

A 

of what’s been settled 

Em7 

and oh I’m checking the facts and 

Bm7 

their only reaction 

A 

is kid, don’t meddle 

Em7 

and oh oh, it’s so easy 

Bm7 

because it’s so cheesy 

A 

and trite and hollow 

Em7 

and oh oh, they all want this 

Bm7 

they feel accomplished 

A 

though it don’t last until tomorrow 

G                                           D     A/C# 

Why do I care anyway? 

They never asked me to be saved 

G                              A 

La da da da da da 

La da da da da da 

D 

Nice Dress 

F2  / / /     / / /           Am7  / / /         C  / / /     / / / 

fire’s burning 

the clouds have moved on 

just in time to reveal the stars 

before the sun shines them gone 

we can beat the dawn’s early light 

to the spot we were destined to steal off tonight 

transitions and trials and trust 

the sparks in their eyes mean that they can’t adjust 

near enough to track our next step 

It’s our shot, something special and honest and fresh 

i like your dress 

and I like the promise 

of dream secrets shared in a realm dark and honest 

nothing sacred, nothing subtle 

Oh my here we go, I am in for some trouble 

She’s Leaving Town 

E / / / /    Bm7 / / / /      F#m7  / / / /    D / / / / 

She’s leaving town.  She’s leaving town. 

There’s no chance for us 

She’s Jenny and I’m Forrest 

Except I don’t run that far 

Or rub elbows with the stars 

And she thinks the world is awesome 

And I keep thinking about microcosms 

It’s not as if she’s ever gonna leave our solar system 
Or that shallow distance brings about some kind of deeper wisdom 

A / / / /     A2 / / / /   C#m  / / / /   D / / / / 

And I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her 

E / / / /    Bm7 / / / /      F#m7  / / / /    D / / / / 

She’s leaving town.  She’s leaving town. 

She’s gotta do whatever she must 

And when her plan goes bust 

I know and I trust 

We’ll pick right up as the both of us 

A / / / /     A2 / / / /   C#m  / / / /   D / / / / 

And I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her if my love was pure 

I’d be happy for her 

E / / / /    Bm7 / / / /      F#m7  / / / /    D / / / / 

She’s leaving town.  She’s leaving town. 

She’s gotta do whatever she must 

And when her plan goes bust 

I know and I trust 

We’ll pick right up as the both of us